The Times, They Are a Changin'

I had a sobering conversation tonight on my way home from the bars (appropriate, I guess based on the beers I consumed). I was sharing a cab with Christie, something I've done dozens of times before since we live about 6 blocks apart, when we got to talking about all the changes around us. As mentioned in previous posts, I've been introduced and had to say goodbye to a host of friends from my Birthright trip, said goodbye to a best friend who moved 3,000 miles away, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Earlier in the evening, I was thinking about what I was going to do tonight. I spent last night at the gym and on my couch watching Taken 2 (don't waste your time, it sucked) so I felt I owed it to myself to be social and go out tonight. I sent out a series of texts to a variety of friends seeing if they were available tonight when I realized 2 things: my list of key contacts isn't nearly as plentiful as it used to be, and the quality of my contacts from a social perspective have declined as well. Basically, many of my friends have moved away and the ones who are left are heavily invested in relationships with their boyfriends/girlfriends/fiancées/spouses. I have friends who are ready to be married and others who are beginning to consider having children. I'm beyond excited for all of them, but a small part of me keeps thinking, what happened to the life I used to know?

Over the past few months, I decided to become a part of the change, and not sit idly by as change occurs all around me. That is why I'll be moving to New York City this summer to pursue my life goals. It's going to be a huge adjustment, one that I've probably been underestimating up until this weekend, but one I know to be right for me. My life in Philly just isn't what it used to be, and I need to do something about it. In New York, I can keep my current job while still pursuing my personal goals as well.

Luckily, Christie texted me tonight and a group of us got together, but if she hadn't, it would have been another lonely night on the couch. I've been extremely lucky over the past 5 years to have a stable and phenomenal group of friends in this city to carry me through good times and bad. Now, the band is breaking up. While I'm extremely excited for the future, I also know how great the past few years have been as well. The bonds we've made will last long into the future, they just wont be renewed as frequently as we're accustomed to. I can live with that, but it's always tough to go through periods of change like this.

Here's to looking forward to the future, while always remembering the comfort of the past, and the excitement of the present.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Calvin Harris - Drinking from the Bottle

Shit People Say in Colorado

During my 5 days in Colorado, I heard some interesting quotes - things you would never hear on the East Coast. Here's a sampling of a few. Enjoy!

"I love that brewery! They are 100% sustainable and even collect all of the methane to power their plant!" No mention of how good their beer is.

"We'll you can't buy pot here yet without a prescription, but we're really hopeful that by January of 2014 it will be legal for everyone." Maybe 2024 back east?

"My regular cabbie drives a Prius." I'm just thankful if the cab driver accepts my credit card in Philly.

"Hi. How are you doing today?" They actually mean it here.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Bassnectar - Vava Voom

Back to Where It All Started

For those of you who don't know, this blog was born in Boulder, Colorado at my cousins house - the same house I'm sitting in right now.  When this blog was born, I was 22 years old, 2 weeks away from starting my career, and had no idea what direction my life would take.  Fast forward almost 4.5 years, and I'm back in the same place, writing in the same blog.  Some things have remained the same, and some things have drastically changed.  The question I want to examine is: have I changed and to what extent?

Let's start with the obvious.  When I started this blog in 2008, I had a (nearly) full head of hair and now I have none.  I'll place a checkmark in the positive column for that one.  Other than that, I look about the same, maybe a little older from 4.5 years of a stressful occupation, but overall, pretty close to the same.  But the physical isn't what I'm concerned with, it's the mental that means the most.

When I first posed the questions to myself, I was worried.  Have I really changed that much?  Am I no longer true to the person I was when I was 22 years old?  Am I "corporate?"  After thinking about it for a while, I believe I have remained true to my values and myself, I just have a different perspective after spending 5 years in the real world.  I still care most deeply about my family and friends.  I still work my ass off no matter what the task.  I still follow the lessons that my grandparents taught me, even though 3 of them have passed away. And I still believe in true love.  What has changed is the knowledge and experience I am armed with to make important decisions and guide my life.  When I was 22 years old, all I wanted to do was start start my own business.  I wanted to be "free" of the corporate world.  Looking back, I had no idea what the corporate world even meant.  I am lucky enough to have a job that allows me the flexibility to do what I want to do when I want to do it (most of the time).  I work with phenomenal people, and I've realized the people, more than the work, more than the pay, more than anything else, make or break a job.

I re-read my first blog post this morning, and I remembered exactly what I felt when I wrote it - I was nervous, angry, excited, and anxious all rolled into one.  I didn't go into the "real world" with a positive attitude, and it impacted the first year of my career in a not so positive way.  I've made great strides at overcoming my "quarterlife crisis," so much so that I changed the name of the blog when I re-booted last month.  I still have a long way to go, a lifetime full of lessons to learn, but I do so now with an open mind.  I'm still anxious and excited, but the nervousness and anger have dissipated and paved the way for more excitement and anticipation at what the future holds. 

My favorite song, "All My Friends" has a line which I think about on a near daily basis: "You forget what you meant when you read what you said."  Nearly 4.5 years later, I still have not forgotten what I meant when I wrote in my blog on that first day.  It's still a part of me to this day, and I carry it with me always.  When I look back in another 4.5 years or even 45 years, I hope the answer is still the same.

For your reading pleasure, the inaugural blog post from August, 28, 2008 has been re-posted below.  Enjoy! http://jkapsworld.blogspot.com/2008/08/inaugural-blog-post.html

Kaps

Song of the Day: Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (it's been in my head for 3 days straight - no idea why)

Colorado - The Perfect Place

Have you ever been somewhere before and known it was the exact right place for you to be at that time? That's how I felt yesterday.

I flew out to Denver for work on Tuesday night and spent a couple of busy days in the field. It's been a nice change of pace for me, and the coming months should offer me an opportunity to travel a few times per month, but nothing even close to as much as I was in 2011. Gotta love those ebbs and flows! Yesterday, I spent the first half of the day in the field before driving from the suburbs south of Denver to Boulder, which is about a 1 hour drive. It was 55 degrees, the skies could not be any bluer, and the mountains were majestic. When do you get the opportunity to drive with the windows down in the middle of January and look at snow covered mountains? It also helps that my rental this week was a bright red Dodge Charger, which is really fun to drive.

After taking in one of the shortest 1 hour drives of my life, I caught up with my cousins for a bit before getting a massage. The woman who gives me my massages out here is trained in cranial techniques. She can transport you to another dimension she's so good at what she does. When you get off the table, you feel kind of like Peter Gibbons did after his hypnotherapy session in Office Space. Always one of the highlights of a trip to Boulder.

After I got back to my cousins, I shut off my phone and went to dinner at Avery, which is a microbrewery here in Boulder. For those of you who don't know, Colorado is by far the best microbrew area in the country. There are dozens of microbrews out here, each one better then the last. If you're looking for a solid brewery, my favorite is Left Hand. They're getting big in Philly now and you can get their beers pretty much anywhere that sells six-packs. I recommend the Left Hand Nitro Milk Stout. They patented a new process where they can get a beer on Nitro in a bottle. Pretty amazing stuff. Back to dinner - I sampled about 6 different stouts (one of the reasons I love winter) and enjoyed the time with my cousins who I only get to see 2-3 times per year.

When we returned, my cousin played the piano for about 45 minutes (he's incredible), while I took some time to read (phone still off). I can't begin to tell you how liberating it is to disconnect from the world for a few hours every week. It changes my entire perspective and allows me to reset, especially after a long week. The perfect mental respite that I need.

Today I'll be hitting the slopes for a full day of skiing. In the words of the not so immortal Bart Scott, "Can't Wait!"

Kaps

Song of the Day: Lumineers - Ho Hey

Goodbye - Part 2

Goodbye. It's just one of those words. It can elicit sadness, relief, and even denial depending on the circumstance. I've been saying a lot of goodbyes lately, and I use their frequency as a barometer to measure the change taking place in my life. My latest goodbye was to one of my best friends who is moving to LA to pursue his dreams. I've known and been friends with Heath since I was 6 years old. He was in my first grade class. I slept over his house almost every weekend when I was a kid. We went to every Hebrew School class together, no matter how much we hated it. Outside of my family, I've known him longer than any other person on this planet. We went to dinner Friday night, just the 2 of us, and talked about life for a few hours. Both of our lives are drastically changing, and it was refreshing to share a deep conversation with him, especially when these conversations seem to come up less and less frequently due to life's ever growing demands.

If I were to run down a list of some of my best friends in this world, I would tell you they live in Philly, NYC, Chicago, LA, Pittsburgh, DC, Kansas City, and State College. At one point or another, I lived with or near all of them, which means at one point or another, I've had to say goodbye. It's tough knowing things will never be the same. We become accustomed to our lives and get comfortable. No matter how much it doesn't make sense, we tend to think things will remain the same - until they don't. Yet we move on, we persevere, and we become accustomed to a new normal that hopefully fulfills and enriches our lives.

I think back to the next to last scene in The Sandlot (yes, the baseball movie from 1993 which is one of my childhood favorites). Adult Scotty is recounting all of the kids on the team and how gradually they all moved away from their small town. When they moved away, the Sandlot was still there - the indelible legacy they all left behind. It's not so different when the people who we care most about move out of or take a diminished role in our lives. We take a small part of them, sometimes without even realizing it, and that becomes part of our own personality. When you surround yourself with incredible people, you tend to get great results, and I've been blessed to have some amazing friends over the course of my life. I've had to say goodbye to most of them, but they're all still a huge part of me, no matter the distance, and a major reason I am who I am today.

When I think back on my relationship with Heath, I keep coming back to an old picture of us. We were in 3rd grade and it was the night of our winter concert - one of those events the school makes up so parents can be proud of their kids for something they genuinely have no talent in (singing). The theme that year was Grease, and Heath and I were dressed up in tucked in t-shirts and jeans with our hair slicked back. I look back on that picture and think about everything that has happened since then, literally a lifetime of memories together, and I realize how lucky I am. Not many people have 1 friend like Heath, I have many. So while it may be goodbye for now, no distance can shatter a 20 year bond formed through a lifetime of shared memories.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Brand New - Jesus Christ

My First Shabbat

As I sit at the top of the Art Museum steps, wrapping up my first "Shabbat," I wanted to reflect and get my thoughts down before returning home to watch football and get some work done. 

This is more rewarding and soul-cleansing than I thought. I turned off both of my phones (especially the Blackberry), downloaded a book that was recommended during my trip, got lost in a half-asleep state for some amount of time, grabbed some lunch, wrote in my blog, and went for walk. By disconnecting from the outside world, I feel liberated. Everything feels different today. There is no stress, no worries, and no bullshit that the normal week brings. If day one is any indication, I'm going to continue this trend for a while.

I know that the traditional Sabbath takes place from Friday at sundown to Saturday at sundown, but that doesn't really work for me. If I learned anything on my trip, it's that for this transformation to be successful, I need to do things my way. So I will continue to work this into my schedule where convenient for now, and that simply keeping it as a part of my routine should help by leaps and bounds.

I've never been one to pay much attention to "signs," and I usually chalk things up to coincidence, but I've seen way too many "coincidences" lately that I'm starting to at least question my thinking. As I mentioned at the start of this entry, I'm sitting at the top of the Art Museum steps. If you've been up here, you know you can see the entire Philly skyline from this vantage point. However, today is a particularly foggy day, and it's difficult to see the tops of many buildings. My client happens to be located in the tallest building in the city, and on most days, you can see it from anywhere in Philly. Not today. Based on the fog and the height of the building directly in front of it, you cannot see the building at all. Part of the beauty of Shabbat is that you don't think about work, don't talk about work, and don't do work. I'm sure it's not a stretch to extend that to not seeing work either. On my first Shabbat, in a place where you can almost always see work, I can't see work. It seems like this was meant to be. Maybe I'm just learning where to look.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Bill Conti - Gonna Fly Now

Obstacles

Coming off my trip, I knew this post was going to be a critical one.  Why?  This is the first post I've written since I re-entered the real world (AKA returned to work).  I mentioned to one of my friends on Sunday night that I was really nervous about this week, because I was afraid of what work would do to my resolve and all the positive gains I had made during my trip.  Work is going to be the single biggest obstacle to me becoming the person I want to be after this trip.

Now let's be honest - most days I really do love my job.  I work with some absolutely incredible people who teach me and challenge me everyday.  I love my co-workers and wouldn't trade them for the world.  However, this job, especially at this particular client, can be extremely taxing. Every demand is a fire drill and we operate in an environment that is constantly changing and uncertain.  Take those factors and combine them with the long hours and trying to live up to my recent promotion and you have the recipe for high-stress.  Stress leads to bad habits and bad decisions.  Stress can totally throw this whole thing out of whack.

The week started off innocently enough, but as the week progressed, things really got busy and hectic.  When 5:00PM rolled aroundtonight, I was ready for a drink…a really stiff one.  Compare this week to last week, and you have a 180 degree difference, and not in a good way.  There will be many more weeks like this to come and I owe it to myself to ensure I don't lose everything I gained during my trip.  So as I sit here (still at work), I ask myself one question - now that it's over, how do I feel?

Surprisingly, pretty damn good.  I got beat down today (I get at least one of these every week), but I'm still smiling and really looking forward to the weekend.  The texts from my friends have helped.  As I think about the weekend and escaping this mad reality for a little while, the stress seems to be melting away almost instantly.  One of my team members (probably the guy who is most honest and most critical of me) told me he's hopeful I can make the leap, but he's skeptical.  I don't blame him.  Sometimes, I doubt myself.  The difference between today and prior to the trip is that I would take the stress home with me.  I don't feel the need to do that anymore.  Work is work and I need to make sure it doesn't take over my life.  I'm determined not to let it.  It's only week 1, but they say it only takes 21 days to develop a habit - both good and bad.  So the way I see it, I'm 2 weeks away from being much better at managing my stress level and my priorities.

More to come later this weekend.  Shabbat Shalom everyone.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Radiohead - Everything in its Right Place

What the Hell Happened Over There?

You were right, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That sentence is directed towards and dedicated to every single person who told me that Birthright would irrevocably change my life. I never believed a word you said, no matter how many times you said it. I realize now that you knew better, but like the proverb says, "You can lead a man to water, but you can't make him drink."

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what happened over the last 11 days, a process which is most likely going to take weeks or even months to figure out. Not all of life's deepest revelations can be solved from the comfort of a NJTransit train. I'm going to try my best to make sure this doesn't turn into a rambling mess, so I'll start with what happened and then talk about how it impacted me, followed by what it means for the future. Here goes nothing...

Over the past 11 days I was exposed to a program whose main objective is to promote the country of Israel both domestically and abroad. The program achieves this purpose by exposing its participants to all aspects of the country - the sites (covered in previous posts), the religion (we'll get to that), the people (1 local tour leader and 7 young Israelis either in the army or studying at a university), and the history - while experiencing the program with 33 other like-minded individuals around your age (our group was 18-26 year olds interested in media). The best summation I can give to the program relates to something I said before I left for Israel, which was basically, "Why do many American Jews refer to Israel as we or us? They live in America, they were born in America - Israel just happens to have a lot of Jews in it. I don't get it." When you return from birthright, you understand completely why American Jews refer to Israel as we or us - and you start doing it yourself.

One of the lessons I learned while on birthright is that the country of Israel was founded as "the Jewish State in the Land of Israel." Interesting. This is part of the reason why a law exists in Israel that if your grandfather was born Jewish, you can instantly obtain citizenship there. Therefore, everyone on this trip is eligible for citizenship in Israel (and yes, they really, really, really want you to move there). In fact, you don't just move to Israel, you make "aliyah" there. Literal translation - to ascend.

Still though, learning that you are eligible for citizenship in a country and seeing some of the cool sites wouldn't be enough for you to identify more as a Jew and with Israel. There has to be something else in play here - the people. There are 4 aspects to the people in Israel - your trip mates, the Israeli students and soldiers who join your trip, all of the other Israelis you meet during your trip, and the people who came before you. I think I've covered my trip mates enough in previous posts for you to understand my feelings about them. I love this group of people like family, and I've made some best friends for life. If I didn't experience Israel with them, the opportunity wouldn't have been nearly as special.

Let's focus on the second group for a second, the Israeli students and soldiers who joined the trip. The main thing you realize when you meet them - they're just like us. They spend too much time on Facebook, they watch the same movies, listen to the same music, they're trying to figure out their place in this world, and they long for a world filled with peace. The difference between "them" and "us" (besides the fact that they're all very good looking and have accents) is that at 18 years old, they're called into duty to protect their country. When you meet 7 people who have sacrificed 3 years in defense of their country, it's pretty powerful, especially when you understand the stakes. You want to support them, because they're your friends and you care about them. I haven't met too many American soldiers or young veterans, but I was really surprised at how much I related to these people who were strangers only 1 week before.

The other group of Israelis we met were from various media outlets (bloggers, journalists, radio DJs, etc) soldiers who work for various communication arms of the government, and strangers you happen to run into on the street. The first 2 groups were really interesting to meet. We consistently heard a message of them asking us to help support Israel in North America. They understand how vitally important the USA is in their survival (we co-developed and are bank rolling the Iron Dome System), and they also realize how international support has steadily declined in recent years. They want us to go back home and talk to people about what we saw there and how different things are from world perception. Don't worry, that post will follow. Other than that, the strangers are kind of take it or leave it. Some people are nice, some people are not so nice, just like anywhere else, I suppose. Israeli people tend to be pushy and don't have great manners - you may even classify them as rude. They recognize this and make fun of themselves on a regular basis.

The last group of people is one we didn't meet on this trip. This group consists of millions of Jewish people who never got to see a Jewish homeland. People who were persecuted, never really had a place to fit in, and were spread all over the world. It runs much deeper than the Holocaust, but I heard a quote from Neil Lazarus, a political speaker and expert on Middle East politics which I found insightful and sums it up well, "Israel didn't happen because of the Holocaust, the Holocaust happened because there was no Israel." That's some really powerful stuff.

I also think back to my grandparents who have had a profound impact on my life. 3 of the 4 of them passed away between 2006-2009, but the lessons they taught me still reverberate to this day. My grandparents, particularly my grandfathers, were very proud of their Jewish heritage. They were overjoyed on the days my brother and I got Bar Mitzvahed and were the reason we went to Hebrew School and did other "Jewish" things in life. When they began to pass away, many of the bonds to the religion passed as well. We stopped or scaled back celebrating many of the holidays, and stopped going to synagogue the 2 times a year that we went while I was growing up. I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital yesterday and she said something very poignant that I wasn't aware of prior. She told me that my grandfather always wanted to go to Israel (he never made it there), and that he would have been really proud of me making the trip. She also told me that he would often tell her, "Don't you want to see where you came from?" when she resisted visiting Israel. My grandfather was a wise man - he understood exactly what I'm writing about in this post. I wish he were here today so I could discuss this with him.

When you digest all of these factors and begin thinking about them, it becomes very easy to identify yourself as Jewish and consider Israel a "we" rather than a "them." There is a reason you see hundreds of plaques all over the country honoring donors of one monument or another all from the US - because other people have been there and have come to similar realizations. This was an interesting change in thinking for me, but one which I have embraced.

The other big "change" that happened over there was I began to embrace my Jewish roots. I am a firm believer in that if you own something and accept it, it becomes very difficult for people to make you feel uncomfortable about it, and you will gain more confidence. Perfect relevant example - when I shaved my head. I embraced the baldness and came out much better for it on the other side rather than be self-conscious about my impending chrome dome. Judaism is somewhat similar. I have pushed Judaism away for literally my entire life. I hated going to Hebrew school, I hated going to temple, and I pretty much disassociated from the religion after I got Bar Mitzvahed in 1999. I never really spent much time trying to figure out why I always pushed away from it, I just did. I avoided invitations to Shabbat dinners, refused to sign up for JDate, and wouldn't even outwardly proclaim that I was Jewish when people would ask. So what happened?

I think it's actually pretty simple - the trip helped me realize my roots and become proud of them. By learning everything that I took in on this trip and meeting all of these incredible, like-minded people, I began accepting a force that I had pushed away for 26 and a half years. And let me tell you, it feels really fucking good.

Over the past 11 days, I was described by multiple people as "radiant" - you literally couldn't wipe the smile off my face and my energy level and enthusiasm were at an all time high. For proof, check out some of the Facebook pictures from the trip. By beginning to "own" a big part of me that I had been fighting against for years, my confidence has increased and I feel better about myself. Some of you know this, and many of you don't, but I have had some significant confidence issues throughout my entire life. I've never quite felt comfortable in my own skin, and I never knew why. I always felt that all of my individual traits and characteristics should have added up to a much more confident individual on the inside. Those of you who know me best have said as much to me.

During my time in Israel I was not a different person, I was just a better version of myself - a person I always thought existed but could never quite introduce to the world. Literally, I ascended as a person in Israel. I was more confident. I was a better friend. I was more open-minded. I opened my heart in ways I never had before. None of these are qualities I had not exhibited in the past, I was just better over there. The key focus now, and it is one of the most important undertakings I will ever tackle in my life, is to carry over this better person as I assimilate back into reality. It's one thing to have an awakening when you're so disconnected from your normal life that everything feels different. It's a far greater challenger to break years old habits and make changes in an already established life. How am I going to do this?

The first change was obvious to me before I went on this trip but smacked me in the face almost as soon as I landed in Israel. I need to take time every week to reflect on my life - the person I am, the person I'm becoming, and what is truly important to me. I live my life at a break neck pace and never really take time for these things. Essentially, I need to take my own personal Sabbath every week. I don't know exactly what this entails yet, but during this time I need to meditate/pray/think/reflect, write, and read while disconnecting from the outside world. I know there is going to be a trial and error period, but I'm committed to making it work.

I also need to keep the spirit of this trip alive and keep the connections strong to the Jewish side of myself I discovered. That will come by keeping in touch with the people on the trip and being more observant of the religion. Maybe it's some sort of modified kosher diet in my apartment that will serve as a daily reminder. Maybe it's celebrating a few more holidays and going to synagogue on the high holidays again. Maybe it's reading a few new books on the religion and keeping alive the inquisitive spirit I had over there. Maybe it's reconnecting to the community through different programs. In reality, I'll probably accomplish this task through a pu pu platter of each of these aspects. Regardless, change is coming.

Well, there you have it. Before I wrap this up, I want to cover one more lesson that I learned during this trip. At dinner one night, I was speaking with a friend about making changes in life and how they might be perceived by the outside world. This particular person has changed quite a few aspects in her life over the past few years, and family and friends haven't always been fully supportive. Yet, she still moves forward with conviction, knowing the changes she is making are best for her life. This is probably one of the most difficult decisions a person can make - going against the grain when everyone else tells you to do something different. I have a tremendous amount of respect for people who make these decisions, and it's going to require the same sort of dedication and sacrifice for me to fully transition to the person I want to be. I pray that I have the strength inside me to be that man.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Coldplay - Paradise

Farewell...For Now

Note: This entry was originally written for the Taglit Birthright Media Trip Tumblr page. It was read to the group at the closing session of the trip.

Think back to 10 days ago. 10 short days which seem like a lifetime ago. We gathered at JFK Airport as 36 strangers (with the exception of 2 pairs of sisters and 1 couple). Think about how you felt. Were you nervous? Excited? Skeptical?

Think about why you came here. Was it for the free trip to Israel? Was it to get away from life for a while after a difficult year? Were you looking for something? Did you find it?

Fast forward to today. 36 strangers quickly greeted 7 more strangers from 6,000 miles away. Within days, we were a family, a mishpacha of 43. Can you believe it? 

Did you ever think we would have 7 Israeli family members when we began this trip? All of our Israeli hosts were so amazing during our time together, and I can't imagine this trip without them. To those of you serving in the IDF, we will continue to support you from abroad in any way possible.

Each of us experienced Israel through our own filters based on our needs and wishes. Everyone took in the country in their own way and appreciated different things we saw and experienced. However, we no doubt experienced Israel together as a family. One person's revelations taught someone else, and we all learned about life through the numerous deep conversations we had with each other.

Think about all that we did the past 10 days. Hiking Mt. Arbel, the Sea of Galilee, Mt. Bental, the Western Wall, the City of David, Hezekiah's Tunnel, Machne Yehuda Market, Ben Yehuda St, Boker Today, the radio station in Jerusalem, New Year's Eve in Tel Aviv, Masada, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, the Dead Sea, all of the media visits, and so much more that I haven't even listed. That's crazy!!  No wonder almost all of us got sick this week! Even with all that, I don't even think those were the highlights of the trip. The highlights happened in between all of those visits when we shared our dreams, aspirations, and deepest thoughts with each other. The endless bus rides, listening to Ross on the guitar, hanging out at the hotel bar, the nights without Wi-Fi in Golan - these are the moments that brought us all together and transformed strangers into family. That is why I have faith that these relationships will continue long into the future once we've all left this amazing country. We can do any of these things in the states (and Canada and Brazil), we just happened to have Israel serve as an incredible backdrop.

Think about the future for a second. What will you take away from this trip? Will you make an effort to learn Hebrew? Will you start attending Shabbat dinners? Will you make aliyah to Israel? Our worlds are filled with endless possibilities - possibilities which have infinitely expanded since we took a leap of faith and hopped on a flight to Israel. We have so much to look forward to and I can't wait to see what the future holds for each and every one of us.

While this is the end of our time in Israel together, I'm viewing this as only the beginning - the beginning of our new lives as proud, young Jews who now carry a burden to carry on the lessons and relationships from this trip. We will all meet again soon, hopefully when we win the competition and return the favor to our Israeli hosts who were so incredibly gracious and accommodating to us.

I'd like to leave you all with a simple word of thanks. Thank you to every single one of you for making this the most incredible 10 days of our lives. We'll have these memories forever. I love you all so much.

Jeff

The Soothing Sounds of Sickness

I want to take a timeout here mention a quirk from our trip that doesn't really fit neatly into any particular blog post. I'm not sure if it was the crazy busy schedule we kept for 10 days, the close quarters we were all in, the cleanliness or lack thereof in a few of the hotels we stayed in, or just a general lack of sleep but pretty much every single person on our trip got sick throughout the week. We had at least 5 people go to the hospital, 2 with hernias, 1 with bronchitis, 1 with the flu, and 1 for a fall down some stairs. At least another 20 (we only had 36 people on the trip) had some sort of cold, cough, or god knows what other virus flying around. The final closeout session was literally a chorus of coughs, sneezes, and sniffles. I consider myself extremely lucky that I started to feel a little under the weather on Day 3 but I never experienced anything more than a stuffy nose. Some of my trip mates faired much worse. The interesting thing is that no one ever complained about someone else getting them sick. Sure, we all felt under the weather, but we all kept supporting each other and didn't turn negative because someone else was sick. We just supported each other the best we could - like family.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Blind Pilot - The Story I Heard

Wednesday - Camels to Masada to Dead Sea and Bar Mitzvah Time

Wednesday morning we got up super early to watch the sunrise over the desert. Can you all tell how different this trip is from my normal life? That's what makes it so amazing. I love the change. After a breakfast of fresh pita and hummus, we hopped on camels and trekked around the desert for 30 minutes. "Sophie" (lovingly nicknamed by my camel partner Amanda) was probably the ugliest camel in the lot, which is saying something since all camels are ugly. She also was a bit wild which made things uncomfortable for me from a "male" perspective. Lets just say I won't be bareback camel riding any time soon.

Upon leaving the Bedouin tents, we took the bus to Masada, the ancient fortress that has changed hands from Romans to Jews to Muslims and back again seemingly dozens of times. Masada contains more tremendous views of the countryside, mostly of barren desert but also the Dead Sea deep in the background. This is another one of those areas that you will never see unless you're in the Middle East or maybe somewhere like Greece. We took a funicular, which is one of my favorite words in the English language, down the mountain to the gift shop/restaurant - both of which were unspectacular.

After Masada, we took a short bus ride over to an ancient synagogue that is currently being excavated. The building is almost 1,700 years old and it was incredible to see how similar some of the traditions are that have been passed down. 7 of our trip mates decided to go forward with a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, some of whom had never gone through with the ceremony when they were at the "normal" age, and wanted to have their first. A few others thought it would be important to be re-Bar/Bat Mitzvahed in the land of Israel. We said a few prayers, each of the participants gave a beautiful speech, and then the Rabbi said some words about the new Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. Rabbi Persoff, a Brit who made aliyah to Israel 40-50 years ago, is incredible. The dude is probably 65 years old and has the energy of a 15 year old. He was literally running around in circles as we were celebrating and dancing after the ceremony. He made the experience so much enjoyable for everyone. We need more Rabbis in the US like Rabbi Persoff. Mazel Tov to all of the new Bar/Bat Mitzvahs - Dan, Daniel, Dave, Gina, Esther, Ross, and Alex.

Once we finished celebrating the Bar Mitzvahs, we hopped on the bus again and went over to the Dead Sea. I have to admit, the Dead Sea was one of the sites that most intrigued me and that I was most looking forward to experiencing. We arrived late in the afternoon, and had about 75 minutes before we needed to hop back on the bus. Going into this trip, I knew:
*People float in the Dead Sea
*If you have cuts anywhere on your body, they will burn
*The beach is very rocky so as to avoid said cuts, footwear is recommended

As such, I made sure I kept my luscious locks long and flowing (4 days since last shave!) and brought along some flip flops. After visiting the Dead Sea, I learned:
*Everyone cakes themselves with mud prior to entering the sea. The mud doesn't smell all that pleasant but when you're the token bald guy on the trip and you can cake that shit all over your head when no one else can, you have to take advantage.
*Floating in the Dead Sea is one of the coolest experiences I've ever been a part of. You seem to be weightless, and can move through the water unlike any normal ocean/sea.
*Trying to "warm yourself" in the water is not a good idea and can be extremely painful. I did NOT learn this by experience but was told secondhand by some other unfortunate soul.

I would say for all the amazing things we did in Israel, the Dead Sea was probably my favorite. I wish I had more time there to chill out with a cooler of beer. Would have made for a tremendous afternoon. O well, I guess I'll need to return some time soon.

Kaps

Song of the Day: Of Monsters and Men - Mountain Sound

Goodbye - Part 1

Part of the birthright experience is having a group of Israelis, usually around your age, join you for a portion of the trip. The Israelis are either currently serving in the armed forces or are students at a university. For our trip, we had 7 Israelis join us - 4 serving in the army, and 3 civilians. I was skeptical at first of a group of Israeli soldiers joining us. How would they fit in? Would they be too serious? Are they fun? Those concerns were immediately alleviated when we met the group who would be joining us for 5 days. They fit into the group just like anyone else on the trip. We shared stories, hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We formed connections. We experienced life through each other's eyes. One of the biggest surprises for me was that the Israelis looked forward to this experience as much or more than we did. It is considered a privilege to join a birthright trip, and our new friends took full advantage of the opportunity.

Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our new family, as they only join us for a portion of the trip. It quickly became clear that the bonds formed were deeper and stronger than any of us could have imagined only a few days before, as the goodbyes were emotional and difficult to handle. It speaks to how special this trip truly is that a group of 7 people, strangers living in a strange land only 1 week before, became family with a group of 36 Americans, strangers themselves 1 week prior. 

The hardest part for me was thinking about the potential that will never come to fruition. When will we see these friends again in person? Even if we do, how long will we actually connect? There's no way to know for sure what the future holds, but even if we never connect again, it's comforting to know we shared something that can never be taken away. Add another 7 to the ever crowding but never full permanent marking on my shoulder.

To Oren, Assaf, Li, Eden, Nadav, Mor, and Maya - we love you all. 

Not looking forward to repeating this exercise in 3 days when the group breaks for good.

Kaps

Song of the Day:  Boyz II Men - It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

Tuesday - Reflection Eternal

Tuesday turned into a day of deep reflection. We started with a short bus ride into Tel Aviv where we gathered at a park filled with palm trees and the sounds of small children enjoying a beautiful day on jungle gyms and swing sets. We were given a half hour to do whatever we wanted - writing, walking around, thinking, etc. I chose to take 10 minutes to sit under a tree for the beginning of the activity, partly because I was running on 3 hours of sleep and partly to take in the scenery.

I realized pretty quickly that I only take advantage of moments like these maybe 3-4 times a year and it's not nearly enough. For those of you have seen Ferris Bueller's Day off, you'll remember the closing line of the movie, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it." Amen Matthew Broderick. New Year's Resolution #1 - stop and smell the roses every once in a while.

I then moved on to watching the kids playing on the playground. They were so happy and full of joy. Someone commented to me that no matter what language kids are speaking, you can always tell from the sounds of their voices if they're happy. These kids were overjoyed with the day and made me think back to simpler times, when I was a kid. Time is of no consequence to kids because they think it's infinite. You leave when Mom says to leave, and you don't really think much about anything else. One of the most precious parts of this trip is that we all were given a 10 day respite from time. I have regularly forgotten the day, and time has little consequence here. We go to the next activity when the group leader tells us to, and we don't have any planning we need to do. In this way, we're able to recapture some of that youthful bliss that leaves us as the binds of time grow stronger.

After I took 15 minutes to write "Goodbye - Part 1" we went over to downtown Tel Aviv to visit the Army's communication wing. This visit was one of the more interesting as we saw how the army uses modern communication tools such as Twitter and Facebook to tell their side of the story. All of the work is done by soldiers who are 18-21 years old. These guys do a fantastic job for being so young and inexperienced, and they've come a long way in a few years. During the presentation, I couldn't help but think how much more effective they could be if they had the same tools and resources we have available to us in the private sector. The Consultant in me really wants to scope out a project to help them develop new tools and a more updated strategy to reach their target audience. Our firm (and many others) do this type of work all the time. Unfortunately, the army doesn't allow help from external sources (I asked). Best part about the headquarters we visited? They are located on Kaplan St!

The middle of the day was relatively unexceptional for Birthright standards. We were in Tel Aviv but really didn't get a chance to see much of the city. When I return to Israel, I will definitely take additional time to see Tel Aviv as it is the most modern and progressive city in Israel. We then took a bus down to the middle of the desert to a Bedouin Camp. We had a great meal in a giant tent where we all sat on the floor and ate fresh pita, hummus, rice, and salads. Afterwards, we got a presentation from a Bedouin man who spoke no English (everything was translated for us) and actually turned out to be hilarious.

Once the presentation concluded, we took a stroll out of the camp to see the stars in all their glory - no lights or skyscrapers to get in the way. We were blessed with a clear night, bright moon, and great weather. The leaders gave us 15 minutes of quiet to lie down with only our thoughts, the stars, and the moon to keep us company. First thought, I need to do this more often! No surprises there, right? After that, I took some time to take in the size and enormity of the universe. Our problems and struggles can't be that bad when so much space is out there, right?

Kaps

Song of the Day: Talib Kweli and DJ Hi-Tek - Move Somethin'

Monday Part 2 - New Year's Eve in Tel Aviv

If you spoke to me before the trip, you knew I was most excited about spending New Year's Eve in Tel Aviv. Tel Aviv is the most modern and "Western" city in Israel. They are known for having a crazy club scene, and the people there (and in Israel in general) are very good looking. It appeared the only thing stopping us from having a blast in Tel Aviv would be restrictions on our schedule. We were only allowed out in Tel Aviv until 1:00, which actually became 12:20 once we received some rules clarifications. Considering we weren't getting out until after 10 and the clubs in Tel Aviv don't really open up until 11, the night could have turned into a major disappointment.

But that's not how our group rolls.

We arrived at the pier around 10:15 and immediately found a bar which had a DJ spinning so we figured it would serve our purposes well. From here on out, we'll ignore the fact that the bar was called the "Speedo Bar." I know. Once we all had a couple of drinks, the dancing really kicked into high gear and our birthright class showed off their moves...as well as 36 Jews can. Between our group dancing on tables and falling off tables (twice for some people) everyone was having an absolute blast as midnight approached.

I want to take a quick timeout to talk about New Year's Eve and my thoughts/feelings toward it in general. I fall into the camp of people who hate NYE. I think everyone gets overly excited for a night of partying that isn't much different than any other night except you wait in long lines and pay triple the price you normally would to go out. Also, 8 years ago I got together with a girlfriend on NYE which was a magical night. For the last 6 years, I've had to think back to that night each time I'm not kissing someone at midnight which is unpleasant to say the least.

Back to the present. As the minutes ticked off the clock and midnight approached, I was pretty caught up in the moment. I felt liberated from past New Years Eves and wasn't thinking about the past - only present and forward. That doesn't mean it wouldn't have been really nice to ring in the New Year with a kiss.

I had been hanging out quite a bit with one of the girls on the trip throughout the week and we were dancing shortly before midnight. Names will be omitted to protect the not-so innocent. I was pretty sure she had a bit of a crush on me, but if you know my track record with women, you would know not to put much stock into what I observe. After I rescued her from some creeper who dressed like a 50 year old (he was probably 22) we danced through to midnight. 3, 2, 1...and boom! There's no better way to start a new year than with a kiss at midnight surrounded by great friends.

We had to leave the club shortly after midnight to make sure we hit our curfew, which was really the only unfortunate part of the night. It really didn't matter through because everyone was in such high spirits that nothing could take us off our high. We hopped on the bus, went back to the hotel in Netanya, and found another dance party taking place in the lobby. About 7 or 8 of us spent some time there as going to bed on such a high would have been a huge waste.

After a little while, my friend and I decided to head down to a rocky area overlooking the Mediterranean. We stayed out for an hour or so watching the waves and taking in the beautiful scenery. It was great to be close to someone and share an amazing night in the first few hours of the year. Now when I look back on New Year's Eve, I will think back to positive memories from the past, not a longing for what was. Thank you for sharing it with me. 

Happy New Year everyone!

Kaps

Song of the Day: Thursday - Jet Black New Year