Brett Favre...It's About Time

Never before has an athlete who played for teams I couldn't care less about (Packers and Jets) angered me as much as Brett Favre. Over the past 3 years, this prima donna has changed his mind about retirement more than a 16 year old girl changes her mind about which prom dress to buy. Every year, he announces his "retirement," which comes complete with a boatload of tears (see picture, right) and a speech about how much he'll miss the game. Undoubtedly, 5 months later, Favre will make his "glorious" return to football, but not before John Clayton and every other football analyst has spent hours upon hours contemplating Favre's return. After the first year, we all got really sick of it. After the second year, he was a laughing stock. Once the third year came around (this year), I think he generally incensed many people, yours truly included.

Why does Favre anger me so much, besides the hours I have to spend watching coverage of him throwing footballs to high school kids in Mississippi on SportsCenter? Let's see. He put his franchise of 15 years in a complete bind when he retired the second time, after they had passed the proverbial "keys" to the franchise to up and coming quarterback Aaron Rodgers. When Favre decided to come back, they had to an impossible decision to make. Either scrap their season plays to appease the face of their franchise and a man literally idolized by their fan base or release the "legend" and pretty much incense every person in Wisconsin. The Packers made the right call (in my mind) and traded Favre to the Jets, where he could continue his career without destroying their franchise. Of course, this was after a huge war of words through the media which polarized the fan base and probably caused permanent mental damage to Aaron Rodgers, who has pretty much been treated like a bastard step-child ever since he was drafted 20 spots lower than he was supposed to go.

After causing all this commotion, you would think Favre would have had enough. Wrong. He announced his retirement (again) after last season, and promised this would be it. Liar. He had shoulder surgery a few months back, and everyone knew it would be a matter of time before he attempted a comeback. During this time, the Minnesota Vikings had started a long and painful courtship with the former star, and seemed destined to sign him when he returned. The Minnesota Vikings fans were geared up, extremely excited that they were going to get an over-the-hill quarterback who went 1-4 down the stretch last year and threw enough interceptions to remind fans of Ryan Leaf-esque incompetence from 1999-2001. Over the last few weeks, everyone knew Favre would be returning...until he didn't.

Today, Brett Favre announced that he would not be returning to football, and that this was the hardest decision he had ever made (said that before). If you ask me, the Vikings are better off (Rosenfels is under-rated), Favre is better off (can stop destroying franchises), and the viewers of ESPN are certainly better off (can focus all of their energy on who is going to trade for Roy Halladay). I say, good riddance, Brett Favre. Peace. Siyonara. Good bye. Please don't think about announcing either, no one wants to hear what you have to say. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry

Twitter Has Gone Too Far

I must admit that over the past 6 months, I have been amazed at the power and influence Twitter has had on American society. In our never-ending quest for constant, instant communication, Twitter has become the next technology craze, following in the likes of Facebook, MySpace, and the ever-popular "whisper down the lane." Athletes are Twittering during games, politicians are updating us on their vacation plans, and people all over the country are "Tweeting" about the laundry machine that turned their whites into pinks.

Ever since Twitter was first introduced to the world, I've swayed between "I couldn't care less about Twitter" to "This shit is really starting to annoy me." Lately, I've been feeling much more of the latter. Now before I get into why, let me say that I absolutely see the value in Twitter. Athletes and other famous people can completely circumvent an increasingly biased media and their fans and supporters can "communicate" with them in ways never thought imaginable. Businesses can use the tool to advertise to their target market or differentiate themselves to their customers. And people like you and I can use the tool to stay connected to the athletes, celebrities, businesses, and friends we care about the most. Just because I'm losing my hair, doesn't mean I don't see the value in new technology.

Here's where I get annoyed. On Monday, ESPN broke a story that Steve Nash would be signing a 2 year $22 million extension with the Phoenix Suns. The article went on to say that the contract would be "formally announced through Steve Nash's personal Twitter page later that day." Does anyone else see the problem here? When did it become acceptable to formally announce anything in a forum that only allows for 150 characters or less? Shouldn't something like a $22 million extension to a future Hall of Fame point guard be announced through a press conference? Think about it, does Steve Nash even know he has a Twitter account, or is it managed by his agent/publicist? A little formality and personal participation goes a long way.

My complaint about Twitter as it relates to Steve Nash's contract is relatively minor. I really don't care all that much how the contract is announced, because ultimately, Steve Nash will be playing for the Suns for 2 more years, and that is what matters. In fact, Twitter often humors me, especially when it relates to athletes and celebrities posting completely embarrassing and unnecessary information about themselves. Finally, a way to learn how dumb some of these people actually are!

However, I do have a serious complaint about Twitter that I think does have some merit. My main gripe with Twitter goes back to something all of you have undoubtedly heard me mention many times before: As our society becomes more "connected" through "advanced" forms of communication, we become increasingly disconnected as a group of people. What is now a "Tweet" was once a text message, which was once an instant message, which was once a phone call, which ultimately used to be a face to face conversation.

Be very careful folks. One day soon you're going to wake up and wonder how we turned into a society incapable of communicating with each other face to face.

Of course, you'll all be calling me a hypocrite when I get my own Twitter account...which will not happen until I start my own business. Until then, I'll send and receive information through antiquated forms of communication like my mouth, my body language, and of course, my highly publicized blog.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Jay-Z - DOA (Death of Autotune)

Vote for VIC

Just in case you haven't done so yet, if you're a Phillies fan, VOTE FOR VICTORINO! He's one of the Final 5 players fighting for the 33rd spot on the NL All-Star roster. He's been flip-flopping with Pablo Sandoval over the past 2 days for the top spot, so every vote counts. If you have any doubts of why you should vote for Victorino, look no further than the brilliant marketing campaign he came up with (on his own, I might add) called "Vote Bran-Torino." In a genius move linking Banke's and my baseball interests, Victorino teamed up with Tigers 3rd baseman, Brandon Inge, who is fighting for the final spot in the AL race.

So "Vote Bran-Torino" as many times as you like until 4PM Thursday. Go Phils!

EPILOGUE: 10:10 PM - Shane Victorino just hit a walk off single to give the Phils a 3-2 win vs. the Reds.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: LL Cool J - Doin It

Late Night Quickie

Useless piece of information that I felt I needed to share with all of you. The Cincinnati Reds' pitching coach is named "Dick Pole." Let that stew for a minute.

Seriously? He couldn't go by Richard, Ricky, or his middle name (Henry)? Well, at least he provides me some humor 2-3 times a game during the 6-7 games we play the Reds each year.

Can anyone think of a better name than Dick Pole? It's quite a gargantuan task. Clearly, he wins the "Best Porn Name" post from a few weeks ago...and he doesn't even have to use the formula.

- Kaps

Epilogue: Michael Hunt is a sportswriter in Milwaukee.

Well, here's the answer to my question: Best Dirty Sports Names

And yes, I've fully digressed into a 10 year old, and I'm damn proud of it.

Song of the Day: NaS - One Mic

Destiny's Child's "Bugaboo" Showcases Rapid Change in Technology

Here comes another wacky music post.

The date: July 6, 1999. Destiny's Child releases "The Writing's on the Wall," the album will push them into superstar status. It featured such singles as "Bills, Bills, Bills" and the mega-hit, "Say My Name." Of course, one of the other singles off the album was "Bugaboo," a song detailing some of the more popular technologies of the day.

Needless to say, I was listening to the radio on my way home from work today, when "Bugaboo" came through the speakers. Sadly, hearing this song was actually refreshing, probably because I haven't heard it in about 9.5 years. As I was grooving to the bass-infused beat, I realized how ridiculous the chorus sounded. Let's break it down, line by line.

"You make me wanna throw my pager out the window..."

To be honest, I think pagers were out of style for everyone whose profession wasn't drug dealing by 1999. Even so, the ladies of DC felt the need to mention them in this song. Go ahead girls, throw your pagers out the window. No one uses them any more.

"...tell MCI to cut the phone calls..."

MCI, once the thorn in AT&T's side that sent them into a tailspin for the better part of the 2000s, was all the rage in 1999. Of course, their chairman, Bernie Ebbers, was overstating their revenues during this time and taking out personal loans from the company, but hey, who's counting? MCI is now a shell of its former self, and has been consumed by telecom giant, Verizon.

"...have AOL make my e-mails stop..."

I had AOL back in 1995, along with the rest of America. Then cable modems were introduced to the world, and people began to wise up and realize they didn't need to spend $24.95 for a dumb voice that said "You've Got Mail!" (although it did inspire that wonderful Tom Hanks movie). After a failed merger with Time Warner, AOL has now reformed as AOL LLC, and is a subsidiary of Time Warner. Do you know anyone who uses AOL anymore? If you do, are they over the age of 55? I thought so.

It's amazing how quickly things change when it comes to technology, especially when the accounting scandal era and tech bubble bursting is shoved in the middle of your time period. In 10 years, "Three Quarters Left" will re-visit this post and see how far technology has come.

In the meantime, I leave you with the 2009 version of Bugaboo:

"You make me wanna throw my iPhone out the window..."

"...tell Verizon to cut the phone calls..."

"...have HotMail make my e-mails stop..."

Well, some of us are still stuck in 1999.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Talib Kweli - Stand to the Side