Slippin'

Today was not a good day. I didn't mess around and get a triple double and the Lakers certainly didn't beat the SuperSonics. It was a rough day in a rough week and I didn't do myself any favors by stressing over it. I've been so good about not letting work bother me, but today I fell back into bad habits. This was probably the first day this year I really let it get to me. I was pissed all day and it definitely showed. 

There is some good that came out of this though, as I recovered much quicker than normal. My mom's birthday is today (happy birthday Mom!) and it was great to spend some time with my parents. A nice meal at home followed by a few uplifting texts, and I was right back to my normal self. Finish it off with some writing to put things into perspective, and things don't seem so bad. 

I need to control my emotions and keep my stress level down, but at least I know I'm still in a good spot. Always need to remain vigilant just in case I slip further. Tomorrow will be better than today.

Kaps

Song of the Day: DMX - Slippin'

50 Days Later - What's Changed?

Neel gave me a good idea to post in this space an update on how things are going related to my post-Birthright experiences. Am I still keeping the promises I made to myself? Has anything changed? How is my mental state? Let's find out.


Weekly Shabbat - I'd give myself a C- in this area. I was really good for a few weeks after the trip. I took some time to myself, got my head on straight, and felt really good. Over the past month, this had been a bit more difficult as my schedule has gotten busier. I'm going to try to get back into this.

Work/life Balance - This is a tough one to judge. I've probably been working as many hours as I was before my trip. However, I've made a few changes that have helped to balance this out. Twice a week (usually on Mondays and Wednesdays) I've been going to the gym with a few of the guys on my team. No matter how much work I have, I leave before 7:30 and get a workout in. The gym is the one place I can go where I know I won't think about work at all. I've also been much better at managing my stress level. I don't let things at work bother me like they used to, and I let things roll off my back. I'm in a MUCH better mental place than I was at even 3 months ago. To me, this is a huge win.
Writing - My writing and Shabbat are somewhat inter-related. When I'm taking time to myself, I usually write. That's why you've seen a drop off the past few weeks in writing. I'm going to pick this back up as well, the entries just might be shorter.

Friends - I've done a pretty good job at keeping in touch with many of the people on my trip and have developed some really strong relationships with a few of them. We had a reunion a few weeks ago which was a great time. Really looking forward to seeing how this area develops over the next few months.

The "High" - Amazingly, I'm still on it. I feel so much better than I did a few months back. I came back on an extreme high when I returned from the trip, but it hasn't really faded since I worked back into real life. I'm not sure if it's a new state of mind, excitement over all of the changes coming in my life, or something else but I'm in a great place. Let's hope this continues for a while.
Being More Jewish - I haven't really had many opportunities other than the reunion last week, but there have been some changes in this arena. I've changed my diet since I returned, plan on observing Passover next month (if nothing else it's a break from carbs for 8 days), and am really excited about my cousin's Bar Mitzvah in April. I still feel the connection I established while in Israel, and think about it often. As I said from the beginning, that's the most important thing.

Overall, things are great but there's always room for improvement. I'll check in again in a few months on this topic.
Kaps

Song of the Day: Miguel - Sure Thing

Socially Awkward Penguin

Those of you who are familiar with memes or quickmeme.com may have heard of the Socially Awkward Penguin. What you may or may not know, is that I am the embodiment of the Socially Awkward Penguin (SAP from here on out because I'm too lazy to keep writing it out). Essentially, the SAP is a meme that details unfortunate situations (usually self-created) that a socially awkward person may get himself into. The penguin represents all of the people who may fit the socially awkward mold. As someone who has read hundreds (maybe thousands) of SAP memes, I can tell you that there are 2 types: external action and internal thought. The external action memes detail situations like, "Tell your friend they're going to land on their feet after an accident. Friend is in a wheelchair." The internal thought memes detail thoughts that may run through a socially awkward person's head, such as "Make a stupid comment at work. Spend the next 3 years replaying the situation in your head." When I think about why I am the SAP, it's because of these internal thought memes. If you run through the site, I've literally done almost all of the things listed on the memes. Sat next to a hot girl all semester and never said a word? Check. Dwelled on a stupid comment from high school and still think about it today? More than one. Said a joke that got an entire room to go silent? Been there, done that.

Up until recently, I was acutely aware of my SAP tendencies and did everything in my power to avoid them. Recently though, I've embraced my inner SAP and have begun to accept that some people are destined to be a SAP. I'm cool with that now. In fact, I think it's hilarious when I think back to the situations depicted in the memes and think about how many I've experienced. It proves that I'm not the only SAP out there.

Cheers to all the Socially Awkward Penguins out there in the world!

Enjoy the site everyone - don't say I didn't warn you that it will kill your productivity and may cause intense pain in your side from laughter.

www.quickmeme.com/Socially-Awkward-Penguin/

Kaps

Song of the Day: John Legend - Coming Home