A New Beginning, and the Close of a Chapter

This past week was a whirlwind week for me. It started out innocently enough, as the project I've been working on for the past year continued to wind down. The hours were getting shorter, and we didn't really have all that much to do. I knew I had a few busy days scheduled in New York City, but I was looking forward to the change. Little did I know the chance that I'd go through by the end of the week.

I entered work on Tuesday expecting just another day. By 3:00 PM, I found out the work at my current client was done, and that I wouldn't be heading back there soon, or possibly ever again. I'd be starting a new project on Monday. Just like that, total upheaval.

This isn't to say that this isn't a welcomed change for me. In fact, I'm extremely excited about the new opportunity. I'm going to be working for on a project that is much more entrepreneurial in nature, is really exciting work, and will give me the opportunity to work in Philly and get to network with some of my friends in the office. Basically, everything I was asking for over the past year. However, as the news began to sink in, I couldn't help but feel a sort of sadness, an emptiness, now that I was no longer going to be working at the client. This may sound a little weird to all of you considering how much I've complained about the things I didn't like about this client: the long hours, the mundane nature of the work, the lack of work/life balance, the often unreasonable client demands, etc. With that being said, the one thing I never complained about, and the one thing that I absolutely loved about this client was the people. Let's start off with the people at the client site. They were extremely helpful, always patient, and never gave me a hard time, even when I was bothering them for information on a consistent basis. Some of the people I would consider friends, and we shared some great conversations over the past year where I learned about their families, their interests, and their passions. It was great getting to know them over the past 12+ months, and I hope to maintain my relationships with them into the future.

The other person who made this project bearable on its worst days, and fun on its best days, was my manager, Mark. Before this project started, Mark would have been just another anonymous face in the world who I never would have known. Today, I would consider Mark one of my best friends, a trusted confidant, and someone who I shared everything with over the past year. It's amazing how well you get to know someone when you spend 10-12 hours a day with them in a small office, especially when it's only the 2 of you for 8 months. I can honestly say that Mark knows more about me than just about anyone. That's the nature of the beast when you spend that much time together. I've often thought about how this project would have went for me if someone else were the manager, especially someone who I didn't get along with. Needless to say, I would have been absolutely miserable for a year, and I probably wouldn't be employed by my firm anymore, since I would have performed terribly and gotten canned, or been so miserable that I would have quit as soon as my signing bonus vested. Luckily, I never had to worry about that, and Mark made the project worthwhile and helped me get through those long days. I sincerely hope he feels the same way about my contributions as well.

It's so bizarre to think about how random events in your life can have such a huge impact. There are so many that have occurred during my 23 years, and I am thankful that most of them have been for the best. This project certainly was one of them. It could have been an abomination, it could have been devastating. Instead, I emerged a better person with more knowledge, and a sense of what I need to do to accomplish my goals.

My next project is going to present with a slew of new challenges that I will need to overcome. I can't count on the client being nearly as accommodating as my last client. I can't count on my manager supporting me as much as my last project. I can't take for granted the knowledge that I accumulated on my last project. However, I can move forward with the confidence that if one project went well, so can another. Let's hope that in 6 months, the expected duration of the project (and I use the term "expected" lightly), I can write another post with a positive tone. I'm looking forward to the future, but will always fondly remember the past...well at least the good parts.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Sponge - Wax Ecstatic

Must See TV

Last night I was introduced to one of the finest new shows on television. It's probably not going to win any Oscars nor will it be considered one of the finest shows on television. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show won't make it past one season. However, for sheer entertainment value, it's near the top of the list in my book. The show that I'm talking about? Jersey Shore.

For those of you who don't know, Jersey Shore is a new MTV show in the mold of "The Real World" that puts 8 "guidos" and "guidettes" together in a house in Seaside Heights, New Jersey for one magical summer. "The Real World" may have entertainment value for the drama that ensues, but it's taken to a whole new level when you introduce guidos into the mix. Just to clarify, "guidos" are the fine segment of our society who are also known as "douche bags," "meatheads," "New York assholes," and basically are the guys who were the topic of the hit YouTube video "My New Haircut." (If you've never seen it, you need to go watch it right now.) The guys on the show are your typical guidos: blowout haircut, huge muscles, lots of tats, talk funny, and are downright obnoxious and self-absorbed. The "guidettes," a term that I never knew existed before watching the show, are total whores with fake tans, fake boobs, bad attitudes, and a predisposition to starting drama.

Are you getting the picture? When you put these 8 people together in one house, the shenanigans that ensure are downright hilarious. There are fights, people get arrested, and enough dumb, inexplicable comments are thrown around that you could write a book about them all. A special shout out goes to Mike "The Situation" who is so self-absorbed and full of himself he makes the other guidos look like normal people. I HIGHLY recommend that you take some time out of your Thursday at 10 PM to watch Jersey Shore on MTV. You won't regret it. I promise.

Thank you Kanad for the recommendation.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Candlebox - Far Behind

When Art Imitates Life

I saw "The Road" tonight, which was a disappointing flick considering how excited I was to see it. For those of you who don't know, "The Road" is a movie starring Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn from Lord of the Rings) and is about a man and his son's journey to survive in a post-apocalyptic world full of cannibals and other horrors. The setting of the movie is desperately bleak, barren, gray, and ugly as would be expected after the end of the world. My opinion of the movie isn't really important, but something I noticed was kind of interesting.

As I was watching the movie (which takes place almost exclusively outdoors), I really felt like I had been in the same setting that the characters found themselves. Since I've never time traveled to the future to see the end of the world, I was wondering why I felt so connected to the setting. In particular, there is one scene in the beginning of the film in which a group of cannibals exit a tunnel that really caught my attention. Hmm let's put the pieces together, bleak, barren, desolate, gray, and tunnel all together. Where could this movie have been filmed???? I know, it must be the Pennsylvania Turnpike!!! A few minutes later, they showed some cars with PA license plates, and was about 99% sure that the movie was filmed on or near the PA Turnpike. This enhanced my movie-going experience just slightly, since I felt like I had traveled the terrain along with the characters, but not enough to salvage the film.

After I came home from the movie, I went online and did a little research. Sure enough, "The Road" was filmed mostly on the closed portion of the PA Turnpike. Jackpot! The next few paragraphs are sourced from Wikipedia:

The Abandoned Pennsylvania Turnpike was used for much of production,^[7] with evidence shown at the eastern portal of the Sideling Hill Tunnel. The exterior of the tunnel was somewhat restored for filming, with the doors to the ventilation shaft repainted as well as the white paint near the base of the tunnel entrance being painted tan to match the rest of the exterior of the tunnels. (When the property was still owned by the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission, vandalism took place on the abandoned tunnels sometime in the 1980s, with the white paint used to cover up graffiti.) The same was done with the western portal to Sideling Hill as well as the eastern portal of the Rays Hill Tunnel. Filming did not take place on the western portal of the Rays Hill Tunnel towards Breezewood, Pennsylvania, as well as the Laurel Hill Tunnel further west due to the latter having been used by Chip Ganassi Racing for wind tunnel testing since 2004.

With a budget of $20 million,^[11] filming began in southwestern Pennsylvania in late February 2008 for eight weeks and moved on toLouisiana and Oregon.^[12] Pennsylvania, where most of the filming took place, was chosen for its tax breaks and its abundance of locations that looked post-apocalyptic: coalfields, dunes, and run-down parts of Pittsburgh.^[4] Filming was also done at the 1892 Amusement park (Conneaut Lake Park) after one of the parks buildings (the Dreamland Ballroom) was destroyed in a fire in February 2008. The beaches of Presque Isle State Park in Erie, Pennsylvania were also used. ^[13] Hillcoat also said of using Pittsburgh as a practical location, "It's a beautiful place in fall with the colors changing, but in winter, it can be very bleak. There are city blocks that are abandoned. The woods can be brutal. We didn't want to go the CGI world."

My point is this: many of you have heard me bitch about or experienced for yourself the awfulness of the ride from Philly to Pittsburgh, especially the western half of the trip. It's boring and brutal, and is hardly ever fun. It's nice to know the rest of the world agrees. Also, I'm glad that my 4 years in Pittsburgh helped prepare me for the apocalypse, since you know, Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas resemble what the world will look like after it goes to hell. Cheers Pittsburgh, I will always love you, despite your flaws.

The Perfect Weekend

Sometimes you forget. Sometimes it's even easy to forget. Going through life is tough, and it's easy to get caught up in the daily pressures and stresses of the day to day and forget. But sometimes, every once in a while, if you're really lucky, everything comes together perfectly. And you're able to remember.

This weekend, I remembered why I'm so lucky. Lucky to have such great friends. Lucky to have people who care about me. Lucky to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that no matter how far away we are or how long it has been since we've last seen each other, things aren't going to change between us. We can pick up right where we left off, and we won't miss a beat.

If you've talked to me at all over the past few months, you know how difficult things have been for me. I'm lost. I'm 23 years old, and my life has so many directions that it could take, it paralyzes me into inactivity. I know the things I want to accomplish in the long-run, but I have no idea about the intermediate steps I need to take to get there. Part of the reason for the confusion is that I rarely have time to think about the things I need to do to accomplish my goals. Between working 12 hours a day, trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, and keeping up with my daily routine, I often forget to step back, look at the big picture, and figure out if I'm on the right track. Luckily for me, this weekend provided me the perfect opportunity to step back, think for a few hours, and collect my thoughts. I'm referring of course to the 5 hour drive to and from Pittsburgh. Normally, on a trip out to Pittsburgh, the weather goes from sunny and pleasant in the Philly area to cloudy, gray, and rainy in the Pittsburgh region. Not this weekend. This weekend was the exact opposite. I left the rainy, crappy weather in Jersey, and made my way out to Pittsburgh where the weather was absolutely majestic. It was right then and there that I knew it was going to be a fantastic weekend.

As I continued the drive out, I thought a lot about the past. About college. About my friends there. About the good time that I had. I also thought about the future, and how things would never be the same, and how that upsets me. As I drove out, I realized that yes, things are never going to be the same. As much as I try to hold on to college and all that it represented when I visit Pittsburgh, it's never coming back. I've had this revelation many times before. This time though, I've finally begun to accept it, and can move forward with the confidence that while things might be different and life may be a little harder, it doesn't necessarily mean things will be worse.

The corollary to my previous point was my realization about my living situation. I've been back and forth between moving back to Pittsburgh and staying in the Philly area more times than I care to admit. I've changed my mind at least a dozen times about this topic. I finally now know without question, that Pittsburgh is not the right choice for me right now. I love the city of Pittsburgh and everything about it (except for the Parkway) and I know I would be happy living there. In the short-term, I would be happier living in Pittsburgh than Philly. However, I need to grow up. I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to experience life for myself, and start with a clean slate. These are things that I must do to grow and become the person who I want to be. So while I might be happier in the short-term in Pittsburgh, for the long-run, Philly is the right choice for me. That doesn't mean that I'll never be back living in Pittsburgh. In fact it's the opposite. I do see myself living in Pittsburgh in the future, just now right now. It's kinda funny actually, that Joe asked me a question and referred to Pittsburgh as my "home." And you know what, it really does feel like that most of the time.

Let's get back to this weekend. This weekend served as almost a de facto second Homecoming Week for Pitt. With Notre Dame in town, everyone decided to come back to the Burgh. I got to catch up with some people I haven't seen and talked to in a few years, and it felt really good to do that. Once such person was my old roommate, Ken, who I haven't spoken with in nearly 2 years. Most of you know that Ken and I had a falling out towards the end of college, which to be honest with you really sucked, since we were best friends for 3 years, and very formative years at that. The reasons for out falling out at this point really don't matter. What matters is that this weekend, we put the past behind us, buried the hatchet and became friends again. I had no idea the kind of burden this tiff had placed on me, until I felt the weight being lifted as Ken and I caught up and remembered some good times. It felt great, and I'm thankful for the opportunity that I had to do it.

As I bounced back and forth between everyone this weekend (the "Step Child of Divorced Parents" as Amy so appropriately calls it) I had an absolute blast. It was exactly the kind of weekend I needed, and allowed me to completely clear my head of all the craziness that was going on inside it. I returned to Jersey a new person, with a renewed sense of energy, and a restored purpose of achieving my goals and aspirations. I literally have been unable to wipe the smile off my face for the past 24 hours...and I want to thank all of you out there for making it possible. I love all of you more than you will ever know, and the relationships I have with you guys are my most cherished and prized possession.

Sometimes, when you're really lucky, everything comes together just perfectly; the people, the place, the time, and in this case even the weather. Sometimes, it all works out. And sometimes, you're able to remember how truly lucky you are for what you have. This past weekend was one of those weekends.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: NaS - If I Ruled the World

Lookalike Sighting: JA Happ

Since May, when JA Happ became a mainstay in the Phillies rotation, my mom and grandmother insisted that I look like him. I've probably watched the guy on TV for hours this year, and not once have I said, "Damn, I really look like that guy." I think there is a slight resemblance, but nothing too ridiculous. I was able to pretty much write it off as my mom and grandmother looking for things that really aren't there. I let the issue rest for a while, until it was interestingly brought up during the World Series. One of the guys at the client site who I would describe as a semi-serious Yankees fan comes up to me last week and says: "I was watching the game last night when Happ was pitching, and I said 'He looks really familiar to me. Where have I seen him before? Shit, he looks just like Jeff!'." He made it a point to tell me this early in the day, so clearly he saw a pretty striking resemblance. I've gone back and forth with a few people about whether I look like Happ or not, and the consensus seems to be mixed. I'm throwing it out for discussion right now: Do I or do I not look like the Phillies Rookie of the Year Candidate, 26-Year Old JA Happ?

2 interesting notes about Happ. Earlier in the series, completely unprovoked, Scotty sent me a text message that said, "I never realized how ugly happ was." I have never once mentioned to him that people think I look like Happ. Also, Happ and I share the same, how do I say, "follicle style." Take that for what it's worth.

I recommend you don't go just on the pictures I posted with the article, but do a quick Google Image search to get a good idea of what Happ looks like, and his resemblance to me. I'm looking forward to hearing the results.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: R.E.M. - It's the End of the World as We Know It

Burgh Weekend: Nov 13-15

For everyone in the Pittsburgh area, I wanted to let you know that I'll be coming out to the 'Burgh on November 13-15. I have no idea what my plans are yet, other than to catch up with all of you and have a good time. Not that I'm hating on the bar scene, but if anyone has any other ideas that'd be really cool as well. Amy mentioned something about a sports exhibit at Carnegie Science Center, and I think that sounds pretty sweet. I'm not sure if I want to attend the Pitt v. ND game, but I certainly will attend a tailgate if one is being thrown and beer and meat are flowing. And I definitely want to watch the Stillers game. I miss Yellow and Gold Sundays. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone next weekend!

Also, I'm not suicidal right now. Even though my Phils were knocked out of the playoffs by the Greedy Elitist Pigs, I'm still carrying a positive attitude. I do thank all of you for your concern for my well-being, as many of you know I tend to get violent during tough Phillies losses.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Frank Sinatra - High Hopes (Phillies Theme Song - 2009)

Sports: My Worst Enemy

DISCLAIMER: Before you all roll your eyes and skip over this article, let me tell you that it is not about sports. It is a personal piece about how sports impact my life. Enjoy.

Many of you know, and it has been well-documented on this blog, my passion and appreciation for sports. I spend hundreds of hours every year in front of my TV watching, in front of my computer reading, and in front of my friends talking, about sports. It is one of my foremost passions, especially the Phillies, and one of the things I love the most.

As I sit here in the middle of Super Sports Sunday (Eagles v. Giants, Favre's return to Lambeau, and Phillies v. Yankees) I got to thinking about the impact that sports have on my life. This is nothing new for me, as these thoughts have been developing over the past 24 months; and to be honest, the thoughts aren't all positive. In fact, over the past 2 years, I've began to realize the negative impact that sports have on my life. They are in order of least to most damaging, a strain on my wallet, health, and time. The financial impact is simple and palpable. I spent a good amount of change every year on tickets to games, fantasy sports, gambling, memorabilia, and collectibles. It has never really gotten out of control and everyone needs a hobby, so to me, the financial impact of sports on my life is negligible (although if I looked through my credit card statements I'd probably alter that statement).

The next detriment that sports has on my life relates to my health. Watching sports is a pretty passive activity. Some of you may argue that statement if you've ever seen me watch a Phillies playoff game or a Pitt Basketball March Madness game. But for the most part, watching sports involves sitting on my ass with varying amounts of unhealthy food and beverages to accompany me. Don't get me wrong there's nothing I love more than hanging out with friends and watching a game with some pizza, wings, and brews, but when it becomes excessive negative results may occur. Let's take Sundays for example. Instead of being outside running, walking around, or being active, I can easily park my ass on my couch from 1 PM to midnight and not be bored for a second (and I don't even have NFL Sunday Ticket!). The older I get, the lack of physical activity and intake of unhealthy food will become increasingly detrimental to my health. Some of those sports hours are going to have to be dedicated to physical activity, or I'm going to look like I did when I was 15...and no one wants to see that happen.

The final, and in my opinion, most serious negative consequence of my passion for sports is on my time. As someone who works close to 75 hours a week including travel time, my free time is extremely limited. I don't have time to work, sleep, and follow sports at the level I do now. If I'm going to do the things I want, no need to do with my life, the amount of time I spend on sports has to decline. If I'm going to prepare to start a business, sports has got to go. If I'm going to get in better shape, sports has got to go. If I'm going to be a better friend, sports has got to go. And if I want to improve my social life, which is lacking more than it ever has, sports has got to go.

I am in no way, shape, or form saying that I will or even need to give up sports completely. I can't and won't do that. What I am saying though is that I need to take a serious break and give up a decent amount of the time I spend following sports. It's just not worth delaying my hopes and dreams and becoming unhealthy for an activity that I'm not actively participating in. Maybe, one day, after I win my own, personal championships throughout my life, I can follow sports the way I do now without guilt. But right now, whenever I watch a game or spend a Sunday on the couch, I can't help but feel an ever-increasing sense of guilt. I know what is good for me, and way more often than not, I make the wrong decisions that hold me back in life instead of propelling me forward. I need to make some changes, and I need to start making them now.

- Kaps

PS - If I can land a job in the sports field, please ignore this post. It's a long shot, but you never know...

PSS - If you watched the Phillies game tonight, you know one more reason why I need to dump this nasty habit.

Song of the Day: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights