Sunday, January 18, 2009

Funny YouTube Videos

Since I'm completely depressed about the Eagles succumbing to the Arizona Cardinals and proving once again that they can't run a successful 2 minute drill, I decided to look up some of my favorite YouTube videos.  I'll share them with you now, and I hope you appreciate my version of humor.  Basically, people making asses out of themselves.

Grape Lady Falls
This video features a newscaster falling on her face while stomping grapes.  Listen to her reaction, absolutely classic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMS0O3kknvk

As an added bonus, check out the Family Guy spoof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETXJNHhwJeY

News Anchor Drops the F Bomb
What a crazy bitch.  She must be a delight to work for.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYAMDhVT50I

Soulja Girl
This girl is absolutely ridiculous.  I would love to have been on this train.  Props to the dude who added the subtitles.  And yes, she's yelling at an old lady.  Wow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-ApD5ckAts
Let me know what you think and if you have any other videos you'd like to share.  I'd appreciate it.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Oasis - I'm Outta Time

Monday, January 12, 2009

What do Big Ben and I Have in Common?


Both spent a night at Presbyterian Hospital aka "Presby" in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Ben Roethlisberger spent time in Presby when he suffered a spinal cord concussion during Week 17 in a meaningless game against the Browns.  Just 2 Decembers earlier, I spent a night, rather a morning, in Presby for a similar incident.  Let's call it an...alcohol concussion.  Surprisingly, the symptoms between myself and Big Ben are eerily similar.  After the shot, Big Ben couldn't feel his arms.  After the shots, I couldn't feel any of my limbs.  Big Ben's injury caused serious concern among the city of Pittsburgh.  My injury caused serious concern among...residents of the city of Pittsburgh.  The one distinguishing fact that separates Big Ben from myself?  Big Ben was carried to the ambulance on a stretcher, while I walked onto it under my own power.  Yup, Big Ben doesn't have shit on me.

- Kaps

See the link here:  http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3828762

Song of the Day:  Eminem - Stan

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Quick Update


Loyal Readers,

The posts have become quite scarce over the past month, and for that I apologize.  I promise, I haven't abandoned you, and I'm going to try to post a bit more frequently in the coming weeks.

Since the holidays ended, work has pretty much consumed my life from Monday morning until Friday night.  We're in a solid swing of getting in at 8AM and leaving at approximately the same time, on the PM side.  I'm not thrilled about it, and I'd rather not get home after 9 every night, but I'm coping with energy drinks and trips around the World Wide Web every 20 minutes or so at work.  It helps get me through the day.

I'm planning a trip to London at the beginning of March to visit my bro.  I'm extremely excited, and can't wait to get back across the pond.  It was great 2 years ago, and I'm sure it's gonna be a blast this time around.  How can it not be?  I'm actually making money this time and the exchange rate has improved from $2 to 1 pound to $1.50 to 1 pound.  Less than 8 weeks away, fantastic!

Other than that, I've been watching a ton of football on the weekends.  I have an eerie feeling that my hometown Birds and my collegiate Stillers are on a collision course for the Super Bowl.  Obviously, I'll be supporting the Eagles whole-heartedly, as I would any other Philly team.  However, I would enjoy nothing more than a "PA Turnpike" Bowl, and am supporting the Steelers up until the big game.  Speaking of a "PA Turnpike" Bowl, I have a great marketing idea for the event.  Since the Super Bowl takes place on February 1, and it will undoubtedly snow that weekend, PennDOT  should sponsor the Super Bowl.  As an added bonus, all football fans who get in accidents trying to arrive at their respective Super Bowl parties as a result of PennDOT's negligence will receive free Turnpike tolls for life.  If we get enough traffic on the roads, and we get a real heavy snowstorm, there's no reason that anyone should ever pay turnpike tolls again.  Such is the incompetence of our beloved PennDOT.

I'd like to write more, but my bed is calling me.  Trying to function on approximately 5 hours of sleep a night last week just wasn't a good idea, so I'm going to try to be a little more disciplined this week.  We'll see how long that lasts.  Have a good night everyone, and for those of you starting a new work week tomorrow morning, stay strong.

- Kaps

P.S. - To Scotty and any other Giants fans reading this blog:  It was a pleasure ending your season today, just like we ended the Cowboys' 2 weeks ago.  Enjoy the extended offseason.

Song of the Day:  Death Cab for Cutie - 20th Century Towers

Friday, January 2, 2009

Happy New Year - The Year That Was 2008


First off, Happy New Year to all the loyal readers of this blog.  If you read this blog, odds are you are one of the people I care most about in this world, and I wish you nothing but the best for 2009.  As I ushered in the new year on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, I took some time to think about the year that was 2008.  I thought about some of the highs and some of the lows, and my overall assessment is that 2008 was a pretty damn good year for me.  I witnessed some historic events, and accomplished some historic feats in my personal life as well.  I present to you a calendar timeline of my 2008.

January 1 - Welcome the new year in a very exciting fashion, sitting on my couch with Raj drinking Sam Adams Winter Lager.

January 7 - Begin my final semester at Pitt.  It was the best semester I had there.

January 11-13 - Neel, Kanad, Raj, and Heath come to visit Pittsburgh.  Hey, it only took 3.5 years, and I had only visited them a combined 12-15 times, but hey they made it.  90s party that weekend leads to many embarrassing moments.

February 8-10 - LEAD Buffalo.  What could be better than Chris Heinle, giant snowstorms, taking over the dance floor, Amy puking up half her vital organs, and lots of alcohol?  Not much, although I imagine Amy would argue that point.

March 1 - Rose Dance.  Good times.

March 7-12 - Spring Break in Clearwater, Florida.  Yes folks, I survived 20 hours in a car ride with Neel, and didn't kill him or myself...twice in one week.  I also got Neel his first lap dance and told a stripper she smelled nice about a dozen times.  But I'm not creepy or anything like that.

March 29 - Lupe Fiasco concert.  One of many fantastic concerts I will attend in 2008.

March 31 - Phillies Opening Day.  Brett Myers pitches like crap, Tom Gordon blows the game, and it rains all day.  Not the best start to the 2008 campaign.  Maybe things will end differently...

April 7 - Buccos Opening Day.  After missing the tailgate because of a Jay Sukits presentation, I get to PNC Park in just enough time to see the Bucs comeback from 7 runs down, only to lose the game in 15 innings.  Not the best start to the 2008 campaign.  Maybe this will end differently...o who the fuck am I kidding?  It's the Pirates, that's their MO.

April 9 - Wednesday.  Probably means I was with Casey at Hem's drinking $1 Blue Moons after Business Law.  Drunken deliciousness every Wednesday, made for quite a few interesting chapter meetings.

April 26 - Graduation from the University of Pittsburgh.  Pretty proud day for Mr. Kaplan.  Amazing speech by Akilah.  I also turned 22 this day, it's a shame no one really remembered, including me.

May 12 - Begin studying for the CPA Exam.  New routine of waking up at 7:30, getting to the library by 8:30, and studying until 5:00.  Yay!

May 21 - Champions League final, Chelsea v. Manchester United.  One of the greatest soccer matches I've ever seen ends in a shootout.  John Terry slips and blows a chance to make Cristiano Ronaldo the goat.  Instead, Man U. makes Terry pay for his error and wins the shootout 2 rounds later.   

May 31 - Graduation party.  A chance for my friends and family to realize what a completely rude, inconsiderate, obnoxious, immature, drunken asshole I am during the roast.  Thank you to everyone who participated, it was an amazing time.  Thank you even more for all of you from Pittsburgh who made the long drive to attend.  I appreciate it.  And then of course Banke, who drove 600 miles each way to be there.  Thank you so much.

July 3 - Take the Financial Section of the CPA Exam, my first section.  Nearly have a severe meltdown after finishing the exam when I think I failed.  Nothing I can do now except wait for the scores.

July 10 - Take the Audit Section of the CPA Exam.  This one isn't too bad.

July 11-13 - Neel and Raj make their second visit to Pittsburgh.  We take the not so long trek to Cleveland to see an Indians game.  As with any road trip I take, it monsoons during the drive up.

July 17 - Boyz II Men Concert.  Julie, Elise, Kanad, and I attend the 4th annual Boyz II Men concert in Atlantic City.  They get better every year.  And yes, Boyz II Men still tours, releases records, and is still alive.  You don't have to ask me that every single time I bring them up, got it world?

July 21 - Jury Duty.  One of the most ridiculous processes in our legal system.  I manage to avoid the 2-3 week trial.

July 28 - Phillies Phestival.  My favorite day of the year to spend boatloads of cash and come away with tons of Phillies merchandise and memorabilia.  And it benefits the fight against ALS.  Sounds good to me.

July 30 - Phils v. Nats in DC.  The new Washington Nationals Stadium is extremely disappointing, and has as much personality as the team does talent, zero.

August 4 - Radiohead Concert in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.  Wow.  The best concert I have ever attended.  Highlight of the night - dude proposing to his girlfriend while Thom Yorke spasms during Idioteque.  She says yes.

August 8-9 - New American Music Union Festival in Pittsburgh.  Believe it or not, this is my first festival type concert.  The Roots, Gnarls, Barkley, The Raconteurs, and Bob Dylan among many others.  A great show.

August 13 - Take the Business Section of the CPA Exam.  This one was easy.

August 16 - Last day in Pittsburgh.  Let's just make this simple, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye."

August 20 - Chase Utley Bobblehead night.  Chase Utley and Bobbleheads, what else could I ask for?

August 27-September 2 - Trip to Colorado.  During this week, I hiked up a 14,000 foot mountain, visited Coors Field, and spent many hours relaxing on a hammock.  This blog was born during this trip.  A great remedy to get my head straight before starting work the following week.

September 8 - My first day of work in "the real world."  We're only in training at this point, verdict is still out there.

September 16 - Rays v. Red Sox in Tampa.  I take the drive with a few of my co-workers to see the Rays play at the Trop.  Baseball is NOT meant to be played indoors.  Little did I know that I'd be seeing the Rays in a very important series in about a month...

September 19-21 - Return trip to Pittsburgh.  A great weekend doing the things I normally would do in the Steel City.

September 24 - Last day of training.  I don't know how much I'm gonna like this whole job thing...

September 27 - Phillies clinch the NL East in amazing fashion.  I'm there to witness it all, and I steal some dirt from the field during the celebration.  This celebration seems much different from last year's, and I can tell that big things are in the works for my Fightin' Phils.

October 1 - Phillies Game 1 vs. Milwaukee Brewers.  Cole Hamels pitches a phenomenal game in a slight rain, and looks simply unhittable.  The Phillies bring Randall Simon out to spoof his fiasco of 4 years ago.  The first of many Phillies playoff wins in 2008.

October 5 - Phillies win their first Postseason Series in 15 years.

October 14 - Phillies are National League Champions!

October 29 - Phillies are World Series Champions!  See previous blog post for more than enough details about this day.

October 31 - Phillies Parade down Broad St.  Also the day Chase Utley introduces the world to the phrase, "World Fucking Champions" on live, unedited TV.  Most people love it, some bible bangers and tightwads have a big problem with it.  Fuck them all.

November 4 - Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States.  What a historic, memorable night.  Maybe this country has some hope after all.

November 25 - Take the Regulation Section of the CPA Exam.  I don't think I studied enough for this one.

December 1 - Begin my project at a new client.  Not long after, I'm sure I no longer want to work at my current job.

December 11-14 - Finally make it back to Pittsburgh.  Another amazing weekend doing the same things I would normally do there.  I seriously have to think about moving back there.

December 17 - Find out I passed the Regulation Section of the CPA Exam.  It's finally over!  I'm done all 4 parts of the exam, and now only need to acquire my hours before I'm officially a CPA.

December 19 - Oasis concert with Chris and Brendan.  Oasis was very good, Ryan Adams was impressive as the opening act.

December 30 - Roots concert in AC.  Supplants the Radiohead show as the best I've ever seen.  The Roots play a 2.5 hour amazing set that goes past midnight, Pharoahe Monch and Dice Raw make guest appearances, Sweet Child O' Mine is covered, the band is accompanied by a full brass section including sousaphone, trumpet, trombone, and sax, and the band absolutely rocks the entire performance.  Wow.

December 31 - Ring in 2009 just like I did 2008, sitting on my couch with Raj.  This time we're drinking Flying Dog Pale Ale instead of Sam Adams Winter.  Let's hope 2009 is just as good or better than 2008.

Thanks to Apple's iCal for making this post possible.

The events mentioned above are just a sample of the highlights of 2008.  What really makes a year great are the little moments that occur in between the highlights, the things that might get ignored or forgotten, but are no doubt integral to your happiness.  I had thousands of those moments with all of you this year, and I am thankful for all of them.  You are all great friends, and I can't wait to spend as much of 2009 with you as possible.  Cheers!

Song of the Day:  Nas - One Mic