For those of you who don't know, this blog was born in Boulder, Colorado at my cousins house - the same house I'm sitting in right now. When this blog was born, I was 22 years old, 2 weeks away from starting my career, and had no idea what direction my life would take. Fast forward almost 4.5 years, and I'm back in the same place, writing in the same blog. Some things have remained the same, and some things have drastically changed. The question I want to examine is: have I changed and to what extent?
Let's start with the obvious. When I started this blog in 2008, I had a (nearly) full head of hair and now I have none. I'll place a checkmark in the positive column for that one. Other than that, I look about the same, maybe a little older from 4.5 years of a stressful occupation, but overall, pretty close to the same. But the physical isn't what I'm concerned with, it's the mental that means the most.
When I first posed the questions to myself, I was worried. Have I really changed that much? Am I no longer true to the person I was when I was 22 years old? Am I "corporate?" After thinking about it for a while, I believe I have remained true to my values and myself, I just have a different perspective after spending 5 years in the real world. I still care most deeply about my family and friends. I still work my ass off no matter what the task. I still follow the lessons that my grandparents taught me, even though 3 of them have passed away. And I still believe in true love. What has changed is the knowledge and experience I am armed with to make important decisions and guide my life. When I was 22 years old, all I wanted to do was start start my own business. I wanted to be "free" of the corporate world. Looking back, I had no idea what the corporate world even meant. I am lucky enough to have a job that allows me the flexibility to do what I want to do when I want to do it (most of the time). I work with phenomenal people, and I've realized the people, more than the work, more than the pay, more than anything else, make or break a job.
I re-read my first blog post this morning, and I remembered exactly what I felt when I wrote it - I was nervous, angry, excited, and anxious all rolled into one. I didn't go into the "real world" with a positive attitude, and it impacted the first year of my career in a not so positive way. I've made great strides at overcoming my "quarterlife crisis," so much so that I changed the name of the blog when I re-booted last month. I still have a long way to go, a lifetime full of lessons to learn, but I do so now with an open mind. I'm still anxious and excited, but the nervousness and anger have dissipated and paved the way for more excitement and anticipation at what the future holds.
My favorite song, "All My Friends" has a line which I think about on a near daily basis: "You forget what you meant when you read what you said." Nearly 4.5 years later, I still have not forgotten what I meant when I wrote in my blog on that first day. It's still a part of me to this day, and I carry it with me always. When I look back in another 4.5 years or even 45 years, I hope the answer is still the same.
For your reading pleasure, the inaugural blog post from August, 28, 2008 has been re-posted below. Enjoy! http://jkapsworld.blogspot.com/2008/08/inaugural-blog-post.html
Kaps
Song of the Day: Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (it's been in my head for 3 days straight - no idea why)
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