The Phillies Are World Fucking Champions - Part 1

I apologize for the timing of this post.  I should have posted this 2 months ago, when the emotions were still fresh and the feeling was still new.  Then the CPA Exam followed by a busy work schedule got in the way, and before I knew it, 2 months had flown by.  But now that it's Christmas and I have some time to reflect, I want to tell you about my Christmas present.  It came about 2 months early this year, and it definitely was the best gift I've ever received.  The best part about it?  I'll have it for the rest of my life.  Of course, that gift is the Phillies World Series Championship.

Let's start from the point where it almost all went to hell.  Game 5 of the World Series took place on a Monday night.  If you were in Philadelphia that night, you remember how shitty the weather was.  It was about 35 degrees, just above freezing, and around the 3rd inning it started raining.  The rain wasn't too terrible at first, just some light showers.  As time went on the rain got worse, and worse, and worse, and the winds began to pick up.  During the 5th inning, the rain was coming down so hard that the conditions were simply unplayable.  At some point during this fiasco, Jimmy Rollins, out Gold Glove shortstop, dropped a routine pop-up because the wind was blowing in all different directions.  Basically, it got to the point that baseball wasn't even being played any more.  It was a disgrace, and Bud Selig added another giant black eye to his already horrendous resume.

Let's get to the baseball.  The Phillies held on to a 2-1 lead going into the 5th inning with their ace, Cole Hamels, on the hill.  Hamels had pitched tremendously throughout the entire postseason, winning all 4 games he started, and never giving up more than 2 runs in any of them.  With a 2-1 lead you could almost guarantee a Phillies victory...unless mother nature had something to do with it.  We can skip all the painful details, but suffice it to say that by the middle of the 6th, the Rays had tied the game at 2, and the weather had everything to do with it.  When asked after the game what it was like throwing in those conditions, Cole replied that he couldn't feel the baseball, and had no idea where his pitches were going to land.  Thanks, Bud, let's decide the World Series like that, asshole.  Of course, the umpires finally delayed the game, after the Rays had tied it, and every person in Philadelphia was ready to jump off the Walt Whitman Bridge.  The score:  2-2, mid 6.  All of the jubilation, excitement, and anticipation that preceded the game had been washed away from the city of Philadelphia, and now everyone was expecting the worst.  At Smith's, the bar in Center City where I decided to watch the game, the mood was eerily somber, and for the first time all night you could hear the person next to you talk.  An hour later, the game was officially delayed, and no one knew when the game would resume.

Needless to say, I was miserable.  I had been anticipating a victory since Game 4 ended on Sunday.  I knew that with our ace on the hill, our ravenous home fans supporting us, and destiny on our side, we were going to win the World Series.  Now I wasn't so sure.  Our ace was spent, and would not be available to pitch the rest of Game 5.  The Rays gained the momentum that we had built up since the stunning Game 3 victory at 2AM.  The horrors of seasons past began to rear their ugly heads, and everyone was now expecting the worst.  Hey, this is Philadelphia we're talking about.  We've been conditioned to have our hearts ripped out and our seemingly best moments smashed before our very eyes.  To make matters worse, when I arrived at the PATCO station around midnight and boarded the train, it decided it wasn't going to move.  Apparently, the rails were malfunctioning, and they weren't sure when they would be fixed.  Fan-fucking-tastic!  I had no ride home, it was cold and miserable outside, and the Phillies just had the World Series stolen from them by mother nature.  My dad was sleeping, my mom was sick, Heath was drunk, so I really didn't know how I was going to get home.  The thought had actually crossed my mind to sleep in the office and just hope to wake up before anyone got there and clean myself up a bit.  Cooler heads prevailed, and Julie finally got one of her co-workers to come get us from Center City.  I got home at 2 AM, cold, miserable, and tired, and tried to fall asleep without crying at how terribly the night had turned out.

The next morning, I got up for work and needless to say, really didn't feel like working.  I perused every article about the prior night's game, and had my suspicions confirmed that it was handled in pretty much the worst manner possible.  The normally pleasant 12 minute walk to work seemed to take 2 hours, and with every step my body felt the bitter cold and rain that surrounded me.  Imagine the perfect weather for your funeral (or a normal day from November to March in Pittsburgh) and that's pretty much the weather we had in Philly on October 28.  After a while, I simply gave up thinking about it, and just hoped that whenever we played next would turn out OK.  I found out later in the day that we wouldn't be playing Tuesday night, and the game was rescheduled for Wednesday at 8:28.  Then, a glimmer of hope appeared.  During my lunch break, I spoke with Raj.  I told him that I thought he should come home for the game on Wednesday night.  For those of you who don't know, Raj is at UVA med school right now, and like all med students, works his ass off.  Raj is also one of the most devoted Phillies fans I know.  Raj, Julie, Kanad, and myself comprise our Phillies "crew."  The 4 of us regularly attend games together, talk about the Phillies constantly, and when we're all together add a certain magic element to the Phillies.  I knew that if the 4 of us were to go to Smith's together on Wednesday night to watch the Phillies game, we would have to win the World Series.  All the pieces would be in place, and we'd be well on our way.  I planted the seed in Raj's head, and he told me he wasn't sure but he would let me know.  With that, I finally felt a resurgence in my energy.

I went to bed that night, excited for tomorrow's game, hopeful that Raj would come back.  I received my answer at 6:22 AM when my alarm went off, and I checked my text messages.  Raj was coming home.  It was on.  On Wednesday, the weather was just as crappy, but this time my energy was re-charged.  In fact, the entire city seemed to be re-charged.  I felt the excitement in the air once again.  People were starting to believe.  Starting to believe that this Phillies team was not your ordinary Philadelphia team.  Starting to believe that all the years of pain and anguish could be turned around.  Starting to believe we could WIN.  I drifted through work that day, not focusing on a damn thing besides the Phillies.  Once I got out, I was ready, we were going to win.

I met up with Raj, Julie, and Kanad at the PATCO station, and we took the 5 block walk over to Smith's.  I started this thing at Smith's, and I was going to finish it there, too.  It was cold and a little bit rainy out, but now it didn't matter.  Nothing was stopping us tonight.  When we arrived at Smith's it was just as packed as it was on Monday, and the energy was back.  As the Phillies got ready to hit in the bottom of the 6th, we sipped our beer and got ready for what was to become the best night of our lives.  Before we knew it, we were back on top after a clutch pinch-hit double by Geoff Jenkins and single by Jayson Werth.  The bar was rockin' and everyone was ready for the victory celebration that was to occur 3 innings later.  But as soon as we got the lead, it evaporated, as Rocco Baldelli took a Ryan Madson fastball deep to left field.  3-3 game, tension mounting.  

But the tide turned for good when Chase Utley made one of the most heads-up, gutsy plays I have ever seen.  After Baldelli's Home Run, the Rays got a man on 2nd base with 2 outs.  Akinori Iwamura hit a sharp grounder to Utley's right, forcing him away from first base.  Knowing the Iwamura had great speed and would certainly beat out the throw, Utley pump faked over to first base anyway, but held on to the ball.  The pump-fake was enough to get Jason Bartlett to round 3rd and head for home, as he thought the throw was going to 1st base.  Instead, Bartlett had a Carlos Ruiz tag waiting for him at home, and the Phillies were out of the inning.  To the casual baseball fan, this play might not seem like much, as it didn't involve superb athleticism or anything of that nature.  However, it required a great baseball IQ and a complete comprehension of the game and all of its nuances.  To lovers of baseball, this play was amazing.

The bottom of the 7th.  Pat Burrell at the plate.  For those of you who don't know, Pat Burrell is the longest tenured Phillie on the team.  He's been around since 2001, and he's had an up-and-down, rollercoaster ride with the team and its fans.  This year, the fans finally accept Pat for who he is, and he becomes one of the most beloved players on the team.  However, Pat is in the final year of his contract, and the speculation is that he won't be back for the 2009 campaign or beyond.  This very likely could be his final at bat in Citizens Bank Park, or possibly his final at bat as a Phillie.  But Pat is hitless in the World Series thus far, and hasn't looked very good at the plate.  As Pat steps in, everyone in Philadelphia is hoping he saves the season, and gets his final swan song as a Philadelphia Phillie.  After a few pitches, Pat finally sees something he likes, and gives it a good rip.  The ball is crushed deep to left, back, back, back, and hits the top of the fence, less than a foot away from a home run.  Pat is forced to settle for a double, and settle for coming a foot shy of becoming a Phillies legend for eternity.  So close Pat, so close.  2 batters later, Pedro Feliz delivers a clutch RBI single as he has done so many times this season, and the Phillies take the lead 4-3.  Nothing exciting happens during the 8th inning, and the 9th inning finally arrives.  The Phillies have the lead 4-3, in the 9th inning of the World Series, and our perfect closer, Brad Lidge, is about to take the hill.  Holy shit, this is unreal.

Before the 9th inning arrives, I hurry over to the bar.  I purchase 4 shots of Crown Royal in anticipation of what is about to occur.  This could potentially be an extremely stupid move for 2 reasons.  1)  I might jinx the Phillies and we may not win.  2)  I spent $30 on shots that I won't even need to be happy.  The Phillies winning will be all I need.  O well, I wasn't thinking that clearly at the time, so I bought the shots anyway.

As I walked back to my friends, shots in hand, I began to think about what this would mean to me if we could hold on.  I thought about all the crazy games I had been to over the past 5 years, when I really became a huge Phillies fan.  I thought about all the hours I spent in front of my TV, with my family and friends, hoping the Phillies, and all the other Philadelphia teams for that matter, would pull out a championship.  I thought about how that team had given me so much joy over the years, and how at the same time had caused me so much pain.  I thought about all the friendships that had gotten stronger because of the Phillies.  I thought about all the money I had spent, all the collectibles I had obtained, and all the gifts I had given.  I thought about the entire postseason, and all the magical moments it had provided:  both games I had attended, Brett Myers's crazy at-bats with CC Sabathia, Victorino's HR off Sabathia, Pat Burrell's HRs against the Brewers, Utley's game saving home-run against the Dodgers, Myers's 4 hits against the Dodgers, Victorino calling out Hiroki Kuroda after he threw a beanball, Utley's diving double play during Game 4, Matt Stairs's HR off of Jonathan Broxton in Game 4 of the NLCS, clinching the NL Pennant, Utley's first inning home run in Game 1 of the World Series, all of Hamels's brilliant performances, Lidge continuing his perfect season, Game 3 of the World Series (one of the craziest games I've ever seen), Jamie Moyer's diving play (who cares if the ump blew the call), finding out Jamie Moyer was extremely sick during Game 3, winning Game 4, the pain and anguish of Game 5 Part 1, the joy of having all my friends with me for Game 5 Part 2.

And finally, I thought about my grandparents, my grandparents who are no longer here to celebrate with me.  My grandfather was an avid sports fan, one of the people who introduced me to baseball, and helped foster my love for the game.  He attended every single baseball game I ever played, even if I was never going to play for the Phillies myself.  It didn't matter.  My grandmother was never much of a sports fan, but she supported everything I ever loved, and as such, became a Phillies fan herself.  If she were well, she would have been at every baseball game I ever played.  And no matter how many times I struck out, she would have thought I played like an All-Star.  I thought about how excited they would be for me at this very moment, and how when I got home, they would wait for my phone call, no matter how late it was, so they could celebrate with me.  I thought about how anytime in my life, whenever anything good happened to me, they would be there to share it with me.  I thought about the gaping hole in my heart since I lost them, and how nothing in this world will ever replace them.  If we were going to win, I was dedicating the joy I received from this celebration to them.  They would have been so happy.  The elation I was about to experience made me miss them more than I can describe.  But they would have wanted me to celebrate without that burden right then, so I got back to my friends, and prepared to celebrate.

Lidge entered to the "Soldiers" music, just like he had a few dozen times earlier that season.  Good sign, let's hope same music = same result.  Our closer made quick work of the Rays' upstart rookie Evan Longoria, just as our entire pitching staff had all series.  Our advance scouts did a fantastic job finding his weaknesses, and we exploited them all series long.  I don't think the obnoxious chants of "EEEEE-VAAAAAA" helped the 23 year-old out at all either.  Next up was Dioner Navarro, who slashed a single into right field to give the Rays a man on first with one out.  While the Phillies faithful was still confident, those demons began to take their toll once again.  Navarro, a fat catcher, was quickly replaced with Perez, the Rays' speedster off the bench.  He's only the fastest guy in baseball.  Fantastic.  Of course, Perez quickly stole second base, and the demons became more pronounced.  "Please tell me he's not going to blow his first save at this time," was the sentiment thought by about 3 million people in Philadelphia at that time.  A few pitches later, Ben Zobrist roped a ball into right field.  It looked exactly like Navarro's ball.  It looked like it was going to drop.  It looked like our greatest fears were going to be realized right before our eyes...but then Jayson Werth caught that ball.  1 out away from our dream.

At this point, my knuckles must have been ghostly white, and the anticipation was really starting to get to me.  I was literally sick to my stomach, I couldn't breathe, and I felt like my chest was going to cave in on me.  I think at some point I began to hyperventilate, and my friends had to calm me down.  This was becoming too much, someone had to end it before I had a heart attack.  Then, Erik Hinske stepped to the plate.  He was the final obstacle between the Phillies, our dream of a World Series Championship.  I gauged Lidge's face to try to see how he was holding up at this point.  Before he stepped onto the mound, he looked around at the spectacle before him, and took it all in.  After a few seconds, he took the mound, and you could see that he was ready to go.  First pitch, strike, foul ball.  Second pitch, strike, swinging.  O MY GOD, WE'RE ONE STRIKE AWAY FROM THE WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!  After some raucous applause from the patrons of Smith's, the bar got deathly quiet in anticipation of the final strike.  Bradley Thomas Lidge wound up, and just like Tug McGraw did 28 years earlier, delivered the Phillies a World Series Championship.  He threw a nasty slider, one of those unhittable ones, and Hinske never had a chance.  Strike three swinging, game over.  

Lidge dropped to his knees, yelled towards the heavens, and was mobbed by the rest of the team.  Citizens Bank Park went ballistic, and the city of Philadelphia blew a 25 year load that had been pent up inside, waiting for a championship.  Of course, I didn't see this until about 5 hours later, because about 4 miles North of Citizens Bank Park, the patrons of Smith's Bar & Restaurant were having a celebration of their own.  Remember those shots that I bought before the 9th inning?  I threw that shot on the floor as soon as I saw Hinske strike out.  I started jumping around like a madman, hugging everyone in sight, screaming at the top of my lungs, and enjoying the best moment of my entire life.  Champagne and beer were flying everywhere for about 30 seconds, and the bar was a scene of absolute bedlam.  For a solid 5 minutes, I was disconnected from my body, as the adrenaline and excitement dominated the moment.  I took a few seconds to look around at that point, to peer into the faces of all the Phillies fans who had just witnessed what I had witnessed.  I saw smiles and tears, genuine emotion, and enough pure joy to last a lifetime.  To this day, I still find it amazing how a group of 25 baseball players can make millions of people so incredibly happy.  But the Phillies did, and it's something that I will never forget.

Of course, taking it all in, I shed a few tears myself.  I mean come on, how could I not?  I'd been dreaming about this moment for years, and now it had finally come true.  I was able to share the moment with my 3 best friends, all of whom had sacrificed with me for many years to enjoy this celebration.  I could not have asked for a more perfect moment, and I guess that's what hit me right then, was that this was perfect.  I would not have changed one detail about the entire night, and I don't think too many people have ever experienced something like that.  As Raj, Julie, Kanad and I celebrated together, we made sure we enjoyed every moment, every detail, and every nuance of this perfect night.

After the initial celebration at Smith's, the crowd filed out of the bar and congregated on Chestnut St.  We all just kind of stood around screaming for a while, and no one was really sure what they were supposed to be doing at this point.  However, it didn't take too long for all of us to realize that the party was moving in one direction, and that direction was due East, straight to Broad St.

To be honest with you, I cannot put into words the emotion and power of that walk down Chestnut to Broad St.  I'll try my best to describe it, but testimony from Raj, Kanad or Julie would probably serve best.  First off, I was so excited and happy, I felt drunk.  At first I wondered if the alcohol was hitting me, but then I realized all I had purchased that night was 2 Bud Lights and a shot of Crown, and the Crown was lying somewhere on the floor of the bar.  I came to the conclusion that I was literally high on emotion, and I was just going to enjoy the moment.

The true entertainment value of the 5 block walk down Chestnut came from my bodily movements.  For those of you who don't know, I'm white (see top right of page), and when I get excited my whiteness really shows its true colors (i.e. "Doodie Dance").  When I totally lose focus on what I look like to other people, my body often moves in embarrassing ways.  There's nothing I can really do about it, and as I've grown older I've started to care less and less about it.  Well, the euphoria really took over on this night, because I was jumping, lunging, dancing, and moving in all kinds of embarrassing ways all the way down the street.  I didn't care how I looked, because this was the best night of my life, but I'll bet this would have made fantastic footage to be shown at my wedding, or some other important event where I'm supposed to look professional.  Here's to hoping that one of my friends had a video camera I wasn't aware of and is planning to expose the footage at some inopportune time.

The only blip of the night came at 16th and Chestnut, where cars were still driving on the roads.  Raj not so wisely thought that traffic lights didn't apply to him, and stepped right into the middle of the street as a car was about to cross the intersection.  Luckily, one of my friends from work, Troy, was paying attention and grabbed Raj before he became roadkill.  No harm, no foul.  We continued our trek.

When we finally arrived at Broad St, I could not believe my eyes.  Herds of people were flocking toward the exact same location, and Broad St. had became a party for a few hundred thousand people.  I tried to peer south down Broad to see how far it extended, but there was no end.  There was just a mass of humanity, and all of them were headed to Broad St.  It kind of looked like something out of a horror film, where zombies have congregated at one central location, even though their brains no longer function.  The party after the Phillies won the World Series was kinda like that, except we all weren't eating each other.  Although to be honest, at some points it appeared like we were.  I have never hugged, high-fived, grabbed, groped, carried, and celebrated with more people in my life.  There were poor people, rich people, young people, old people, white people, black people, brown people (yes, there were even brown people other than Raj and Kanad), good looking people, ugly people, cops, and vagrants, and for one glorious night, none of that mattered.  Everyone was united under the magic that was the Phillies season, and all distinctions faded away.

After a short while, some of the revelers got creative, and started climbing lightpoles.  One dude, with Spiderman like reflexes, climbed 30-40 feet up a pole and began removing one of the Phillies banners affixed to the lightpole.  20 minutes later, every lightpole on Broad St. was bare.

Down on the street with the rest of the people who weren't brave enough to climb up a lightpole, I was showing off some of the fantastic moves I had mentioned a few paragraphs ago.  Apparently, some people appreciate moves like that because a circle opened up around me for a few seconds.  I locked eyes with a guy across the circle from me, and he suggested by his body language that he appreciated my passion.  He moved quickly towards me when I realized that he was holding a bottle of champagne, and it had one destination written all over it, my bald head.  As I prepared for my first bubbly shower, I got into a wide open stance, raised my arms towards the heavens, and let out my best manly war scream.  This right here, was the best moment of my entire life.  My eyes have never felt such a sting, but wow was it an incredible feeling.  I cannot describe the awesome-ness of the situation, but it was pure, and it was magical.  On a side note, I still think the players who wear goggles during the celebrations in the locker rooms are pussies.  Chase Utley doesn't wear any bitch-ass goggles, and neither does Jeff Kaplan.

We partied on Broad St for about 2 hours or so, before my lungs told me that they had enough for the night, and were not going to let me scream any more.  The crowd also was getting a restless at this point, and things were starting to break.  I still don't understand why when people party, they feel the need to destroy other people's property.  But this is a happy entry, so we're going to focus on the positives and not the drunken idiots who threw a trash can through an FYE window and looted the store.  Throw a trash can and loot because their prices are ridiculous and their business model is horrendous in today's market, not because the Phillies won the World Series!

During the course of our party on Broad St, I must have hugged Raj, Kanad, and Julie at least 500 times.  I still couldn't believe how perfect the situation was, seeing the Phillies win the World Series, surrounded by my 3 best friends, and partying with thousands of Phillies fans who shared my passion.  There are very few moments in life that come together absolutely perfectly, and I am extremely thankful I was able to experience one of them.  Needless to say, I am going to remember it for the rest of my life, and it will be a story I am able to tell my grandkids about when I am old and wise.

I am sure that there are hundreds of little moments that I could tell you about, but since this is day 6 of me writing this entry, I'm going to put the pen down now.  It's been an absolute blast writing this, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it, as well.  I hope I'll be able to write another entry exactly like this, just much, much shorter, when the Phillies win the World Series again in 2009.

 

Song of the Day:  The Roots - !!!!!!!!

Bonus Easter Egg: Just For You!!

While I was in Pittsburgh, Joey D. introduced me to a new SNL Digital Short that is freakin' hilarious.  Most of you have probably seen it by now, but if you haven't, I've listed the link here for your viewing "pleasure."  Wow, nice double entendre, Kaps.  Anyway, here is

"Jizz in My Pants."

P.S. - Check for the cameo.  I'll give you a hint, it's the janitor.  And on a side note, Jamie Lynn Sigler is really hot.  That is all.

Song of the Day:  Talib Kweli - Guerilla Monsoon Rap

I Passed Out on the Bathroom Floor? A Pittsburgh Recap

Sorry for the delay and overall lack of posting recently.  I've been working 12-13 hour days and just haven't had the time to get on the blog.  Trust me, there will be a post or 2 relating to this topic in the coming days.  But today, it's on to happier topics like my trip to Pittsburgh last weekend.

Last weekend was simply put, one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time.  It actually started off quite treacherously, no not because of wine bonging, but because of PennDOT.  On the way out to Pittsburgh at around 1 AM, I hit some heavy snow about 25 miles west of Exit 57 on the turnpike.  Of course, PennDOT had the night off, (when don't they?) and decided not to salt or plow the roads.  I was able to hit a super fast 35 MPH the rest of the way, and I was seriously blowing cars away.  Gotta love PennDOT!  Anyway, I did arrive safely to Amy's place around 2 AM and tried to get to sleep shortly after for my 6:45 wakeup call to get to work.

I woke up around 6:45 and walked through the snow to the bus stop with Amy and Casey (we were all working in the same building).  {9 hours of unnecessary material deleted.}  Then, Amy and I left the US Steel Building around 4:30.

Friday night consisted of many Captain n' Cokes and a bunch of my best friends coming over to Mikey's place (my old stomping grounds) to hang out.  We did absolutely nothing special, just chilled, drank, and BSed for a few hours.  It was fantastic.  At first it seemed a little weird being back in Pittsburgh.  I hadn't been back for about 3 months, and I didn't want to feel distanced from the whole thing.  But after surveying the room and checking out the scene, I knew I was in the right place.  I just felt right.  I always look forward to going to Pittsburgh, and it's not because I do extremely rare or special things when I'm there.  Simply put, the last 4 years of my life were spent there, and I feel like I established some solid roots in that time.  Moving back to Philly and uprooting again may or may not have been a good decision.  I did decide that night that within the next year or so, there is an extremely high probability I will move back.  I don't like to use absolutes like "definitely" or anything like that, but suffice it to say that I won't be surprised if my zip code in a year is 15223 or something like that.

After hanging at my bro's for a while, we made our way to Gene's Place, my favorite dive bar in Oakland, or anywhere for that matter.  The night got a little hazy at that point, and I don't remember all that much.  Apparently we came back to my brother's place and I puked in both bathrooms over the next hour.  Lesson #1 kids, your tolerance goes to shit after college.  Apparently, after puke #2 I passed out on the bathroom floor.  My brother found me there a little bit later and had to pick me up from the floor.  Next thing I know, it's 10 AM and my parents are calling.  There's nothing like re-living your undergrad years!

I spent most of Saturday with Yan at Piper's, my favorite soccer bar in Pittsburgh, or anywhere for that matter.  We had a nice heart-to-heart (very manly) and got to talking about our plans for the upcoming years.  Add a few more points to the "Reasons I Need to Come Back to Pittsburgh" tally.  In all seriousness, it was really good to catch up.  I don't get to talk to Yan, or many of you guys in Pittsburgh, nearly enough, and I cherish each opportunity I get to hang with you guys.  

Later that night, me, Mikey and his roommates went out to dinner.  On the way there, we were 2 minutes behind a nasty hit and run accident at Forbes and Bigelow.  Apparently, some guy ran a red light, smashed into a car, drove up on the sidewalk in front of Hillman Library, and drove away.  I think the driver of the innocent car was OK, thankfully.  I hope the other driver suffered internal bleeding and is lying in a ditch somewhere.  When we got to Union Grill, we were sitting at the bar waiting for our table, when this 65 year old guy sitting right next to us collapsed and was lying unconscious on the floor.  The typical, "Is anyone a doctor?" shit went down until a paramedic came over to check on this guy.  What was wrong with him?  Apparently, he was really fucked up (drunk) and just simply had too much and collapsed.  Are you kidding me?  Who does that over the age of 25?  Anyway, after witnessing what could have been death twice in an hour, I was extra cautious the rest of the night.

I spent the rest of the night at Joey D's Christmas party, which was an interesting mix of a college party and an adult party.  It was actually quite comical.  You could see half the people trying to act like adults, drink "adult" alcoholic beverages, look classy, talk about their jobs, and be home by 12:30.  The other half of the crowd was still acting like they did in college, drinking whatever was around, taking shots, wearing a tie because that was the theme of the party, and staying around until 4:00 AM.  Yours truly is not ashamed to say he still falls in the second category, and that is not going to change any time soon.  Let's leave that topic for another post at another time though.

On Sunday, I packed it up and got ready to leave, this time with a little more direction than I came in with.  It felt really good to get my head straight for 48 hours, and going to Pittsburgh and forgetting about my job was exactly what I needed.  I'm going to be back for New Year's, and I'm hoping to have just as much fun as I did last weekend.  I know it will be.  So until next time, see you later Pittsburgh, it's been real.

Song of the Day:  Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up

Good Morning, Pittsburgh

The wait is finally over (for me anyway); I'll be back in Pittsburgh this weekend.  I wanted to make sure plans were finalized before I posted, but I will most definitely be returning to the 'Burgh this weekend.  If things go right at my client site, I'll be up late Thursday night, and will work out of the Pittsburgh office on Friday.  My first time in the Steel Building, exciting.

If you're around, read this blog, and want to get hammered this weekend, please let me know.  That leaves like 2 whole people, but whatever.  It should be a good time, and I really freakin' need it.  Let the AHRN flow.

Song of the Day: Kanye West - Robocop

It's Finally Over

It's been a week and a half since I last posted, and with good reason.  I took my last section of the CPA Exam on Tuesday.  My schedule the week before the exam went something like this: work, eat, sleep, study, repeat.  On the weekend, I knocked out the work part, and added an extra dose(s) of studying.  From Friday at 8 PM to Sunday at midnight, I put in 20+ hours.  I was miserable, it sucked, and it's not something I would want to do again.  It's actually kinda funny, but the more I studied, the more miserable I became, which motivated me to study more.  Because I'm a sado-masochist?  Not exactly.  The more miserable I became, the more motivation I had never to have to study for a CPA Exam again.

Tuesday morning I woke up, got ready, and took the nice 2 hour trip down I-95 to Towson, Maryland to take the exam (see November 10, 2008 post).  I actually forgot to perform my pre-exam routine, which made me nervous about halfway through the trip when I realized my mistake.  O well, I'd have to persevere.  After getting off the exit, I was a little bit nervous that I wouldn't find the test center.  I quickly realized that would not be an issue when I found the test center, tucked neatly into a corporate center, right behind an Applebee's.  For those of you who have taken the CPA Exam, you may realize that this sounds familiar, as every Prometric testing site has a list of prerequisite qualities.

• Located at a "Corporate Center"
• Tucked behind a national restaurant chain (i.e. Applebee's, Friday's, etc)
• Joined by other small businesses that you've never heard of

Since I arrived early, I spent the next 30 minutes cramming for the exam, reviewing all the lovely tax rules, and generally trying to shove as much information into my brain as it could possibly handle.  After having the registration lady chastise me for memorizing my entry code, (you would too if you were checking your scores everyday for 3 months, bitch) I began taking the exam.  Overall, I thought it was pretty difficult, and my lack of proper preparation definitely showed.  I did receive a lot of bullshit questions regarding minor issues that I ignored while studying, which annoyed me throughout the 3 hour exam.  But, I finished up with 7 seconds left and let out a huge sigh of relief when it was over.  I think I passed, but we'll know officially when I get my scores back in a few weeks.  Until then, I'm gonna try not to think about CPA stuff for as long as possible, and by that I mean the rest of my life.

The CPA Exam has been a long, crazy, and often torturous journey.  I began studying May 12 and took my last section November 25.  I took a 2 month break in September and October, and hardly did any studying in that time.  To be honest with you, I'm really surprised at how quickly I was able to study for and take this exam.  I always thought it would take many months to study for the CPA Exam, and I thought it would be more difficult.  I have to admit that the Becker software is fantastic, and I don't know what I would have done without it.  If any of you ever have any questions about the CPA Exam, and how to study for it, I'd be more than happy to answer them.  For now though, I'm just glad to be done.

Song of the Day:  Oasis - Falling Down

PS - Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Burgh Trip Postponed

For those interested, my scheduled trip to Pittsburgh that was supposed to go down this weekend will have to be postponed due to work and CPA exam commitments.  Notice I didn't say cancel, I said postponed, which means I'll be back to the Burgh on the weekend of December 5 or December 12, depending on a few factors.  I'll let you all know when I've made my decision.  My apologies to the countless thousands whose weekend is now ruined by this news.

Song of the Day:  Death Cab for Cutie - Cath

A Trip Back Through Time

Tonight I was flipping through the channels at home before an early night so I can sleep, and wake up to study for the CPA Exam.  Yup, my weekends sure are exciting during CPA studying huh?  But as I was flipping, I stumbled upon Channel 139, yes everyone's favorite, MTV Hitz.  The "z" is to prove to you that the channel is cool.  Anyway, because TRL is going off the air (thank god), MTV Hitz was showing a best of for each year TRL was on the air.  And since TRL was on the air since 1998, I got a nice flashback to a different time.  A time where soundtracks to movies actually mattered, a time of middle school dances, a time when Boy Bands ruled the world, and a time where I was awkward and weird.  Ok, well one of those things is still true, but I'll make you guess which one.

I wanted to share some observations as I was watching these videos that brought me back to my middle school days.  First off, music videos in the late 90s were so much better than the shit that gets put on TV nowadays.  Who doesn't remember the "All the Small Things" video or the "Oops! I Did it Again" video?  These are all classic music videos that we will all probably remember until we die.  Now we have the pleasure of reliving this awkward time of our lives on YouTube anytime we want.  Also, I can't believe how Boy Bands and Bubblegum Pop literally ruled the world at this time.  1999 featured music videos from Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera (yes, she's from Pittsburgh), Destiny's Child, NSync, Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees.  Of course, we also had the pleasure of listening to Limp Bizkit if we didn't like the poppy acts mentioned above.  (Please excuse me while I go vomit for an hour).  I would rather listen to the Backstreet Boys on repeat for a week straight than have to listen to "Nookie" even one more time.  

I present to you, the "Then and Now" Section.  You'll realize, the more things change, the more they stay the same...

In 1998, Lance Bass sang in the second biggest boy band in the world and could get any girl he wanted.  In 2008, Lance Bass likes men.  Tough break, dude.

In 1998, Justin Timberlake was considered a huge pussy with a "ramen noodle" haircut.  In 2008, Justin Timberlake is arguably the biggest male pop star in the world, and has street cred with rappers across the board.  This still amazes me.  

In 1998, Britney Spears was the biggest female pop star in the world, and Christina Aguilera was a raving slut.  In 2008, Christina Aguilera is well-respected, and Britney Spears is a crackhead.

In 1998, the Backstreet Boys were the biggest boy band in the world.  In 2008, at the World Series, the Backstreet Boys sang the worst rendition of the national anthem I have ever heard.

Timeout.  Holy shit, I just saw the music video for "Who Let the Dogs Out?"  How did songs like this and "Macarena" get popular in the 90s?  Were people a lot dumber then, or is

 everyone just too freakin' cool nowadays?

In 1998, people had money.  In 2008, everyone is broke.  Ok that's enough comparison for one night.

I will close with some weird observations from the night.

Adrian Grenier was the star of Britney Spears's "Crazy" video.  Yep, Vinny Chase got his start in a Britney Spears video.  That his to knock him down at least 2 or 3 points, right?

Sasha Baron Cohen's "Ali G" character got his start in the "Music" music video by Madonna.  He is in the limo with her at the beginning and is the DJ at the club where all the action takes place.  In the limo towards the end of the video, he asks her a bunch of ridiculous questions and follows up the last response with, "Respek."  Ali G was born in 2000, and almost no one knew it until about 4-5 years later.

The girl in the "I Do" video by 98 Degrees is a straight dime.  No doubt about it, she is amazingly hot.  I recommend you check it out on YouTube.  Turns out it's Ali Larter, who got famous from that "Doritos" commercial in the laundromat.  Remember that?  She is pictured for your viewing pleasure.  Also, Dustin Diamond AKA "Screech" is in the "I Do" video.  How did I not realize this 10 years ago?

Limp Bizkit has an album called "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water."  How the fuck did these idiots get famous?  Ok seriously, I have an idea.  Fred Durst should be sent to a deserted island that is filled with a whole group of giant speakers that play nothing but the worst of late 90s boy bands for eternity.  In less than a week, he would definitely have committed suicide.  And all would say together, "Good riddance."

I hope you enjoyed this journey back through time.  If you're bored, turn on MTV Hits any time until Sunday at 8PM.  You'll get to experience this wonderful trip yourself.

Song of the Day (a 90s favorite):  NSync featuring Gloria Estefan - Music of the Heart.  Eat your hearts out kids.

Uh-oh. CPA Mishap.

Many of you fine, distinguished readers of this blog (wait, wrong readers, sorry) are somewhat familiar with the CPA examination process.  Due to my lack of sleep over the past few days, I won't get into all my gripes with NASBA and the process, but you only need to understand 2 things for this blog post.  #1:  For each of the 4 sections of the exam, you have to schedule yourself at a Prometric testing site.  There are sites all over the place (2 in Pittsburgh, 1 in Philly, 1 in Conshohocken, and 1 in South Jersey).  #2:  Each section can be taken once per quarter, but you can't test in the last month of each quarter (March, June, September, and December).  This means that I need to take my last section by November 30.  I had planned on taking this section on November 29, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, which would give me 2 solid off days before the exam to review and feel comfortable with the material.

BUT...I came home from the bar Saturday night (Sunday morning) at 3:00 AM and decided now would be a good time to schedule my exam.  I went to sign up for the site in Philly because it's not too far from work, and I wouldn't need to take any off time.  They have no availability the rest of the month.  I think, no big deal, I'll take it in South Jersey.  No actually I won't, because they don't have any availability after the 13th, which is way too early for me.  Then I realize, that because it's the end of the testing period, everyone must have been scheduling for those last few days.  I begin checking test sites like a crack fiend.  All 5 in New Jersey, nothing.  7 sites from Philly to Allentown to Harrisburg in PA, nothing.  1 site in Delaware, nothing.  3 sites in DC, nothing.  3 sites in New York including 1 in Brooklyn, nothing.  At this point, I am ready to go off the deep end, and I think I'm going to have to cram for a week straight and study or take the test in Guam.  How the hell did I let this happen?  I take one last ditch attempt at Maryland, and check out the Towson, Maryland site.  One opening 11:30 AM on Tuesday, November 25.  Give it to me.  After 20 minutes, I finally calm down and go to sleep at 4:10 AM.

So I'll be taking the final portion of the CPA Exam in Towson, Maryland, which is about 2 hours from my house.  I guess it could be worse, because I have almost all of the time I thought I'd have to study, and this will force me to get it done before Thanksgiving, so I can enjoy the holiday.  I'll let you all know how it went after I take it.

Moral of the story:  Don't drink and select your CPA exam time concurrently, and schedule your tests well in advance.

Song of the Day:  The Beatles - Glass Onion

A Historic Night...

Tonight is a historic night for America.  At 11:00 PM, Barack Obama was unofficially elected President of the United States of America.  I am sure this election will evoke feelings of all kinds from hope to hatred throughout this country.  However, through all of those feelings, I hope people can begin to put aside their differences, and begin to make this country great once again.  It would be difficult for anyone, liberal or conservative, to say the country is in better shape than it was 8 years ago.  Of course, not all of the problems we currently face were caused by W. and the people he surrounded himself with.  However, they did very little to mitigate the problems they faced, and in fact, created many new ones along the way.

With that said, it becomes easy to understand the significance of this night.  For the first time in many long years, the people of this country can begin to hope again.  I've started to realize over the past few months what a struggle it is for most people to simply survive on a day-to-day basis.  Some are forced to work long hours, take care of kids on their own, and are still expected to pay ever-increasing bills.  Those people now have hope.  Others are forced to deal with the consequences of not being able to afford health insurance, and aren't sure how they are going to cope with thousands of dollars of medical debt.  Those people now have hope.  Others still leave college with sometimes more than a hundred thousand dollars of debt, and will have to work well into their 40s to repay this debt.  Those people now have hope.  Now, Barack Obama is not going to solve every problem of all citizens of this country.  But at least he serves as a beacon that better days are on the horizon, and they will arrive soon.

For the first time in I can't tell you how long, I am proud to call myself an American.  I hope that the progress of this election continues for many years into the future, and we can one day live in a better world than the sometimes frightening one we live in today.  Congratulations President Obama, this country needs you.

P.S. - Kudos to John McCain.  He gave a very gracious, very inspiring concession speech.  He is a good man.

Pitt v. ND Evokes Odd Feelings

I spent a good portion of my Saturday afternoon watching the Pitt v. Notre Dame game.  For those of you who didn't see it, Pitt beat Notre Dame 36-33 in a 4 overtime game.  We came back from a 14 point halftime deficit, and drove for a game-tying touchdown in the final 2 minutes of the game.  Needless to say, it was a really great game, and I was glad I finally had the opportunity to sit down and catch a Pitt game.  We're bowl eligible for the first time since my freshman year, and a borderline Top 25 team.  Exciting time for Wanny's boys.

However, what really got to me about Saturday's game vs. ND was not the win or the exciting time for Pitt football.  I actually missed college for the first time since I left it 10 weeks ago.  I wondered for a while, "Did I really not miss anything about school in the first 2 and a half months I wasn't there?"  Then I realized, I've been so consumed with starting my new job, the CPA Exam, and the Phillies exciting run through the postseason, that I haven't had time to even think about school.  With things finally slowing down, I had the opportunity Saturday to remember some of the subtleties about school.  If this game occurred on any Saturday in the last 4 years, I would have been watching it in my room, ordered some pizza, celebrated the victory, and then went out to some random party in South O.  To be honest, this game really brought me back to freshman or sophomore year and the good times that I had then (ahh Kappa Sig parties).  Life seemed much simpler, and definitely more care-free.  The weekends were easy; do some homework, watch football, eat dinner, get drunk, and hang out with anyone you want to.  Sounds like a good life to me.

I'm sure there are lots of subtleties about college that I'm ignoring, and I wouldn't wanna live through again, like freshman year roommates, exams, and frat drama.  But I know there are also going to be plenty of days like Saturday, days where I wish I could go back to a different time, with different people, when life was more enjoyable.  I miss you Pitt.

Phillies Take a 2-1 Series Lead

This one is going to be short, sweet, and to the point.  Tonight was one of the most exciting, heart-wrenching, painful, and rewarding baseball games I have ever watched.  Our 45 year-old ageless wonder, Jamie Moyer (see right), pitched 6.1 gutsy innings of 3 run ball, and it would have been 7 innings of 1 run ball if it weren't for the incompetence of the umpiring crew.  No matter.  The Fightin' Phils continued to buck the trend of failing Philadelphia teams as they refused to lose this pivotal game 3 of the World Series.

Backup super utilityman, Eric Bruntlett, scored the game winning run on a Carlos Ruiz infield single with 5 defenders in the infield after a bizarre series of events led to the Phillies having the bases loaded with no outs.  Once Bruntlett safely crossed the plate, I literally went crazy.  I jumped onto Kanad, and a man of lesser stature would have fallen over from the force, but Kanad's frame was able to sustain my burst of energy.  I screamed like a madman and after 10 minutes, was a few seconds away from pure meltdown and hyperventilation.  For those of you who have seen me at a Thursday concert, imagine that, times 10.  Seriously, if there was a video of me after this win, it would be getting its fair share of hits on YouTube tonight.  This team is fucking incredible, and I can't believe what has transpired over the past month.  Absolutely incredible!

To close, I will share with you a quote from the ever-wise Joe Dopirak, who sent me this text during the 8th inning of the game tonight.  "I hope your mom has a tranquilizer."

Seriously, it wouldn't have come close to doing the job.

Song of the Day - T.I. featuring Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil' Wayne, and MIA - Swagger Like Us

The Phillies Are National League Champions!

2 quick messages before I knock out this blog post.  First off, I want to thank everyone who sent congratulatory texts and phone calls my way.  I really appreciate the support and it makes me feel like you all understand my passion for the Phillies.  Second, I apologize that this blog has had a ton of Phillies entries recently, but the blog is about my life, and right now my life is the Phillies.  Stick with it for 2 more weeks, and they won't be talked about until April.

Now, to get to the good stuff.  For those of you living under a rock, the Phillies won the National League Championship tonight.  They beat the heavily favored (according to the "experts") Dodgers 4-1 in a best of 7 series.  This victory secures them a trip to the World Series, which begins next week in Boston or Tampa Bay.  Let me break this down.  If you're reading this blog, it means you know me pretty well.  As such, you must have some understanding of what this means to me.

This NL Championship (AKA the "pennant") begins to validate a large part of my life for the past 5 or so years.  Yes that's right, I have not been a diehard Phillies fan my entire life.  I was always a Phillies fan, but nothing close to what I am today.  This passion caught on around my junior year of high school, and has grown every year since.  Anyway, after celebrating for a while with Kanad and my parents, I had a few minutes to myself to ponder what had just happened.  The Phillies had reached the World Series for the 6th time in team history, and only the 2nd time during my life.  To me, it means a little more than that though.  I thought about all the ups and downs that this team has taken me through, and trust me, there have been more than a few downs.  I remember Chase Utley's clutch home run off of John Smoltz during his rookie season that helped propel us to an improbable victory over the Braves.  I also thought about Chase's grand slam in 2005 that won the game against San Fran and announced to the world that he had arrived.  I remembered how I felt, watching the team clinch its first trip to the postseason last year, watching on a 4 inch screen on my computer, because I was in Pittsburgh and had just come back from UVA.  I remember the scene at the 2007 NL Division Series, and how excited I was to be at my first playoff game.  Quite the trip down memory lane.

However, I did say I thought of the ups and the downs, and they came into sharp focus as well.  I remembered the last day of the 2005 season, when the Phillies were eliminated from postseason contention by the Houston Astros, a team that dominated us during the regular season.  I thought about the end of the 2006 season, when I heard that the Phillies were eliminated by the Marlins while I was walking over the Clemente to catch a Bucs game.  I thought about the Phils game last season when Rod Barajas forgot how to block the plate, and cost Brett Myers 2 months of the season.  The pain runs deep with the Phillies, and they gave me more than my fair share over the past 5 years.

I really feel though, that all of the pain and suffering, combined with the good times, makes this all the more satisfying and exciting.  Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, and in this city, the sports teams, especially the Phillies, don't like to make things easy.  But through the pain and suffering, my team, our team, has emerged victorious, and is only 4 victories away from baseball's ultimate goal, a World Series Championship.  For those of you who don't know, the city has not won a major sports championship since 1983, which means that yours truly was not alive the last time Philly celebrated a parade down Broad St.  I've been dreaming about it my entire life, and the vision is becoming clearer by the day.  4 more wins, and I get every sports fan's ultimate experience, celebrating a championship.

I was in Pittsburgh when the Steelers won the Super Bowl in 2006.  Instead of joining the raucous crowd in celebration, I grabbed a vantage point from above, and watched in silence.  I knew that one day, I would be the one celebrating victory, the one who would enjoy the moment, the one who for a short period of time, could experience ultimate pride and joy.  Eventually our time will come Philly fans, I can only hope that it's about 2 weeks away.  Something tells me we're close.

Go Phillies!

Song of the Day:  Bill Conti - Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)

The Bus Stop

Do you all remember the day when you'd go to the bus stop, talk to all your neighborhood friends before the bus came, then hop on the bus and catch up with everyone else?  Those were good days, and hanging out at the bus stop was kinda fun.  I usually think of the Wonder Years' opening montage, when Kevin, Paul, and Winnie are all waiting for the bus everyday.

Anyway, I'm not writing this as a nostalgic piece on the wonders of the bus stop.  God knows I had enough miserable days getting up early to make it there on time.  The reason I'm writing this is because of what I saw on my way to work today.  I was driving through one of the local neighborhoods when I saw about 7 high school kids waiting for the bus.  Not one of those kids was talking to the other kids.  Complete and utter silence.  Keep in mind, these kids all must live with 500 feet of each other.  Yet while they all stand next to each other everyday for 10 minutes, they refuse to talk to each other.

It seems like I get a reminder everyday how as our society becomes more "connected" we become increasingly disconnected.  Tools like AIM, Facebook, Myspace, and text messaging have made it extremely easy for kids to communicate without really communicating.  We're raising a generation of kids who are going to have serious social issues.  Do kids even go outside to play anymore?  Or has Guitar Hero and the Internet made playing outside an obsolete activity?  Real human interaction, real human emotion, can only be truly seen and felt on a face-to-face, human-to-human level.  This generation, and possibly the next few generations, are or will be completely devoid of the full human experience for the first time since when, the Ice Age?  I shudder when thinking of the consequences.

The Phillies Have the Best Promotional Department in Baseball

Disclaimer:  If you aren't a baseball fan, don't read this post, because it will mean nothing to you.  If you are a big fan, you will find this hilarious.

I went to the Phillies Game 1 of the NLDS on Wednesday.  The game was fantastic.  The crowd was electric, Cole Hamels pitched amazing, and we won 3-1.  That's really all you need to know about what happened between the Phils and Brewers.  The most entertaining aspect of the game occurred after the 6th inning.

The Phillies always come up with quirky shit to do between innings involving the Phanatic and the other team and its city.  Every series against the Mets you can count on the Phanatic dancing to "New York, New York" by Sinatra and taking a sledgehammer to a Mets helmet.  So after the 6th inning, the Phillies announced that they would be holding a sausage race.  For those of you who don't know, the Brewers host a sausage race during every game, which is similar to the pierogy race in Pittsburgh.  Three guys emerged dressed in paper hot dogs suits, an obvious attempt at showing the ridiculous nature of the Milwaukee sausage race.  I was thinking to myself how corny this was, until the race actually started.

Sausage #1 ran about 15 feet before he decided to hit on one of the Phillies ballgirls.  It drew moderate laughs from the crowd, and the other 2 sausages (paper hot dogs) continued running around the outside of the field.  This is where it gets ridiculous.  An extremely fat black dude emerged from the Phillies dugout dressed in a Phillies jersey and black hat.  He was wielding a wiffle ball bat and smacked one of the sausages with it.  This should conjure up memories of the 2003 incident involving Randall Simon (see above), who was arrested and almost faced assault and battery charges for tapping a sausage with his bat from the Pirates dugout.  http://espn.go/com/mlb/news/2003/0709/1578808.html.  After a few seconds of confused laughter, Dan Baker, the Phillies PA Announcer said, "And o my, Randall Simon smacks Sausage #2 with his bat."  At the same time, Phan-a-Vision showed a close-up of the mysterious man from the dugout, who actually was Randall Simon, looking like he had gained about 50 pounds since his playing days.  He was wearing a Phillies jersey, and the black hat was actually a Buccos cap.  Yes, you viewed that correctly, the Phillies flew Randall Simon to Philadelphia for a promotional stunt in between innings of a playoff game.  Most members of the crowd (and people who will read this blog) didn't really understand the promotional stunt, but if you are a baseball nut like I am, and followed the fallout of the Simon incident in 2003, you have to give the Phillies promotional department props for coming up with this one.  I'll search for a video of it later and post if found.

The stunt ended with the Phanatic obliterating the last sausage and "winning" the sausage race.  But who really cares about that anyway?

The 2008 NL East Division Champs: One Hell of an Experience

On Saturday, the Phillies entered the day 2 games up on the Mets with 2 to play.  The Mets (with Johan on the hill) had a date with the Marlins at 1:10, and the Phils were scheduled to play the Nats at 3:55.  My parents and I decided that morning that if the Mets were in a position to win the game, we would go see the Phils because they could clinch their second consecutive NL East crown.  Last year, I watched it on a 3 inch box on my computer, so I wanted to see this one in person.  I also had tickets to Sunday's game, so I was going to see them clinch, one way or another.  With the Mets up 2-0 in the 8th inning and Johan in complete control of the fish, we took the short trip over the bridge to Citizens Bank Park.  We got to the park around 4, so I figured I would get a decent deal on scalped tickets (the game was very sold out.)

Apparently, lots of people had the same idea that we did, because a half inning into the game, tons of people were still scalping tickets and arriving to the ballpark.  I talked to about 10 scalpers while my parents were parking the car, all of whom were looking for $75/tickets (get the fuck out of here) and I was not paying it, especially 2 days before a Jewish holiday.  So I met this one "charming" gentleman, who was also asking for $225 for 3 tickets.  I told him I only had $130 (a complete lie) and he walked away.  I also mentioned that I didn't need 3 seats together and he started to perk up.  He asked me for $150 for 3 and I told him again I only had $130.  After a few more minutes of haggling, the price remained where I said, $130.  I went to pay him and realized I only had twenties.  So I gave him 7 and asked for change, to which he of course tried to jack the price up to $140.  "Come on man, gimme the tip.  It's only $10.  You know you should.  Come on!"  I told him "No" about 10 times and told him I needed the $10 to buy a beer.  That seemed to ring a chord with him and shut him up.  $130 for 3 lower level tickets to the possible clinching game of the season.  $111 face value.  I love scalping.  Especially when the scalpers tell me "This dude likes boys."  But that's another story for another time.

We file in to the game mid way through the second inning.  I send my parents down to the seats, and I decide I'm going to watch from the concourse.  The view is certainly good enough.  Not necessary this day though.  The 4 seats behind my parents were not taken.  I went down after the second inning, and was sitting in the 13th row down the left field line.  This day is going perfectly, we have to clinch today.

I won't bore you with the details of most of the rest of the game.  Jamie Moyer, old enough to be most of our fathers, pitched brilliantly, giving up 1 run that shouldn't have really happened.  The place was electric the entire game, and the energy in the ballpark was absolutely amazing.  I'm not gifted enough to be able to describe to you the feeling you get when 45,000 people are standing together, cheering for a common purpose, and willing their team toward victory.  It's one of the best experiences you can have.  However, the offense just could never put the game out of reach, and the Nats wound up "hanging around" as Teddy KGB likes to say.  Going into the 9th inning, the Phils had a 4-2 lead, thanks to an insurance run added on in the 8th inning.  So with 3 outs remaining, we gave the ball to our closer, Brad Lidge, who had saved only 40 of his 40 opportunities during the first 160 games of the 2008 regular season.

This 9th inning was not meant to be an easy one, as a quick strikeout preceded a single, walk, and another single to drive in a run.  With the top of the order coming up and Lidge clinging to a one run lead, my heart began churning.  I guess I would describe it by saying that if someone could put your chest in a vice and slowly turn it tighter, that was what I was experiencing during this 9th inning.  After another single loaded the bases, I was really starting to sweat.  Could Lidge really blow his first save during the most important win of the season?  With Ryan Zimmerman at the plate, anything was possible.  After a few pitches, Zimmerman stroked a solid ground ball up the middle.  Jimmy Rollins, our gold glove shortstop, dove to his left to stop the ball in the hole.  He tossed from his knees over to Utley standing at 2nd, who fired a strike over to 1st to turn a fantastic double play.  Just like that, heartburn over, game over, Phils are division champs!  I jumped around like a raving lunatic for a few minutes, hugged everyone in sight, and pretty much made a fool out of myself (I really wish this was on YouTube).  Then, I shared a victory beer with Ron, yes folks you saw that correctly, my father actually drank a beer.  Actually, he spilled half of it on my mom which was pretty damn hysterical, then he drank the beer.

For my $130 investment, I was sticking around to see the celebrations.  The celebration was pretty wild, but definitely more subdued from the previous year.  You could see that this was only the first step toward this team's goal of winning the World Series, a good sign that we wouldn't be looking at a 3 game sweep again in the first round.  They did the typical champagne and beer shaking and shooting all over the place, and this all confirmed that Brett Myers is a complete lush.  After a while, all the players came out on the field to celebrate with the fans.  I got to shake hands with Pat Burrell and Greg Golson (Phils rookie, future base stealer extraordinaire) which was a pretty cool experience.  I then leaned over onto the field and stole some dirt.  I'm not sure exactly what I plan on using it for or doing with it, but it seemed like something I needed to do at the time.  It must have been a pretty good idea also because I saw like 10 people in my section do the same thing right after I did it.  I know, always a trendsetter.

For all you Pittsburgh fans, I truly hope you get to experience this one day.  It's a great feeling, and you guys deserve it for all the shit you put up with year in and year out.  I'm still looking forward to the Keystone Series for the NL Pennant.  But that's like 20-30 years down the road, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Go Phils, make your city proud and go far in the playoffs.  I'll see you on Wednesday at Game 1.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Notorious B.I.G. featuring Bone Thugz - Notorious Thugz

The Obligatory Phillies Post

With everything going on in my life, you may have thought I forgot about my favorite hobby, the Philadelphia Fightin' Phils.  Of course, you would have thought wrong, because I never forget about the Phillies, especially when they play like they have of late.  This team seems to be peaking at the exact right time, led by the formidable duo of Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins.  Those 2 have come a long way since their appearance on that piece of shit sports talk show, whose name I am choosing to omit from this post.  Jimmy seems to be on base at least 3 times a game, and Howard has been mashing homers at a ridiculous pace for the last month or so.  When these 2 are ticking, we are nearly impossible to beat.

The most amazing part of this late season surge has been the consistency and reliability of their starting pitching.  Hamels, Myers, and Moyer have anchored a staff that has been tremendous down the stretch.  While Kendrick shit the bed and is now out of the rotation, and it should stay that way, Kentucky Joe Blanton and JA Happ always seem to step up when we really need a win.  They will serve as solid 4th and 5th starters as we reach the postseason.  Yes, I said it, we are going to reach the postseason, there is no doubt in my mind.  At the time of this post, we have a 1.5 game lead on the floundering Mets, and a 3 game cushion on the choke artist Brewers.  For those of you keeping track at home, we've picked up about 10 games on the Brew Crew in a little less than 3 weeks.  To add insult to injury, we also got their manager fired with 2 weeks left in the season.  Oops.

I think the NL Postseason is going to be the Phils, Cubs, and Dodgers, and the Mets rounding out the field with the Wild Card.  That would set up a Phils v. Dodgers series and a Cubs v. Mets series.  To be honest with you, I like how we match up against every single one of those teams.  The Mets have absolutely no 'pen, and this fact will become increasingly more obvious in those high-pressure postseason situations.  The Dodgers lineup is decent, and they've played good baseball down the stretch.  However, they will finish only about 8-10 games over .500 in the pathetic NL West, which doesn't impress me in the least.  I think we can tear through their pitching just like we did a few weeks ago in a 4 game sweep.  That brings us to the Cubs.  They have been the best team in the NL pretty much wire to wire, and they don't have too many weaknesses.  However, we split a 4 game series with them in Wrigley about a month ago that should have been a Phillies sweep.  Earlier in the season, we beat them 2-1 in a series that we also should have swept.  For whatever reason, we play the Cubs well, and I think we'd have a good time with them in the NLCS.  I'm not saying the Phillies will make the World Series (erection) but I am saying they have a very good shot with the way the matchups are turning out.

The Phillies biggest threat this postseason will be their bullpen.  You know you're going to get quality from at least the top 3 starters, and the hot bats should continue right into the postseason.  However, the pen has been suspect for the past 2 months, and we still have some problems in the 8th inning.  Chad Durbin has been terrible recently, JC Romero seems to have lost some of his luster, and you never know what you're going to get from Ryan Madson.  Also, while Lidge has still not blown a save this season (41 for 41 now), he has been shaky most times out, and seems to be due to blow a save.  Let's hope the first one doesn't come in the playoffs, or ever this season for that matter.  The key to this team's success is the pen, and if they can hold the leads, we're going to go far in the postseason.

I'm getting really excited for the playoffs, and I'm already figuring out ways to get off work if I happen to get tickets in the raffle this week.  It'll be sweet to be in town to feel the buzz this year, and I'm going to be there to see them off to the playoffs on Sunday.  Let's hope this year goes better than last year.  At least none of the 3 other teams will be going into the playoffs hot, and we actually will be the hottest team in the NL Playoffs this year.  Go Phils, let's finish out the last 6 games strong and carry that momentum into the playoffs!

Song of the Day:  Boyz II Men - Motownphilly