The Year That Was: 26

As I sit here on the eve of my 27th birthday, I thought it would make sense to contemplate my "26" year before putting it in the rear view and looking forward to the future. Some of you may know that 26 is my lucky number. It's a family number, and I always think positively when I see the number 26. At this exact time last year, I was thinking, "I know next year is going to be a great year." I could not have been more spot on.

The year started out with a great deal of professional success - I was promoted to Manager at my firm and accepted much more responsibility on my project. Promotion to Manager hasn't come without its struggles. This job is extremely stressful, and the transition to Manager is probably the most difficult in the firm. However, it's been a blast throughout and I work with a wonderful team.

Over the summer, work slowed down a bit, and I was able to enjoy a couple of vacations. I spent a few days in Minneapolis taking in a Phillies game with Kanad and then spent almost a week in San Fran with my family. We hadn't taken a family vacation in almost 10 years, so it was great to get away with them and bond. I'll never forget my Dad getting drunk in the hotel room and then bowing to a Buddhist activist outside of our hotel. It was great just spending time with the for a few days, and who knows how many more times we'll get to do something like this as a family.

In September, I applied for and was accepted into the Birthright program, an experience that already has indelibly changed my life and will continue to do so for a very long time. If you've read this blog over the past 4 months, you definitely know how much this trip meant to me. It was the best 10 days of my life, and I still feel that way almost 4 months after my return. Trips like this come around once in a lifetime, and I'm extremely blessed to have taken advantage of it when I did.

What that trip gave me, besides a new perspective on life and a lifetime full of memories is a girlfriend. That's right, after way too many years (I won't even say how long), the guy who seemed to be destined for years of being single finally gave it up. I can't believe how short of a time it has been since Rachel and I met and how important she has become in my life. She's already met my crazy family and has actually seen my bobblehead collection and didn't run away so I think she's pretty special.

In between, there have been Phillies games, tailgates, parties, concerts, nights out at the bar, Sundays watching football, nights at the gym, and countless other memories. All of them have been amazing, and all because I got to share them with special people in my life.

I guess when I look back, the one thing I see consistently this year is change. I changed my outlook on life, I changed positions at my job, I saw many friends move away, and I decided to change cities. Change is supposed to be scary (it is) and change is supposed to be hard (it sometimes is), but change also forces you to become better than you thought you could be. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be moving to NYC in May 2013 I would have laughed in your face. But life happens, priorities change, and you alter our attack plan. I've learned to accept and thrive with change, and it has made me a happier person. Next year promises even more change, and I'm looking forward to all of it.

So goodbye 26, you were incredible. Hello 27, you have big shoes to fill. I hope you're up for the challenge - I think you can handle it.

Kaps

Song of the Day:

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said

The Post That Got Cut on the Editor's Floor

Note: Shortly after I returned home from Birthright, I was asked to draft an article describing my Birthright experience through a personal lens. The story was to be printed in a variety of Jewish publications as well as sent to prospective Birthright participants. After a few iterations and some back and forth with the editor, I was told the article didn't fit their needs. It might not be good enough for them, but I still wanted to share it with my readers. Enjoy.

How do you describe the best 10 days of your life? How do you put into words an experience which you know is changing your life as it's occurring? How do you commemorate something like that? I'm going to try.

Hi, my name is Jeff. I'm 26 years old, live in Philadelphia, and work as a management consultant for a professional services firm. I recently returned from my Birthright trip - the best 10 days of my life. I understand how bold of a statement that is, but it's absolutely true. Now before I go any further, I owe it to you to share a little of my background.

I grew up in South Jersey and experienced Judaism through what I would call a "normal Reform Jewish" upbringing. I started going to Sunday school when I was 8, got Bar Mitzvahed when I was 13, and pretty much stopped doing anything Jewish immediately after my Bar Mitzvah. My parents would even have to bribe me to go to Sunday school, "If you go the next 2 weeks, we'll let you skip the 3rd week!" By the time my 18th birthday rolled around, I don't even think I knew what Birthright was. As I went through my college years, I would hear from my Mom that this family friend or that family friend went on Birthright, and didn't pay much attention to it.

After I graduated college, I moved back to Philly and reconnected with a few of my Jewish friends here. Many of them had recently returned from their Birthright trips and urged me to go, telling me, "this trip will change your life." I dismissed them pretty quickly, and still didn't really consider going on the trip. It was only after 3 years of consistent urging, pleading, and maybe even begging that I began considering the trip. Eventually I submitted my application and thought, at the worst, it's a free trip to Israel. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for.

One of my close friends took the trip with IsraelFreeSpirit a few years back and strongly recommended the program. He told me that this trip was different than the rest of the Birthright trips as there is a focus on spirituality and learning about yourself. I wasn't that familiar with the sign up process, so I thought a recommendation from a friend was better than choosing at random. As I scoured the dates of the trips, I got a little nervous. I was looking for a trip that fit my age group and took place between Christmas and New Year's as that was the only time I could get off of work. Fellow consultants share my pain, I'm sure! The only trip scheduled during that time was the "Israel's Untold Story: Yours" trip, which was designed for media/communications students and professionals. Besides a blog that I hadn't updated in almost 3 years, I didn't have much experience or background in these areas. However, I figured I would give it a shot, and even planned to temporarily re-boot my blog to share my experiences on the trip.

Even as I took the train from Philly to New York City, I was apprehensive. "Am I going to get along with the people on this trip? Are they going to try to force their views on me for 10 days? Was this a mistake?" These were a few of the questions running through my head prior to the trip. Almost as soon as I got to the airport, most of my fears were washed away. I quickly realized that I would get along phenomenally with most of the people on the trip, even though we all came from different backgrounds and experiences.

Visiting all of the different landmarks, tourist sites, holy sites, and the rest of Israel is absolutely incredible. The country has so much to offer and is truly an amazing place. However, what sets this trip apart from just another vacation are the people you share it with. My trip mates and I frequently had intimate and deep conversations with each other. We shared our dreams, hopes, aspirations, and fears with each other. There was never any judging - only an understanding that we were all in this together and we wanted to see each other achieve happiness. I was blessed with an amazing group of trip mates.

As my friend mentioned to me prior to the trip, one of the focuses of the IsraelFreeSpirit trips is to help get its participants in touch with the spiritual side of Judaism. As a non-practicing Jew who hadn't done much of anything "Jewish" for the past 13 years, I was skeptical of how I would connect with this part of the trip. What I learned though, is that there is no "cookie cutter" way to practice or observe Judaism. Every individual can make the religion work for them and fit it into their own unique lives. The important thing is to feel a connection - with the people and with the community. When I came to this realization, and discovered that Judaism could enhance my life, rather than take away from it, I felt a surge of enthusiasm and a thirst to learn more.

Another unique aspect of my trip was the focus on media and communications. There was no shortage of media based activities as we visited multiple radio stations, a newspaper, blog headquarters, the army's communications wing, and were even given time to write on our own. Visiting all of these different outlets gave me an opportunity to experience Israel through a variety of lenses and allowed our group a different perspective than other Birthright groups. I felt a deeper connection because of these opportunities, and am thankful that I was able to meet people from such a wide variety of backgrounds.

I think almost everyone on the trip has "a moment" - a point at which you feel something intense that you don't experience in normal life or come to a realization that changes your outlook on life. My "moment" happened at Mt. Herzl, the Israeli National Cemetery and Memorial. Our group was walking through the cemetery and our tour guide took us to the grave of Michael Levin, an American who made aliyah to Israel shortly after he graduated high school. Michael grew up right outside of Philadelphia, just like me. He also grew up a huge Philadelphia sports fan, just like me. Tragically, Michael lost his life defending Israel in the Lebanon conflict of 2006. He was just 22 years old. When you see his stone, you see it covered in Philadelphia sports paraphernalia - Phillies hats, Eagles shirts, and Flyers logos everywhere. After hearing the story of his funeral and how thousands of Israelis showed up even though Michael didn't know many people in Israel, I was overcome with emotion. Here was someone not very different from myself, who was embraced by a country he had only adopted as his own not long before. This is when I felt the connection to Israel and realized that it truly is the Jewish Homeland.

While I was extremely upset to leave Israel - it was the best 10 days of my life - I was also excited to return home (only my mother was more excited for me to return). I now have so much to explore and learn, about the religion, the people, and my own spirituality. I tend to live life at a million miles an hour, and don't frequently take much time to myself. I now realize that I need to take my own personal Shabbat on a weekly basis to stay grounded and become a better person. I also came home a much more confident person, feeling more fulfilled than I ever had before. I'm going to keep my blog going, as I rediscovered my passion for writing and expressing my emotions on paper. And most importantly, I returned with 42 new friends (7 of them Israeli) with whom I shared this amazing experience. Some of us will be lifelong friends, and I'm so excited for us to be a part of each other's lives going forward.

When I think back on my Birthright experience, I will always remember with a smile the best 10 days of my life. However, the best part of Birthright is that those 10 days set in motion a future filled with endless possibilities, where I will have the opportunity to learn more about myself and the Jewish people than I ever thought possible. What an incredible gift. I am so thankful.

Bar Mitzvah Weekend

I spent most of the last weekend at my cousin's Bar Mitzvah and related activities. Lots of family in from out of town, lots of stressed Mom, and lots to do. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of these large family events, as the small talk tends to bore me and feels forced with half the people you meet. Things were much different this weekend and I really enjoyed the time spent with my extended family, even beyond the affair. 

I guess I'm growing up or maybe I just have a different perspective now, because I have come to appreciate the older people in my family and what they have to offer. I love hearing stories about my great-grandparents, distant aunts and uncles, and cousins. The connection to my past is special for me, and gives me much more of an appreciation for where I come from and the values I hold dear. If I don't hear these stories now, they may pass away with this generation, so I basically was a sponge the entire weekend listening to everything I could possibly remember.

Beyond that, I thought quite a bit about my grandparents who are no longer with us to celebrate joyous occasions like a Bar Mitzvah. They were and still are such an important part of my life, and every occasion like this one is bittersweet knowing they aren't here to join us. As we move forward, their spirit is still very much alive in all of us.

We laughed, we cried, and we thought about the past and also the future. I think it looks bright. All in all a great weekend.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Lumineers - Stubborn Love