Merry Christmas

I love Christmas. Let me repeat, I LOVE Christmas. I know it might be weird for me to say that as a Jew but it really is one of my favorite days of the year. It goes beyond the decorations and the gifts (even though I do love my tree). On this day, I really feel the spirit of the holiday and connecting with friends and family. Whether it's in person or through a quick text or phone call, those connections are so vital. We don't tell each other nearly enough that we love each other and how important and meaningful our relationships are, and I feel that this holiday gives us the chance to do that. 

One phone call, one text can make the difference between someone feeling loved or alone for the holidays, and no one should feel alone on a day like today. We all have so much to be thankful for, so reach out and say something nice to someone you care about. You have no idea how powerful that message might be.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone!

Kaps

Song of the Day: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Vacation Report Card

When I started the vacation 2 weeks ago, I set some goals for myself. About 65% of the way through the vacation, I thought it would make sense to assess my performance against those goals. (After reading the last sentence, I guess that you can take the consultant out of the office, but you can't take the office out of the consultant).

The 5 goals I set were:
1. Find an apartment
2. Relax
3. Work out
4. Eat healthy
5. Write

The first and most important goal has been hanging over this vacation like a black cloud. If you've ever hunted for an apartment in NYC, you'll know why. If you never have, I wouldn't recommend it - it's a nightmare. The process started off smoothly enough with me searching around the city for neighborhoods where I want to live. After 2 days and a lot of miles, I narrowed down to a few neighborhoods. What I didn't consider was how expensive these areas are. I knew finding an apartment in NYC would be expensive, I had no idea it would be THIS expensive. I've made some progress, but every day seems like I give up more and more of what I want. I can't wait until this process is over.

Grade: C-

When it comes to relaxing, I've done a good but not great job here. Puerto Rico really helped in this regard and I was able to relax by the pool, the beach, and at the spa. In NYC, it has been a little tougher with the apartment search constantly in the back of my head.

Grade: B-

The one area I've done better than any other over this vacation is working out. This is day 12 of the vacation and I've been to the gym 9 times. I feel and look great, and just in time for the summer as well. I'll deduct a few points since I tweaked my shoulder and probably could have gone harder in a few of the workouts.

Grade: A-

Eating healthy is always a dangerous proposition on vacation. Half of you wants to eat healthy since you have the time to cook and make good choices. The other half says, I'm on vacation - enjoy the good life while you can. I think I've found a happy medium eating healthy during the week and not worrying about much on the weekends when I'm away. It's probably good I'm writing this before I get to New Orleans, not after, or the grade would differ drastically.

Grade: B+

I started off the trip very prolific and have begun to slack this week with my writing. However, there's only 1 post I really want to write that I haven't, and since things have been slow the past week, there hasn't been too much to write about. The next week will probably be slow too as I'm getting busier the next few days.

Grade: B+

Overall, it has been a pretty solid vacation with definite room for improvement. Good thing I still have about 1/3 of it left to make some improvements. If I can get my apartment situation figured out before it's over, I'm giving it an A. If I can't...let's not think about that. Off to New Orleans we go!

Kaps

Song of the Day: Lil' Wayne - A Milli

The Vacation Chronicles - Day 6

The vacation is really kicking into full gear now. This afternoon Rachel and I got a massage at the Ritz-Carlton. The massage was phenomenal and the service was even better. You truly felt like royalty the entire time you were at the spa. When we finally left after almost 3 hours, we took advantage of the hotel's beautiful beach - palm trees, sand, sun, and perfect weather. I didn't even care that the $16 beach drinks were watered down, it's just a pleasure to be here. Isla Verde is the place to be. I haven't been this relaxed in months. It's a great feeling.

After the beach, we enjoyed a meal outside - perfect weather with a nice cool breeze coming off the bay. Then we hit a salsa club - the Nuyorican Cafe (thanks Vivien!) which had a few live bands playing fun salsa music. Some of the locals were incredible dancers. Me - not so much, but I gave it a shot and we had a blast.

I'm starting to forget what day it is. Life is good.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Pitbull - Don't Stop the Party

The Value of Parents - A Belated Mother's Day Post

I did some reflecting over the past few weeks about my parents. I'm getting to the age where all of the things my parents taught me over the years are really starting to click. You grow up with your parents for years and they always say, "One day you'll understand." That day has arrived. It's not just the foundational things like treating others with respect and the value of hard work, but what I've really come to appreciate recently are the subtle things my parents have taught me. For years my Dad has told me lessons about how he has succeeded in business even when his skills/knowledge may not have been where they needed to be in certain situations. I find myself applying those lessons over and over on a daily basis. My Mom, just by her presence, has taught me how to be caring and appreciate the small gifts in life. I could go on and on, but I'll keep it short (just this once!).

These are lessons that will stick with me through the rest of my life and will shape who I am as I grow into a more mature adult. I'm so grateful to have my parents and all they have done and continue to do for me.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Muse - Panic Station

The Vacation Chronicles - Day 4

Yesterday was a bad day. I fell back into a bad habit where I have a serious problem disconnecting from my work habits while on vacation. Problem has been rectified and we're moving on. Thankfully, Rachel was with me to help me get through it.

Today was much better. I came back to Philly and got some packing done, made some headway in the apartment search, and got to go to Phillies Phestival, one of my favorite events of the year. Am I getting too old for this event? That probably happened about 5 years ago. I don't care it's still a great day I get to spend with my parents and that's what matters. It also didn't hurt that I scored Roy Halladay's autograph.

I'm currently on my way back to NYC and then off to Puerto Rico tomorrow morning. Can't wait to get some time to relax!

Kaps

Song of the Day: The Postal Service - Clark Gable

The Vacation Chronicles - Day 3

I spent most of the last 48 hours exploring the city and all of its unique neighborhoods. I decided to approach my search the same way I did Philly - search the neighborhoods, determine where I want to live, and then start hunting in that area(s). It's a much more manageable way to find a place to live. Over the last few days, I've checked out Upper East, Midtown, Gramercy, Murray Hill, Stuy Town, East Village, Greenwich Village, SoHo, the Bowery, Williamsburg, and Astoria - at least no one can say I didn't do my homework! I probably walked about 10 miles each day - combined with the gym workouts Monday and Tuesday, my body is beat up. Definitely looking forward to that massage in Puerto Rico on Saturday.

After all the searching, I found many neighborhoods I liked (Greenwich and Williamsburg), and many I didn't like (Upper East and SoHo). The overwhelming favorite right now is Greenwich Village. I love the location (near many of my favorite spots like Union Square, SoHo, and Washington Square Park with great access to many subway lines), the neighborhood (lots of bars and restaurants), the uniqueness, and the vibe. Now I just need to find an apartment in my price range. I'm going to start looking at no fee apartments (brokers typically charge 15% to buyers in NYC - yes, you read that right) and see what I can find. If that doesn't work. I'll be grabbing the services of a broker and biting the bullet. The search starts today and I'm sure it will be an eye opening experience (goodbye 1380 square ft apartment!). I feel much better about my search now that I've narrowed things down and limited the scope because this whole process can be daunting.

For now, I'm going to take most of the afternoon "off" and watch the Phillies game at a Philly sports bar. This is a vacation, need to remember that every once in a while.

Kaps

PS - learning very quickly how productive subway time can be (when they aren't packed).

Song of the Day: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sacrilege

The Vacation Chronicles - Day 1

The vacation officially kicked off today, and damn it feels good. I slept until 9:00 this morning, which is the first time that's happened (weekends included) since maybe January. I then took my time getting ready to attack the day. I set a list of goals for myself last night, and one of them was "Relax." Really descriptive, I know, but I need to make sure I take some time for myself the next 3 weeks. I could easily get caught up trying to figure out where I want to live, finding an apartment, and figuring out where life is going to take me over the next few months. I promised myself that while all of those things are important and need to get done, so is my mental health. With that point in mind, I also promised myself I would make the next 3 weeks feel as different from my normal life as possible - I'm going to eat different foods, not be on a schedule all the time, try new things and definitely NOT think about work. So far so good, as it's just after 12 and I'm finally leaving Queens to start the neighborhood search. I took a little detour onto Steinway St. to do some shopping, and it took longer than expected. Things are looking different already!

Kaps

Song of the Day: Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Home

The Eve of Change

It's the morning before my whole life changes and I'm feeling a bit restless. Today is my last day full time on my client. I've been working on this particular workstream for almost 2 years and this client for 3.5. It has become such a normal part of my life that it seems like lifetimes since I worked on anything else. This weekend, I'll have a going away party. On Sunday, I'll leave for NYC and things will never be the same. Whoa.

Since I've always been obsessed with rankings and the magnitude of things, I have been wondering if this is the biggest change I've ever undertaken in my life. It's between this, leaving for college, and coming home from college to start working. I can't say I'd give this the number one spot since I'm technically not changing jobs and I'm only moving 90 miles away, but it sure seems like a heavy amount of change. 

It's definitely going to be hard to say goodbye to Philly. I've had so many great memories over the last 5 years here. Especially knowing my brother is moving back here pretty much at the same time I'm leaving makes this tough. Luckily, I'm going to be coming back for work 2 days a week at least for a few months, so that should help me ease into the transition.

People keep asking - do you think you'll ever move back? I like to think I will, but I'm certainly aware of the possibility I don't return. Eventually, the insanely high cost of living in NYC may catch up to me, but right now, I'm just excited for something new. We'll worry about the long-term future later.

Right now, more than anything, I'm excited for a vacation. I'm thoroughly worn out and I need a break. I've been moving at warp speed for quite some time now, and it has definitely caught up to me. The energy I had when I returned from Israel is pretty much gone, and it's time to recharge the batteries. Hopefully, after 3 weeks I will feel refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on the world - assuming looking for an apartment in NYC doesn't kill me. At least I don't have any more hair to lose.

Time to get to work. It's the last day before a big change - no time to slack off now.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Zach Sobiech - Clouds

The Year That Was: 26

As I sit here on the eve of my 27th birthday, I thought it would make sense to contemplate my "26" year before putting it in the rear view and looking forward to the future. Some of you may know that 26 is my lucky number. It's a family number, and I always think positively when I see the number 26. At this exact time last year, I was thinking, "I know next year is going to be a great year." I could not have been more spot on.

The year started out with a great deal of professional success - I was promoted to Manager at my firm and accepted much more responsibility on my project. Promotion to Manager hasn't come without its struggles. This job is extremely stressful, and the transition to Manager is probably the most difficult in the firm. However, it's been a blast throughout and I work with a wonderful team.

Over the summer, work slowed down a bit, and I was able to enjoy a couple of vacations. I spent a few days in Minneapolis taking in a Phillies game with Kanad and then spent almost a week in San Fran with my family. We hadn't taken a family vacation in almost 10 years, so it was great to get away with them and bond. I'll never forget my Dad getting drunk in the hotel room and then bowing to a Buddhist activist outside of our hotel. It was great just spending time with the for a few days, and who knows how many more times we'll get to do something like this as a family.

In September, I applied for and was accepted into the Birthright program, an experience that already has indelibly changed my life and will continue to do so for a very long time. If you've read this blog over the past 4 months, you definitely know how much this trip meant to me. It was the best 10 days of my life, and I still feel that way almost 4 months after my return. Trips like this come around once in a lifetime, and I'm extremely blessed to have taken advantage of it when I did.

What that trip gave me, besides a new perspective on life and a lifetime full of memories is a girlfriend. That's right, after way too many years (I won't even say how long), the guy who seemed to be destined for years of being single finally gave it up. I can't believe how short of a time it has been since Rachel and I met and how important she has become in my life. She's already met my crazy family and has actually seen my bobblehead collection and didn't run away so I think she's pretty special.

In between, there have been Phillies games, tailgates, parties, concerts, nights out at the bar, Sundays watching football, nights at the gym, and countless other memories. All of them have been amazing, and all because I got to share them with special people in my life.

I guess when I look back, the one thing I see consistently this year is change. I changed my outlook on life, I changed positions at my job, I saw many friends move away, and I decided to change cities. Change is supposed to be scary (it is) and change is supposed to be hard (it sometimes is), but change also forces you to become better than you thought you could be. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be moving to NYC in May 2013 I would have laughed in your face. But life happens, priorities change, and you alter our attack plan. I've learned to accept and thrive with change, and it has made me a happier person. Next year promises even more change, and I'm looking forward to all of it.

So goodbye 26, you were incredible. Hello 27, you have big shoes to fill. I hope you're up for the challenge - I think you can handle it.

Kaps

Song of the Day:

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said

The Post That Got Cut on the Editor's Floor

Note: Shortly after I returned home from Birthright, I was asked to draft an article describing my Birthright experience through a personal lens. The story was to be printed in a variety of Jewish publications as well as sent to prospective Birthright participants. After a few iterations and some back and forth with the editor, I was told the article didn't fit their needs. It might not be good enough for them, but I still wanted to share it with my readers. Enjoy.

How do you describe the best 10 days of your life? How do you put into words an experience which you know is changing your life as it's occurring? How do you commemorate something like that? I'm going to try.

Hi, my name is Jeff. I'm 26 years old, live in Philadelphia, and work as a management consultant for a professional services firm. I recently returned from my Birthright trip - the best 10 days of my life. I understand how bold of a statement that is, but it's absolutely true. Now before I go any further, I owe it to you to share a little of my background.

I grew up in South Jersey and experienced Judaism through what I would call a "normal Reform Jewish" upbringing. I started going to Sunday school when I was 8, got Bar Mitzvahed when I was 13, and pretty much stopped doing anything Jewish immediately after my Bar Mitzvah. My parents would even have to bribe me to go to Sunday school, "If you go the next 2 weeks, we'll let you skip the 3rd week!" By the time my 18th birthday rolled around, I don't even think I knew what Birthright was. As I went through my college years, I would hear from my Mom that this family friend or that family friend went on Birthright, and didn't pay much attention to it.

After I graduated college, I moved back to Philly and reconnected with a few of my Jewish friends here. Many of them had recently returned from their Birthright trips and urged me to go, telling me, "this trip will change your life." I dismissed them pretty quickly, and still didn't really consider going on the trip. It was only after 3 years of consistent urging, pleading, and maybe even begging that I began considering the trip. Eventually I submitted my application and thought, at the worst, it's a free trip to Israel. I had absolutely no idea what I was in for.

One of my close friends took the trip with IsraelFreeSpirit a few years back and strongly recommended the program. He told me that this trip was different than the rest of the Birthright trips as there is a focus on spirituality and learning about yourself. I wasn't that familiar with the sign up process, so I thought a recommendation from a friend was better than choosing at random. As I scoured the dates of the trips, I got a little nervous. I was looking for a trip that fit my age group and took place between Christmas and New Year's as that was the only time I could get off of work. Fellow consultants share my pain, I'm sure! The only trip scheduled during that time was the "Israel's Untold Story: Yours" trip, which was designed for media/communications students and professionals. Besides a blog that I hadn't updated in almost 3 years, I didn't have much experience or background in these areas. However, I figured I would give it a shot, and even planned to temporarily re-boot my blog to share my experiences on the trip.

Even as I took the train from Philly to New York City, I was apprehensive. "Am I going to get along with the people on this trip? Are they going to try to force their views on me for 10 days? Was this a mistake?" These were a few of the questions running through my head prior to the trip. Almost as soon as I got to the airport, most of my fears were washed away. I quickly realized that I would get along phenomenally with most of the people on the trip, even though we all came from different backgrounds and experiences.

Visiting all of the different landmarks, tourist sites, holy sites, and the rest of Israel is absolutely incredible. The country has so much to offer and is truly an amazing place. However, what sets this trip apart from just another vacation are the people you share it with. My trip mates and I frequently had intimate and deep conversations with each other. We shared our dreams, hopes, aspirations, and fears with each other. There was never any judging - only an understanding that we were all in this together and we wanted to see each other achieve happiness. I was blessed with an amazing group of trip mates.

As my friend mentioned to me prior to the trip, one of the focuses of the IsraelFreeSpirit trips is to help get its participants in touch with the spiritual side of Judaism. As a non-practicing Jew who hadn't done much of anything "Jewish" for the past 13 years, I was skeptical of how I would connect with this part of the trip. What I learned though, is that there is no "cookie cutter" way to practice or observe Judaism. Every individual can make the religion work for them and fit it into their own unique lives. The important thing is to feel a connection - with the people and with the community. When I came to this realization, and discovered that Judaism could enhance my life, rather than take away from it, I felt a surge of enthusiasm and a thirst to learn more.

Another unique aspect of my trip was the focus on media and communications. There was no shortage of media based activities as we visited multiple radio stations, a newspaper, blog headquarters, the army's communications wing, and were even given time to write on our own. Visiting all of these different outlets gave me an opportunity to experience Israel through a variety of lenses and allowed our group a different perspective than other Birthright groups. I felt a deeper connection because of these opportunities, and am thankful that I was able to meet people from such a wide variety of backgrounds.

I think almost everyone on the trip has "a moment" - a point at which you feel something intense that you don't experience in normal life or come to a realization that changes your outlook on life. My "moment" happened at Mt. Herzl, the Israeli National Cemetery and Memorial. Our group was walking through the cemetery and our tour guide took us to the grave of Michael Levin, an American who made aliyah to Israel shortly after he graduated high school. Michael grew up right outside of Philadelphia, just like me. He also grew up a huge Philadelphia sports fan, just like me. Tragically, Michael lost his life defending Israel in the Lebanon conflict of 2006. He was just 22 years old. When you see his stone, you see it covered in Philadelphia sports paraphernalia - Phillies hats, Eagles shirts, and Flyers logos everywhere. After hearing the story of his funeral and how thousands of Israelis showed up even though Michael didn't know many people in Israel, I was overcome with emotion. Here was someone not very different from myself, who was embraced by a country he had only adopted as his own not long before. This is when I felt the connection to Israel and realized that it truly is the Jewish Homeland.

While I was extremely upset to leave Israel - it was the best 10 days of my life - I was also excited to return home (only my mother was more excited for me to return). I now have so much to explore and learn, about the religion, the people, and my own spirituality. I tend to live life at a million miles an hour, and don't frequently take much time to myself. I now realize that I need to take my own personal Shabbat on a weekly basis to stay grounded and become a better person. I also came home a much more confident person, feeling more fulfilled than I ever had before. I'm going to keep my blog going, as I rediscovered my passion for writing and expressing my emotions on paper. And most importantly, I returned with 42 new friends (7 of them Israeli) with whom I shared this amazing experience. Some of us will be lifelong friends, and I'm so excited for us to be a part of each other's lives going forward.

When I think back on my Birthright experience, I will always remember with a smile the best 10 days of my life. However, the best part of Birthright is that those 10 days set in motion a future filled with endless possibilities, where I will have the opportunity to learn more about myself and the Jewish people than I ever thought possible. What an incredible gift. I am so thankful.

Bar Mitzvah Weekend

I spent most of the last weekend at my cousin's Bar Mitzvah and related activities. Lots of family in from out of town, lots of stressed Mom, and lots to do. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of these large family events, as the small talk tends to bore me and feels forced with half the people you meet. Things were much different this weekend and I really enjoyed the time spent with my extended family, even beyond the affair. 

I guess I'm growing up or maybe I just have a different perspective now, because I have come to appreciate the older people in my family and what they have to offer. I love hearing stories about my great-grandparents, distant aunts and uncles, and cousins. The connection to my past is special for me, and gives me much more of an appreciation for where I come from and the values I hold dear. If I don't hear these stories now, they may pass away with this generation, so I basically was a sponge the entire weekend listening to everything I could possibly remember.

Beyond that, I thought quite a bit about my grandparents who are no longer with us to celebrate joyous occasions like a Bar Mitzvah. They were and still are such an important part of my life, and every occasion like this one is bittersweet knowing they aren't here to join us. As we move forward, their spirit is still very much alive in all of us.

We laughed, we cried, and we thought about the past and also the future. I think it looks bright. All in all a great weekend.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Lumineers - Stubborn Love

Legacy

This morning I woke up early and went out to visit my grandparents. They're buried at King David Cemetery in Bensalem. It's probably the place I feel most at peace. The cemetery is set back towards the woods, it's quiet, and there are never any disturbances. It's a serene place and I get some of my best thinking done there.

When I went out this morning, I couldn't help but think about all the things I wanted to tell my grandparents. Until the day they died, I would always call my grandparents whenever anything good or exciting was happening in my life. It didn't matter it was as simple as getting a good grade on my report card or the day I told them I got into college, they were always ecstatic and loved to hear about what was happening in my life. With so much change and so many positive things happening in my life, I long for the days when I could pick up the phone or take the short 10 minute drive over to their house.

My grandparents have made such an enormous impact on my life, and the lessons they taught me I carry with me to this day and will forever. Instead of being able to tell them about my life, I try to honor them by living each day in a way that would make them proud. Sometimes I come up short, but I know if I strive to reach that goal everyday, I will be a better person in the long run.

I also thought quite a bit about legacy while I was at the cemetery today. Not only did my grandparents teach me so much of what I know about life, but they also gave me a name. Today was the first time I looked at their stone, and really focused in on "Kaplan." That's my name on that stone, and it's an honor and a responsibility to carry that name forward in a positive manner.

One day, hopefully long into the future, I'm going to be buried in that cemetery. My name, first and last, will be on a stone. It is my hope, my wish, that one day, my grandchildren will come and visit that stone, and remember all the things I taught them about life and proudly carry on our name. If that day arrives, my time on this earth will have been worthwhile, and my own grandparents' legacy will live on. 

Kaps

Luther Vandross - Dance with My Father

The Insomniac Post

It's 3:35am on a Saturday morning and I can't sleep. I was just out for a night of drinking, passed out way too early, and my body is having a great time fucking with me...but I'm having a moment of clarity. It's a really odd feeling, but everything seems very clear to me right now. Priorities, what's truly important in life - they're right in front of my face. It's not that I'm thinking about things differently or that my priorities have changed, they just seem to be confirmed and I'm feeling them deeper right now.

All the stress I put myself through at work - useless. It's going to kill me and it doesn't do anyone any good. I had a new team member tell me yesterday, "I've never seen you look so calm on a Friday." If I normally look stressed on a Friday, I don't even want to know what I look like the rest of the week. Instead, I need to focus on people - the relationships. In all aspects of life, those are the most important. The impact you can have on another person (both good and bad) can be so profound, and those interactions need to be maximized to provide as many positive outcomes as possible.

So what's really important? Smiling. Laughing. Living for the moment. Making people feel good about themselves. When I look back years from now, those will be the things I remember, not the stress and grind of the day to day. 

I realize this is a rambling mess and a hangover is starting to kick in so I need to go back to bed. I needed to get this down on paper, because these moments don't come around very often.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Jay-Z - Moment of Clarity

Slippin'

Today was not a good day. I didn't mess around and get a triple double and the Lakers certainly didn't beat the SuperSonics. It was a rough day in a rough week and I didn't do myself any favors by stressing over it. I've been so good about not letting work bother me, but today I fell back into bad habits. This was probably the first day this year I really let it get to me. I was pissed all day and it definitely showed. 

There is some good that came out of this though, as I recovered much quicker than normal. My mom's birthday is today (happy birthday Mom!) and it was great to spend some time with my parents. A nice meal at home followed by a few uplifting texts, and I was right back to my normal self. Finish it off with some writing to put things into perspective, and things don't seem so bad. 

I need to control my emotions and keep my stress level down, but at least I know I'm still in a good spot. Always need to remain vigilant just in case I slip further. Tomorrow will be better than today.

Kaps

Song of the Day: DMX - Slippin'