A New Beginning, and the Close of a Chapter

This past week was a whirlwind week for me. It started out innocently enough, as the project I've been working on for the past year continued to wind down. The hours were getting shorter, and we didn't really have all that much to do. I knew I had a few busy days scheduled in New York City, but I was looking forward to the change. Little did I know the chance that I'd go through by the end of the week.

I entered work on Tuesday expecting just another day. By 3:00 PM, I found out the work at my current client was done, and that I wouldn't be heading back there soon, or possibly ever again. I'd be starting a new project on Monday. Just like that, total upheaval.

This isn't to say that this isn't a welcomed change for me. In fact, I'm extremely excited about the new opportunity. I'm going to be working for on a project that is much more entrepreneurial in nature, is really exciting work, and will give me the opportunity to work in Philly and get to network with some of my friends in the office. Basically, everything I was asking for over the past year. However, as the news began to sink in, I couldn't help but feel a sort of sadness, an emptiness, now that I was no longer going to be working at the client. This may sound a little weird to all of you considering how much I've complained about the things I didn't like about this client: the long hours, the mundane nature of the work, the lack of work/life balance, the often unreasonable client demands, etc. With that being said, the one thing I never complained about, and the one thing that I absolutely loved about this client was the people. Let's start off with the people at the client site. They were extremely helpful, always patient, and never gave me a hard time, even when I was bothering them for information on a consistent basis. Some of the people I would consider friends, and we shared some great conversations over the past year where I learned about their families, their interests, and their passions. It was great getting to know them over the past 12+ months, and I hope to maintain my relationships with them into the future.

The other person who made this project bearable on its worst days, and fun on its best days, was my manager, Mark. Before this project started, Mark would have been just another anonymous face in the world who I never would have known. Today, I would consider Mark one of my best friends, a trusted confidant, and someone who I shared everything with over the past year. It's amazing how well you get to know someone when you spend 10-12 hours a day with them in a small office, especially when it's only the 2 of you for 8 months. I can honestly say that Mark knows more about me than just about anyone. That's the nature of the beast when you spend that much time together. I've often thought about how this project would have went for me if someone else were the manager, especially someone who I didn't get along with. Needless to say, I would have been absolutely miserable for a year, and I probably wouldn't be employed by my firm anymore, since I would have performed terribly and gotten canned, or been so miserable that I would have quit as soon as my signing bonus vested. Luckily, I never had to worry about that, and Mark made the project worthwhile and helped me get through those long days. I sincerely hope he feels the same way about my contributions as well.

It's so bizarre to think about how random events in your life can have such a huge impact. There are so many that have occurred during my 23 years, and I am thankful that most of them have been for the best. This project certainly was one of them. It could have been an abomination, it could have been devastating. Instead, I emerged a better person with more knowledge, and a sense of what I need to do to accomplish my goals.

My next project is going to present with a slew of new challenges that I will need to overcome. I can't count on the client being nearly as accommodating as my last client. I can't count on my manager supporting me as much as my last project. I can't take for granted the knowledge that I accumulated on my last project. However, I can move forward with the confidence that if one project went well, so can another. Let's hope that in 6 months, the expected duration of the project (and I use the term "expected" lightly), I can write another post with a positive tone. I'm looking forward to the future, but will always fondly remember the past...well at least the good parts.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Sponge - Wax Ecstatic

Must See TV

Last night I was introduced to one of the finest new shows on television. It's probably not going to win any Oscars nor will it be considered one of the finest shows on television. In fact, I'm pretty sure the show won't make it past one season. However, for sheer entertainment value, it's near the top of the list in my book. The show that I'm talking about? Jersey Shore.

For those of you who don't know, Jersey Shore is a new MTV show in the mold of "The Real World" that puts 8 "guidos" and "guidettes" together in a house in Seaside Heights, New Jersey for one magical summer. "The Real World" may have entertainment value for the drama that ensues, but it's taken to a whole new level when you introduce guidos into the mix. Just to clarify, "guidos" are the fine segment of our society who are also known as "douche bags," "meatheads," "New York assholes," and basically are the guys who were the topic of the hit YouTube video "My New Haircut." (If you've never seen it, you need to go watch it right now.) The guys on the show are your typical guidos: blowout haircut, huge muscles, lots of tats, talk funny, and are downright obnoxious and self-absorbed. The "guidettes," a term that I never knew existed before watching the show, are total whores with fake tans, fake boobs, bad attitudes, and a predisposition to starting drama.

Are you getting the picture? When you put these 8 people together in one house, the shenanigans that ensure are downright hilarious. There are fights, people get arrested, and enough dumb, inexplicable comments are thrown around that you could write a book about them all. A special shout out goes to Mike "The Situation" who is so self-absorbed and full of himself he makes the other guidos look like normal people. I HIGHLY recommend that you take some time out of your Thursday at 10 PM to watch Jersey Shore on MTV. You won't regret it. I promise.

Thank you Kanad for the recommendation.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Candlebox - Far Behind

When Art Imitates Life

I saw "The Road" tonight, which was a disappointing flick considering how excited I was to see it. For those of you who don't know, "The Road" is a movie starring Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn from Lord of the Rings) and is about a man and his son's journey to survive in a post-apocalyptic world full of cannibals and other horrors. The setting of the movie is desperately bleak, barren, gray, and ugly as would be expected after the end of the world. My opinion of the movie isn't really important, but something I noticed was kind of interesting.

As I was watching the movie (which takes place almost exclusively outdoors), I really felt like I had been in the same setting that the characters found themselves. Since I've never time traveled to the future to see the end of the world, I was wondering why I felt so connected to the setting. In particular, there is one scene in the beginning of the film in which a group of cannibals exit a tunnel that really caught my attention. Hmm let's put the pieces together, bleak, barren, desolate, gray, and tunnel all together. Where could this movie have been filmed???? I know, it must be the Pennsylvania Turnpike!!! A few minutes later, they showed some cars with PA license plates, and was about 99% sure that the movie was filmed on or near the PA Turnpike. This enhanced my movie-going experience just slightly, since I felt like I had traveled the terrain along with the characters, but not enough to salvage the film.

After I came home from the movie, I went online and did a little research. Sure enough, "The Road" was filmed mostly on the closed portion of the PA Turnpike. Jackpot! The next few paragraphs are sourced from Wikipedia:

The Abandoned Pennsylvania Turnpike was used for much of production,^[7] with evidence shown at the eastern portal of the Sideling Hill Tunnel. The exterior of the tunnel was somewhat restored for filming, with the doors to the ventilation shaft repainted as well as the white paint near the base of the tunnel entrance being painted tan to match the rest of the exterior of the tunnels. (When the property was still owned by the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission, vandalism took place on the abandoned tunnels sometime in the 1980s, with the white paint used to cover up graffiti.) The same was done with the western portal to Sideling Hill as well as the eastern portal of the Rays Hill Tunnel. Filming did not take place on the western portal of the Rays Hill Tunnel towards Breezewood, Pennsylvania, as well as the Laurel Hill Tunnel further west due to the latter having been used by Chip Ganassi Racing for wind tunnel testing since 2004.

With a budget of $20 million,^[11] filming began in southwestern Pennsylvania in late February 2008 for eight weeks and moved on toLouisiana and Oregon.^[12] Pennsylvania, where most of the filming took place, was chosen for its tax breaks and its abundance of locations that looked post-apocalyptic: coalfields, dunes, and run-down parts of Pittsburgh.^[4] Filming was also done at the 1892 Amusement park (Conneaut Lake Park) after one of the parks buildings (the Dreamland Ballroom) was destroyed in a fire in February 2008. The beaches of Presque Isle State Park in Erie, Pennsylvania were also used. ^[13] Hillcoat also said of using Pittsburgh as a practical location, "It's a beautiful place in fall with the colors changing, but in winter, it can be very bleak. There are city blocks that are abandoned. The woods can be brutal. We didn't want to go the CGI world."

My point is this: many of you have heard me bitch about or experienced for yourself the awfulness of the ride from Philly to Pittsburgh, especially the western half of the trip. It's boring and brutal, and is hardly ever fun. It's nice to know the rest of the world agrees. Also, I'm glad that my 4 years in Pittsburgh helped prepare me for the apocalypse, since you know, Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas resemble what the world will look like after it goes to hell. Cheers Pittsburgh, I will always love you, despite your flaws.

The Perfect Weekend

Sometimes you forget. Sometimes it's even easy to forget. Going through life is tough, and it's easy to get caught up in the daily pressures and stresses of the day to day and forget. But sometimes, every once in a while, if you're really lucky, everything comes together perfectly. And you're able to remember.

This weekend, I remembered why I'm so lucky. Lucky to have such great friends. Lucky to have people who care about me. Lucky to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that no matter how far away we are or how long it has been since we've last seen each other, things aren't going to change between us. We can pick up right where we left off, and we won't miss a beat.

If you've talked to me at all over the past few months, you know how difficult things have been for me. I'm lost. I'm 23 years old, and my life has so many directions that it could take, it paralyzes me into inactivity. I know the things I want to accomplish in the long-run, but I have no idea about the intermediate steps I need to take to get there. Part of the reason for the confusion is that I rarely have time to think about the things I need to do to accomplish my goals. Between working 12 hours a day, trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, and keeping up with my daily routine, I often forget to step back, look at the big picture, and figure out if I'm on the right track. Luckily for me, this weekend provided me the perfect opportunity to step back, think for a few hours, and collect my thoughts. I'm referring of course to the 5 hour drive to and from Pittsburgh. Normally, on a trip out to Pittsburgh, the weather goes from sunny and pleasant in the Philly area to cloudy, gray, and rainy in the Pittsburgh region. Not this weekend. This weekend was the exact opposite. I left the rainy, crappy weather in Jersey, and made my way out to Pittsburgh where the weather was absolutely majestic. It was right then and there that I knew it was going to be a fantastic weekend.

As I continued the drive out, I thought a lot about the past. About college. About my friends there. About the good time that I had. I also thought about the future, and how things would never be the same, and how that upsets me. As I drove out, I realized that yes, things are never going to be the same. As much as I try to hold on to college and all that it represented when I visit Pittsburgh, it's never coming back. I've had this revelation many times before. This time though, I've finally begun to accept it, and can move forward with the confidence that while things might be different and life may be a little harder, it doesn't necessarily mean things will be worse.

The corollary to my previous point was my realization about my living situation. I've been back and forth between moving back to Pittsburgh and staying in the Philly area more times than I care to admit. I've changed my mind at least a dozen times about this topic. I finally now know without question, that Pittsburgh is not the right choice for me right now. I love the city of Pittsburgh and everything about it (except for the Parkway) and I know I would be happy living there. In the short-term, I would be happier living in Pittsburgh than Philly. However, I need to grow up. I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to experience life for myself, and start with a clean slate. These are things that I must do to grow and become the person who I want to be. So while I might be happier in the short-term in Pittsburgh, for the long-run, Philly is the right choice for me. That doesn't mean that I'll never be back living in Pittsburgh. In fact it's the opposite. I do see myself living in Pittsburgh in the future, just now right now. It's kinda funny actually, that Joe asked me a question and referred to Pittsburgh as my "home." And you know what, it really does feel like that most of the time.

Let's get back to this weekend. This weekend served as almost a de facto second Homecoming Week for Pitt. With Notre Dame in town, everyone decided to come back to the Burgh. I got to catch up with some people I haven't seen and talked to in a few years, and it felt really good to do that. Once such person was my old roommate, Ken, who I haven't spoken with in nearly 2 years. Most of you know that Ken and I had a falling out towards the end of college, which to be honest with you really sucked, since we were best friends for 3 years, and very formative years at that. The reasons for out falling out at this point really don't matter. What matters is that this weekend, we put the past behind us, buried the hatchet and became friends again. I had no idea the kind of burden this tiff had placed on me, until I felt the weight being lifted as Ken and I caught up and remembered some good times. It felt great, and I'm thankful for the opportunity that I had to do it.

As I bounced back and forth between everyone this weekend (the "Step Child of Divorced Parents" as Amy so appropriately calls it) I had an absolute blast. It was exactly the kind of weekend I needed, and allowed me to completely clear my head of all the craziness that was going on inside it. I returned to Jersey a new person, with a renewed sense of energy, and a restored purpose of achieving my goals and aspirations. I literally have been unable to wipe the smile off my face for the past 24 hours...and I want to thank all of you out there for making it possible. I love all of you more than you will ever know, and the relationships I have with you guys are my most cherished and prized possession.

Sometimes, when you're really lucky, everything comes together just perfectly; the people, the place, the time, and in this case even the weather. Sometimes, it all works out. And sometimes, you're able to remember how truly lucky you are for what you have. This past weekend was one of those weekends.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: NaS - If I Ruled the World

Lookalike Sighting: JA Happ

Since May, when JA Happ became a mainstay in the Phillies rotation, my mom and grandmother insisted that I look like him. I've probably watched the guy on TV for hours this year, and not once have I said, "Damn, I really look like that guy." I think there is a slight resemblance, but nothing too ridiculous. I was able to pretty much write it off as my mom and grandmother looking for things that really aren't there. I let the issue rest for a while, until it was interestingly brought up during the World Series. One of the guys at the client site who I would describe as a semi-serious Yankees fan comes up to me last week and says: "I was watching the game last night when Happ was pitching, and I said 'He looks really familiar to me. Where have I seen him before? Shit, he looks just like Jeff!'." He made it a point to tell me this early in the day, so clearly he saw a pretty striking resemblance. I've gone back and forth with a few people about whether I look like Happ or not, and the consensus seems to be mixed. I'm throwing it out for discussion right now: Do I or do I not look like the Phillies Rookie of the Year Candidate, 26-Year Old JA Happ?

2 interesting notes about Happ. Earlier in the series, completely unprovoked, Scotty sent me a text message that said, "I never realized how ugly happ was." I have never once mentioned to him that people think I look like Happ. Also, Happ and I share the same, how do I say, "follicle style." Take that for what it's worth.

I recommend you don't go just on the pictures I posted with the article, but do a quick Google Image search to get a good idea of what Happ looks like, and his resemblance to me. I'm looking forward to hearing the results.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: R.E.M. - It's the End of the World as We Know It

Burgh Weekend: Nov 13-15

For everyone in the Pittsburgh area, I wanted to let you know that I'll be coming out to the 'Burgh on November 13-15. I have no idea what my plans are yet, other than to catch up with all of you and have a good time. Not that I'm hating on the bar scene, but if anyone has any other ideas that'd be really cool as well. Amy mentioned something about a sports exhibit at Carnegie Science Center, and I think that sounds pretty sweet. I'm not sure if I want to attend the Pitt v. ND game, but I certainly will attend a tailgate if one is being thrown and beer and meat are flowing. And I definitely want to watch the Stillers game. I miss Yellow and Gold Sundays. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone next weekend!

Also, I'm not suicidal right now. Even though my Phils were knocked out of the playoffs by the Greedy Elitist Pigs, I'm still carrying a positive attitude. I do thank all of you for your concern for my well-being, as many of you know I tend to get violent during tough Phillies losses.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Frank Sinatra - High Hopes (Phillies Theme Song - 2009)

Sports: My Worst Enemy

DISCLAIMER: Before you all roll your eyes and skip over this article, let me tell you that it is not about sports. It is a personal piece about how sports impact my life. Enjoy.

Many of you know, and it has been well-documented on this blog, my passion and appreciation for sports. I spend hundreds of hours every year in front of my TV watching, in front of my computer reading, and in front of my friends talking, about sports. It is one of my foremost passions, especially the Phillies, and one of the things I love the most.

As I sit here in the middle of Super Sports Sunday (Eagles v. Giants, Favre's return to Lambeau, and Phillies v. Yankees) I got to thinking about the impact that sports have on my life. This is nothing new for me, as these thoughts have been developing over the past 24 months; and to be honest, the thoughts aren't all positive. In fact, over the past 2 years, I've began to realize the negative impact that sports have on my life. They are in order of least to most damaging, a strain on my wallet, health, and time. The financial impact is simple and palpable. I spent a good amount of change every year on tickets to games, fantasy sports, gambling, memorabilia, and collectibles. It has never really gotten out of control and everyone needs a hobby, so to me, the financial impact of sports on my life is negligible (although if I looked through my credit card statements I'd probably alter that statement).

The next detriment that sports has on my life relates to my health. Watching sports is a pretty passive activity. Some of you may argue that statement if you've ever seen me watch a Phillies playoff game or a Pitt Basketball March Madness game. But for the most part, watching sports involves sitting on my ass with varying amounts of unhealthy food and beverages to accompany me. Don't get me wrong there's nothing I love more than hanging out with friends and watching a game with some pizza, wings, and brews, but when it becomes excessive negative results may occur. Let's take Sundays for example. Instead of being outside running, walking around, or being active, I can easily park my ass on my couch from 1 PM to midnight and not be bored for a second (and I don't even have NFL Sunday Ticket!). The older I get, the lack of physical activity and intake of unhealthy food will become increasingly detrimental to my health. Some of those sports hours are going to have to be dedicated to physical activity, or I'm going to look like I did when I was 15...and no one wants to see that happen.

The final, and in my opinion, most serious negative consequence of my passion for sports is on my time. As someone who works close to 75 hours a week including travel time, my free time is extremely limited. I don't have time to work, sleep, and follow sports at the level I do now. If I'm going to do the things I want, no need to do with my life, the amount of time I spend on sports has to decline. If I'm going to prepare to start a business, sports has got to go. If I'm going to get in better shape, sports has got to go. If I'm going to be a better friend, sports has got to go. And if I want to improve my social life, which is lacking more than it ever has, sports has got to go.

I am in no way, shape, or form saying that I will or even need to give up sports completely. I can't and won't do that. What I am saying though is that I need to take a serious break and give up a decent amount of the time I spend following sports. It's just not worth delaying my hopes and dreams and becoming unhealthy for an activity that I'm not actively participating in. Maybe, one day, after I win my own, personal championships throughout my life, I can follow sports the way I do now without guilt. But right now, whenever I watch a game or spend a Sunday on the couch, I can't help but feel an ever-increasing sense of guilt. I know what is good for me, and way more often than not, I make the wrong decisions that hold me back in life instead of propelling me forward. I need to make some changes, and I need to start making them now.

- Kaps

PS - If I can land a job in the sports field, please ignore this post. It's a long shot, but you never know...

PSS - If you watched the Phillies game tonight, you know one more reason why I need to dump this nasty habit.

Song of the Day: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights

The Never Say Die Phils

As I sit here in my road gray Brad Lidge jersey, I can't help but think about how amazing it is to be a Phillies fan right now. We have a bunch of extremely likable homegrown talent, an incredible desire to win, and we're NEVER out of a game. We're the reigning World Series Champs, and every game is a blast to watch. Tonight absolutely served as a perfect microcosm for the entire season. We sleepwalked through the first 7.5 innings, hanging on to a slim 2-1 lead because of Cliff Lee's brilliant performance. We had numerous opportunities to lock up the game and the series, but this team never makes it easy. Instead, we went down 4-2 on some lucky bloop hits and a crazy fluke play that benefitted the Rockies. When the dust cleared, we were down 4-2 with seemingly no hope of rallying for the victory. When am I going to learn to never lose faith?

After a quick strike out, the rally came alive with a hard fought single from Jimmy Rollins, and after the fielder's choice by Victorino, Utley drew a 2 out walk. With Ryan Howard strolling to the plate swinging a hot bat, everyone watching knew what was coming. Sure enough, 4 pitches later Howard drove a ball deep to left that scored Victorino and Utley, even though Victorino almost overran the bag because he was spectating along with the rest of us as Howard's ball shot through the cold Rocky air. After Werth's clutch single, the Phils had the 5-4 lead going into the bottom of the 9th.

It wouldn't be Brad Lidge starting the frame, but his time would come soon enough. Scott Eyre took the hill, who less than 24 hours prior had rolled his ankle and was last seen writhing in pain on the infield grass. He came in and pitched well, facing 3 lefties and a switch-hitter. He got 2 of the first 3 out, before Todd Helton came to the plate. With righty Troy Tulowitzki on deck, every Phillies fan knew it was going to come down to Lidge vs. Tulo, who had battled the night before with Lidge winning the matchup. Sure enough, Helton singled to center, and Lidge entered the game to face Tulowitzki. Lidge has gone through a horrendous season, blowing 11 saves, posting record numbers (bad ones), and losing his closing job less than 12 months after completing a flawless season and capping it off with a World Series victory. The entire fan base lost faith in him, but last night, he recorded a gutsy, albeit ugly, save in a one run game. Tonight, with runners on 1st and 2nd with 2 outs, and the chance to send the Phillies to the NLCS vs. the Dodgers, Lidge surely felt the pressure bestowed upon him. But what a relief it must have been, because human beings rarely have such golden opportunities to redeem themselves and wipe their slates completely clean. Before the series started, I predicted that Lidge would have the opportunity to, and would rightly claim redemption for his previous 6 months' struggles. On this night, he did not disappoint, clearly overmatching Tulowitzki who looked completely baffled and confused by Lidge's assortment of pitches. After he dropped a nasty 2-2 slider, the game was over, and the Phils had booked their ticket to LA to meet the Dodgers.

It is so satisfying to see such a great human being completely down and lost, only to watch him rise through the adversity and challenges that keep him from achieving success. Tonight, Brad Lidge finished his crawl through a river of shit, and guess what, he came out clean on the other side. Celebrate this one, Brad. You deserve it.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Fugees - Ready or Not

You Know You Have Problems When...

...your 7 year old cousin tells you, "Wow Jeff, you lost SO much hair." This comment was followed up with a "Jeff, your beard is so disgusting." Apparently, my cousin doesn't appreciate my grooming habits. I always thought the goatee took attention off of my head. When a 7 year old notices your lack of hair, maybe it's time to start looking into Bosley or one of those hair "solutions."

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Puff Daddy feat. Notorious B.I.G. and Busta Rhymes - Victory

Interesting Thought About Growing Up

I was having a conversation on instant messenger with Casey yesterday at work, because what else would I be doing while I'm at work. Besides Casey handicapping his upcoming cornhole match and sending me scandalous pictures of Big Ben, we got to talking about his vacation. Casey is driving down to Florida next week with his parents to visit his grandparents. He also told me this will probably his final trip to Florida, after he's made so many over the past 23 years. With that I got to thinking how the definition of "family" is changing drastically before my eyes. In a time not that long ago, "family" vacations meant hopping on a plane with my parents to Florida, going on week-long trips to North Carolina, or spending a long weekend at Hershey Park. At some point, rather quietly, those trips started falling off one-by-one until without even realizing it, none of those trips are left.

As I thought more about it, the cancellation of the family vacations seemed more of a microcosm of the changing definition of family. When I was growing up, I always kind of assumed that I would be a part of my parents' family one day and have my own the next. What I didn't realize, and what no one failed to mention to me is that there is a gap between leaving your childhood family and starting your own. For some people, this transition is rather quick, as they leave college with a significant other, spend lots of time with that person, and then get engaged. Even though there are a few years without a specific family, when you're close to engagement with a significant other, and you will go to family functions with them and vacation with them, you're basically family. For others, myself included, the transition from family to family takes a little bit longer, and is somewhat painful along the way.

Right now of course, I'm still basically a part of my childhood family. I live at home with my parents, and not much has changed since I was a kid except for the fact that I'm working 60 hours a week. But in the very near future, I'm going to move out on my own, and at that point, I won't really have a family. Sure, my parents will always be there for me; they're amazing people. But soon, I'm going to start the interesting process of finding my way without a family to come home to every night, Shortly after that, I'll be seeking to find/start my own.

Just another challenge that you never realize is coming until it's right in front of your face. Is there even a way to prepare for these things or to see them coming? Life man, life.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind

Random Thoughts from My Hotel Room

Interesting: The thermostat in hotel rooms can apparently go down to 40.0 degrees fahrenheit. I pushed it as low as it could go.

Bad: The thermostat in my room is broken and feels like 75 degrees even when the thermostat is set to 40. If it functioned properly, I could get frostbite.

Good: Drinking with friends on Wednesday nights after a shitty day of work. Thank you Kanad and Shamit.

Bad: Brad Lidge.

Bad: Rain.

Bad: Working the last 2 Saturdays.

Good: Catching up on life this weekend because I'm not working Saturday (I hope.)

Dead: Any chance at landing a date on Match.com (follow-up post this week)

Good: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Bad: The consequences of eating out every night when you stay over for work (Getting fat.)

Entertaining: Casey Spirk's cornhole team.

Over: This blog post. Good night.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Notorious B.I.G. - Who Shot Ya?

An Odd Piece of Mail

Last Thursday I was at work performing controls testing (as usual) at work when I got a text. I didn't have time to check it right away, and when I finally got around to looking at it 90 minutes later, I saw that it was from my mom. The text said, "You got 2 packages. One is from Ohio and looks like DVDs and the other is from New York and looks like tickets of some sort." I knew the package from Ohio was my It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia DVDs that I ordered on eBay. But the "ticket" envelope was kind of baffling to me. I knew I hadn't ordered any tickets recently, so I had no idea what was in the envelope. Little did I know how baffling things would get.

I sent my mom a text back and asked her to open the tickets envelope. She wasn't home, but said she'd open it when she got back. About 2 hours later I get a text from my mom, "The envelope has $500 worth of American Express Gift Cheques in it and it doesn't say who it's from." WHAT THE FUCK?!? I immediately called my mom seeking more information. All we could ascertain was that the envelope came from New York, from a zip code starting with 100 and the last 2 digits cut off. The gift cheques were wrapped in a single sheet of paper with a small gold seal. The paper simply said (in type print, not handwritten):

Jeff:

Thank you.

Enjoy.

The envelope was typed as well, so there was no handwriting to try and figure out. It's been 4 days since I received the envelope, and I seriously have no idea who sent me $500. I have gone through every imaginable scenario and thought of every single person I know who lives in New York, and I can't think of anyone who would send me $500 anonymously. It's actually kind of disturbing, believe it or not. If I did something that warranted $500, I sure as hell think I would remember it, but I can't think of a single thing I would do that would lead someone to do that. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those mysteries I don't figure out any time soon.

This situation kind of reminds me of when I was in college and some mystery person was sending me all kinds of mail for Bosley, Hair Club for Men, and even an island off the East Coast called "Bald Head Island." I thought it was hilarious, and even offered a dinner to the person who fessed up to the deed, but no one ever admitted to it. Just so you all know, that offer still stands.

To whoever did send me $500 anonymously, I hope you understand how much I appreciate it. I hope at some point you come forward so I can properly thank you for your deed. I believe that one of the most selfless things someone can do is give to someone else without recognition for their actions. Most people want to see a small form of gratitude just so they understand that their gift meant something. I guess if you know someone well enough though, it doesn't matter if you see the gratitude or they ever have the opportunity to thank you, because you know the kind of person they are and don't need to hear the words "Thank You" to understand the appreciation. So to Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Anonymous, thank you not only for the $500, but also the life lesson about what it means to truly give. It is not one I will forget quickly.

Now if I only had the time to actually enjoy the $500...

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Flickerstick - Bleeding

It's Time to Come Clean

It's been pretty obvious over the past few months that interest has been waning in the blog. There hasn't been a decent comment in over 2 months, and I blame that on the long time in between posts, the lack of substance in the past few posts, and it being the summer and people spending less time reading my blog and more time out in the sun and on vacation. Well, it's time to change all that, garner up some interest in the blog, and get people talking again.

So I have a confession to make. I have a secret that I've been hiding for about 2 months now. I've been thinking about coming clean for a while, and it's finally time to do it. One of my best friends once told me that I need to be more open and honest with my friends, so I'm doing that now.

Here goes: I'm one of the millions of people trying the online dating scene. Feels good to get that off my chest. On July 1, I signed up for a 3 month trial at Match.com. I'll be the first person to admit that I had a HUGE stigma when it came to online dating. I thought it was only for desperate, weird, creepy, ugly, older, and (insert negative adjective here) people. However, due to some strong urging from my Manager and a little bit of open-mindedness, I've realized that is totally not the case. You can definitely find down to earth, attractive people in the 20-30 age group if you search for a few minutes.

Online dating is really for people who are looking for something they weren't able to find in other places. This subset of America is not only gigantic, but takes a cross-section of all types of people. On Match.com, you'll find plenty of attractive people, plenty of creepers, and plenty of normal people. Basically, it's just like every other aspect of society. In fact, I'd be willing to bet you find a lot more down to earth, humble people online than you would in "real life."

In my calculated, crazy mind, online dating works because it's efficient. It brings efficiency to dating. Instead of trying to go on blind dates, meet people at bars, or any of the other ways people are meeting each other these days, you can go online, knock out tons of people who don't fit your criteria, and then hope that the ones who do match will actually respond to you.

Anyway, you're probably all wondering how my online dating experience has gone. Well, let's suffice it to say it's gone pretty similarly to my offline dating experience. Basically, it's going nowhere, fast. Much of the blame rests on me, as I half-assed my profile the first time I put it online. It took me about a month to get around to changing it, and I guess by that time, many people had already seen my crappy profile, and weren't willing to take a second look. I have e-mailed 3 different people (gotten zero responses), winked at 4 different people (the equivalent of a Facebook poke - also zero responses), was winked at by someone who I didn't find very desirable, and received an e-mail from a girl who was seriously illiterate. My profile has been viewed 82 times, but only the 2 people mentioned earlier have thought to respond. So yeah, no dates yet. But I'm trying to reach out to more people to see what happens.

Also, I've come across some interesting things throughout my search of the Match.com universe. I've found someone who I graduated high school with, who I never thought would be online dating in a million years. Like I said earlier, people looking for something they couldn't find elsewhere. I've also found some of the readers of this blog on Match.com. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, but for a few of you, just know that I know.

As the last month of my subscription begins, I promise to keep you all up to date on any developments in the online dating world. I really am hoping to get at least 1 date out of this thing, if for no other reason to have a great story to tell all of you.

So if you're thinking about online dating, give it a shot. It's seriously not that bad, and there are certainly worse ways to meet people. Just beware, it's pretty pricey, and these sites will find a way to nickel and dime you to death. Good luck.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Wiz Khalifa - Say Yeah

Follow Up To Brett Favre Post

You knew this was coming. Admit it. When you signed onto ESPN.com at some point this afternoon, you thought, "I can't wait to read Kaps's blog tonight. He's gonna go off about Brett Favre." And you were damn right.

Brett Favre has done it again. A mere 3 weeks after he "retired for good," he's back. Favre signed a 1 year contract with the Vikings today for, get this, $10M-$12M! Just to remind you, Brett Favre went 1-5 down the stretch last year with the Jets and single-handedly cost them a playoff spot with his exorbitant amount of interceptions. Yet he's being hailed as a hero, and many "experts" are now picking the Vikings as the NFC favorites. Are you freakin kidding me? Brett Favre hasn't had a solid 16 game season since 2004. He throws WAY too many interceptions, and he's coming into his 4th new offense in 4 years (coaching change in Green Bay his last year there). Give me a break, he's going to stink. I honestly can say that if I were a Vikings fan, I'd rather have Sage Rosenfels as my QB.

But I'm not here to talk about Brett Favre's potential as a QB. I'm here to talk about his decision-making, loyalty, and viability as a teammate. Like I said last time, Brett Favre changes his mind more than a high school girl choosing a prom dress. I apologize to all the teenage girls out their choosing prom dresses, I never should have insulted you by classifying you with Brett Favre. Brett Favre is much, much, much worse than all of you. No, he's the person who samples 15 flavors at your favorite ice cream joint, he's the person who shops for 3 hours and comes home with 1 shirt, and the girls with the prom dresses, all rolled into one. He literally makes me sick. When I logged onto ESPN today and saw him in his purple No.4 jersey, I wanted to throw up.

Let me put it to you like this. No one likes an indecisive person. Everyone wants to be around people who make a decision, follow their instincts, and live with the consequences. Instead, Brett Favre has trampled on 2 more quarterbacks (Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson, meet Aaron Rodgers). He has taken another franchise for a spin and held them hostage for most of the offseason, who now plan on plugging Favre into their next preseason game this week. He has also disrupted team chemistry, caused unnecessary distractions, and expects to be hailed as a hero. To be honest, I blame the Vikings as well for enabling this travesty to happen.

OK, I've gone on long enough. I could go on for hours, but I'll stop it here. Just another huge black eye on the legacy of the once proud quarterback. Brett, you're pathetic. I hope you tear your ACL in the first preseason game...and so does John David Booty. How dare you steal his number and make him switch to 9!

- Kaps

PS - Please tell me how you feel about this. I would love to know some other opinions.

Song of the Day: Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade

Follow-up to Twitter Post

Maybe Twitter isn't so bad. If it keeps giving us little nuggets like this, I might even join up.

From TJ Ford's (NBA Point Guard) Twitter Page: "Up early.. Takin a dump then wash my hands brush my grill & off to be the best PG.. Doubt me if u want. Hard work pays off."

Wow, that's fantastic, TJ. Thanks for sharing!

- Kaps

Song of the Day: RHCP - Californication

Brett Favre...It's About Time

Never before has an athlete who played for teams I couldn't care less about (Packers and Jets) angered me as much as Brett Favre. Over the past 3 years, this prima donna has changed his mind about retirement more than a 16 year old girl changes her mind about which prom dress to buy. Every year, he announces his "retirement," which comes complete with a boatload of tears (see picture, right) and a speech about how much he'll miss the game. Undoubtedly, 5 months later, Favre will make his "glorious" return to football, but not before John Clayton and every other football analyst has spent hours upon hours contemplating Favre's return. After the first year, we all got really sick of it. After the second year, he was a laughing stock. Once the third year came around (this year), I think he generally incensed many people, yours truly included.

Why does Favre anger me so much, besides the hours I have to spend watching coverage of him throwing footballs to high school kids in Mississippi on SportsCenter? Let's see. He put his franchise of 15 years in a complete bind when he retired the second time, after they had passed the proverbial "keys" to the franchise to up and coming quarterback Aaron Rodgers. When Favre decided to come back, they had to an impossible decision to make. Either scrap their season plays to appease the face of their franchise and a man literally idolized by their fan base or release the "legend" and pretty much incense every person in Wisconsin. The Packers made the right call (in my mind) and traded Favre to the Jets, where he could continue his career without destroying their franchise. Of course, this was after a huge war of words through the media which polarized the fan base and probably caused permanent mental damage to Aaron Rodgers, who has pretty much been treated like a bastard step-child ever since he was drafted 20 spots lower than he was supposed to go.

After causing all this commotion, you would think Favre would have had enough. Wrong. He announced his retirement (again) after last season, and promised this would be it. Liar. He had shoulder surgery a few months back, and everyone knew it would be a matter of time before he attempted a comeback. During this time, the Minnesota Vikings had started a long and painful courtship with the former star, and seemed destined to sign him when he returned. The Minnesota Vikings fans were geared up, extremely excited that they were going to get an over-the-hill quarterback who went 1-4 down the stretch last year and threw enough interceptions to remind fans of Ryan Leaf-esque incompetence from 1999-2001. Over the last few weeks, everyone knew Favre would be returning...until he didn't.

Today, Brett Favre announced that he would not be returning to football, and that this was the hardest decision he had ever made (said that before). If you ask me, the Vikings are better off (Rosenfels is under-rated), Favre is better off (can stop destroying franchises), and the viewers of ESPN are certainly better off (can focus all of their energy on who is going to trade for Roy Halladay). I say, good riddance, Brett Favre. Peace. Siyonara. Good bye. Please don't think about announcing either, no one wants to hear what you have to say. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry

Twitter Has Gone Too Far

I must admit that over the past 6 months, I have been amazed at the power and influence Twitter has had on American society. In our never-ending quest for constant, instant communication, Twitter has become the next technology craze, following in the likes of Facebook, MySpace, and the ever-popular "whisper down the lane." Athletes are Twittering during games, politicians are updating us on their vacation plans, and people all over the country are "Tweeting" about the laundry machine that turned their whites into pinks.

Ever since Twitter was first introduced to the world, I've swayed between "I couldn't care less about Twitter" to "This shit is really starting to annoy me." Lately, I've been feeling much more of the latter. Now before I get into why, let me say that I absolutely see the value in Twitter. Athletes and other famous people can completely circumvent an increasingly biased media and their fans and supporters can "communicate" with them in ways never thought imaginable. Businesses can use the tool to advertise to their target market or differentiate themselves to their customers. And people like you and I can use the tool to stay connected to the athletes, celebrities, businesses, and friends we care about the most. Just because I'm losing my hair, doesn't mean I don't see the value in new technology.

Here's where I get annoyed. On Monday, ESPN broke a story that Steve Nash would be signing a 2 year $22 million extension with the Phoenix Suns. The article went on to say that the contract would be "formally announced through Steve Nash's personal Twitter page later that day." Does anyone else see the problem here? When did it become acceptable to formally announce anything in a forum that only allows for 150 characters or less? Shouldn't something like a $22 million extension to a future Hall of Fame point guard be announced through a press conference? Think about it, does Steve Nash even know he has a Twitter account, or is it managed by his agent/publicist? A little formality and personal participation goes a long way.

My complaint about Twitter as it relates to Steve Nash's contract is relatively minor. I really don't care all that much how the contract is announced, because ultimately, Steve Nash will be playing for the Suns for 2 more years, and that is what matters. In fact, Twitter often humors me, especially when it relates to athletes and celebrities posting completely embarrassing and unnecessary information about themselves. Finally, a way to learn how dumb some of these people actually are!

However, I do have a serious complaint about Twitter that I think does have some merit. My main gripe with Twitter goes back to something all of you have undoubtedly heard me mention many times before: As our society becomes more "connected" through "advanced" forms of communication, we become increasingly disconnected as a group of people. What is now a "Tweet" was once a text message, which was once an instant message, which was once a phone call, which ultimately used to be a face to face conversation.

Be very careful folks. One day soon you're going to wake up and wonder how we turned into a society incapable of communicating with each other face to face.

Of course, you'll all be calling me a hypocrite when I get my own Twitter account...which will not happen until I start my own business. Until then, I'll send and receive information through antiquated forms of communication like my mouth, my body language, and of course, my highly publicized blog.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Jay-Z - DOA (Death of Autotune)

Vote for VIC

Just in case you haven't done so yet, if you're a Phillies fan, VOTE FOR VICTORINO! He's one of the Final 5 players fighting for the 33rd spot on the NL All-Star roster. He's been flip-flopping with Pablo Sandoval over the past 2 days for the top spot, so every vote counts. If you have any doubts of why you should vote for Victorino, look no further than the brilliant marketing campaign he came up with (on his own, I might add) called "Vote Bran-Torino." In a genius move linking Banke's and my baseball interests, Victorino teamed up with Tigers 3rd baseman, Brandon Inge, who is fighting for the final spot in the AL race.

So "Vote Bran-Torino" as many times as you like until 4PM Thursday. Go Phils!

EPILOGUE: 10:10 PM - Shane Victorino just hit a walk off single to give the Phils a 3-2 win vs. the Reds.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: LL Cool J - Doin It

Late Night Quickie

Useless piece of information that I felt I needed to share with all of you. The Cincinnati Reds' pitching coach is named "Dick Pole." Let that stew for a minute.

Seriously? He couldn't go by Richard, Ricky, or his middle name (Henry)? Well, at least he provides me some humor 2-3 times a game during the 6-7 games we play the Reds each year.

Can anyone think of a better name than Dick Pole? It's quite a gargantuan task. Clearly, he wins the "Best Porn Name" post from a few weeks ago...and he doesn't even have to use the formula.

- Kaps

Epilogue: Michael Hunt is a sportswriter in Milwaukee.

Well, here's the answer to my question: Best Dirty Sports Names

And yes, I've fully digressed into a 10 year old, and I'm damn proud of it.

Song of the Day: NaS - One Mic

Destiny's Child's "Bugaboo" Showcases Rapid Change in Technology

Here comes another wacky music post.

The date: July 6, 1999. Destiny's Child releases "The Writing's on the Wall," the album will push them into superstar status. It featured such singles as "Bills, Bills, Bills" and the mega-hit, "Say My Name." Of course, one of the other singles off the album was "Bugaboo," a song detailing some of the more popular technologies of the day.

Needless to say, I was listening to the radio on my way home from work today, when "Bugaboo" came through the speakers. Sadly, hearing this song was actually refreshing, probably because I haven't heard it in about 9.5 years. As I was grooving to the bass-infused beat, I realized how ridiculous the chorus sounded. Let's break it down, line by line.

"You make me wanna throw my pager out the window..."

To be honest, I think pagers were out of style for everyone whose profession wasn't drug dealing by 1999. Even so, the ladies of DC felt the need to mention them in this song. Go ahead girls, throw your pagers out the window. No one uses them any more.

"...tell MCI to cut the phone calls..."

MCI, once the thorn in AT&T's side that sent them into a tailspin for the better part of the 2000s, was all the rage in 1999. Of course, their chairman, Bernie Ebbers, was overstating their revenues during this time and taking out personal loans from the company, but hey, who's counting? MCI is now a shell of its former self, and has been consumed by telecom giant, Verizon.

"...have AOL make my e-mails stop..."

I had AOL back in 1995, along with the rest of America. Then cable modems were introduced to the world, and people began to wise up and realize they didn't need to spend $24.95 for a dumb voice that said "You've Got Mail!" (although it did inspire that wonderful Tom Hanks movie). After a failed merger with Time Warner, AOL has now reformed as AOL LLC, and is a subsidiary of Time Warner. Do you know anyone who uses AOL anymore? If you do, are they over the age of 55? I thought so.

It's amazing how quickly things change when it comes to technology, especially when the accounting scandal era and tech bubble bursting is shoved in the middle of your time period. In 10 years, "Three Quarters Left" will re-visit this post and see how far technology has come.

In the meantime, I leave you with the 2009 version of Bugaboo:

"You make me wanna throw my iPhone out the window..."

"...tell Verizon to cut the phone calls..."

"...have HotMail make my e-mails stop..."

Well, some of us are still stuck in 1999.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Talib Kweli - Stand to the Side

Throwing out Some Press

I know that my blog doesn't carry around the greatest pull, but for all the Phillies fans of this blog, I recommend The Phils Blog. One of my good friends, Josh Semless, recently started this blog as a summer project, and he's been doing a great job with it. It's updated often, unlike some other blogs you may read (Three Quarters Left), and provides a smart, interesting perspective on the Fightins. It's a nice alternative to the recently horrenous PhilliesNation, which has been highly disappointing since the departure of its most prolific (and best) writer, Tim Malcolm. Even if you just like baseball and not the Phils, give it a read. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

- Kaps

Song of the Day: Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down

Porn Names

At work today, my manager asked me a really important question:  "Jeff, do you know your porn name?"  He went on to explain how there's a formula to arrive at any person's porn name, were he or she to venture into the business.  I really didn't need much of an explanation though, since I had been playing the porn name game since junior or senior year of high school.  For those of you who don't know, your porn name is your middle name followed by the name of the street you grew up on.  For example, my porn name is Lou Jacamar.  On the porn name scale, I give it an 8 out of 10.  Any porn name that uses a phrase that can be construed as sexual is always solid (e.g. jack, rub, dick, etc.)  Some people have really terrible porn names, and others of you will find your porn name hilarious.

Of all my friends where I'm aware of both variables to their porn name, I have to give the crown to Kanad.  His porn name of "Rio Sandpiper" is far and away the best name I've heard.  Could be a porn star, could be a European footballer.

So I ask all of you loyal readers out there, what is your porn name?  I'll award a champ after all of you post.  My prediction, less than 4 postings.  Should be a fierce competition.

Editor's Note:  The man in the picture doesn't have a porn star name, but he certainly freakin looks like one.  I'll let you non-NBA fans guess who.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Jay-Z - Brooklyn's Finest (feat. Notorious B.I.G.)

Movie Review: The Hangover

When I first saw the previews for The Hangover, I thought it looked atrocious.  I had no interest in seeing it, and had passed it off as another stupid comedy that I would be skipping.  As the weeks passed leading up to the movie's premiere, I had been hearing increasingly solid press about it, and my interest began to pique.  Once people I know saw the movie, all of whom praised its glory, I decided I needed to see The Hangover.

I went in with decently high expectations, especially after hearing the comparisons to Superbad, the gold standard of modern day comedies.  After 22 minutes of previews, the movie finally began.  The opening scene was interesting, showing the characters in the middle of the action instead of progressing through the action naturally.  I'll admit it, I was intrigued.  I don't want to give away too much of the movie, so I'll hit on some key points about the rest.

Zack Galafinakis was funny as Alan (the fat brother-in-law), and it was good to see that his character took on a little bit different development than the traditional funny fat guys.  However, he came up a little bit short in his humor, and wasn't quite able to carry much of the movie on his own.

Ed Helms (Stu) really stretched his range from the lovable Andy Bernard on The Office to...playing Andy Bernard's twin brother named Stu Price.  Literally, the exact same character as he plays on The Office.  I could almost hear him say, "That was an over-re-ac-tion."  Had some funny moments, but his character was very predictable.

Bradley Cooper (Phil) played the typical douche bag friend.  Didn't add all that much to the movie, but definitely was necessary to keep things moving.  I'm guessing the girls will enjoy the shirtless scene.

Heather Graham's boobs still look fantastic...but on the other hand there was way too much dick in this movie, which has become a disturbing trend in comedies recently.

All in all, the movie was very funny.  I laughed throughout, and enjoyed the story.  There were a few classic moments, especially with the baby and the gay Asian guy, played by Ken Jeong (Knocked Up neo-natal doctor).  To me, he completely carried the movie when he was in it, and I found myself laughing hysterically every time he was on the screen.  I also enjoyed Mike Tyson's cameo, and enjoyed the way he made fun of himself.

Compared to Superbad, The Hangover really wasn't close, even though I did enjoy it.  There's simply not enough classic moments, not enough laughs, and it won't retain much quotability to land it in the upper echelon of comedies.  I would recommend seeing it, as it will definitely entertain you for 100 minutes and keep you laughing throughout.

Grade:  B+/B

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Clipse - Grindin

Nsync - Girlfriend (Remix)...The Most Influential Song of the Last 10 Years

Betcha that headline raised some eyebrows.  No, I'm not crazy.  I can make a good case for the Girlfriend Remix being the most influential song over the last decade...and I'm going to prove it.

Let me take you back to a simpler time, a time when most of us were still awkward high schoolers, well let's face it, most of us still are.  The year was 2002.  NSync had just released "Pop," the album that had no shot at living up to the record breaking success of "No Strings Attached."  The teeny bopper girls still ate it all up, but the album didn't have the same feel as No Strings Attached.  Quite simply, America's tastes were changing.  The Backstreet Boys were completely removed from the scene and were nowhere to be found.  Christina Aguilera was a full-fledged whore, and Britney Spears's act was starting to get old.  Bubblegum pop was dying, quickly.

While "Pop" didn't quite have the same success as "No Strings Attached" it did churn out some #1 hits.  One such hit was the Girlfriend Remix, featuring Nelly.  It was played often at high school dances, proms, and clubs, and received a good deal of play on the radio.  Pop song, lots of play, featuring rapper with a band-aid on his face, whatever, to be forgotten about forever.  Now let's revisit the 6-12 months following the Girlfriend Remix.  NSync broke up, and everyone thought they would never he heard from again, especially that douche bag with the ramen noodle haircut.  Not so fast.  18 months after NSync broke up, Justin Timberlake released a solo album...and the first single featured Clipse, and was produced by Pharrell, and was reviewed in Vibe and XXL.  What the fuck?

Starting to see the connection here?  Without Nelly bringing that little bit of street cred to the ultra boy band, JT has no shot of ever doing a record with Pharrell and Clipse.  Once Pharrell produced for him and he was featured with Clipse, there was no looking back.  He's since done tracks with 50 Cent, Snoop, and TI, been produced by Timerland and Pharrell, hosted the MTV Movie Awards and SNL, has fucked every hot celebrity in Hollywood (including Jessica Biel), and is unquestionably the biggest male celeb in pop music, and one of the biggest celebs period.  And let's not forget about "Dick in a Box."

How did all this happen?  You guessed it, Girlfriend Remix was the catalyst.  Without that song, there's no telling where JT would be right now.  My guess, probably hanging out in Memphis with the Memphis Cheaters, I mean Tigers, basketball team.  Instead, he's one of the most influential people in pop culture, while his band members are coming out of the closet and appearing on Dancing with the Stars.  I could make a sequel to the post about how the song was one of the top 3 influential moments in hip-hop as well.  But I'll let you all argue that one out.  Peace.

- Kaps

Song of the Day - NSync - Girlfriend (Remix) featuring Nelly

New Yankee Stadium Review

This weekend I had the privilege to see the Phillies play the Yankees at New Yankee Stadium in the Bronx.  The first 8.5 innings of the game were amazing, but we're not going to talk about the MOTHER FUCKING BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, GOT IT?!?!  But this post is a review of the stadium, not a write-up about the game.

Before we get to that, I have to comment on the train ride to New York.  First off, I didn't enjoy the ride all that much.  I attended an open bar from 9-12 the night before, and I don't really remember much from 12:30-2:30 AM.  So needless to say, I wasn't feeling all that hot on the train.  Couple that with the fact that the A/C wasn't working on the train, and you have a long hour and a half ride.  Of course, we ran into a couple of middle-aged women who were also heading up to the game (actually, like half the people on the train were Phillies fans going to the game) and we were chatting them up for a while.  Like all Phillies fans, they were extremely classy and were not so discreetly pouring mini bottles of vodka into their water bottles.  Good times!!!  After showing them the way on the subway, they told us to call them if we go to any Sunday games.  Probably won't, but apparently the one lady's daughter is an 18 year old cheerleader who is going to attend Pitt in the fall.  So who knows, maybe I'll save that number for a while.

Anyway, we got a nice bonus on the subway to the Bronx, as this group of 4 guys hopped on the train, started pumping a boombox, and doing ridiculous flips and dance moves on the train.  After their act, I wondered out loud, "Can I pay these guys?"  I received a quick answer when the youngest of the kids walked around with a hat looking for change.  Nothing in life is free.

When we got off the train, we walked out and observed the gargantuan structure staring us in the face, New Yankee Stadium.  As Old Yankee Stadium is still sitting across the street, the size comparison was stark; it's not even close.  New Yankee dwarfs its older brother.  It's a giant concrete structure that looks kind of like a coliseum from the outside.  There's not much decoration on the outside, besides some giant pictures of current Yankee stars.  Once we got inside, it seemed to be much more of the same.  Very big, and very concrete.  If you've been to Old Yankee Stadium, the concourses in the new one are 4-5x the size.  Even if 55,000 people (capacity) showed up to a game, which never happens because the seats are too damn expensive, there would be plenty of room for everyone.

After walking around the concourse for a while, we went to see Monument Park, which is basically the Yankee Hall of Fame for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last 75 years.  This is where the flaws of the stadium began to show (and there are many).  To get into Monument Park, you have to walk through an extremely narrow staircase that for some ungodly reason is unlit.  The hallway is way too narrow for the amount of people trying to cram into Monument Park, and once you finally get into the exhibit it's not much better.  I hadn't been to Monument Park at Old Yankee Stadium, but apparently there was about twice as much room at the old stadium to walk around.  However, the exhibits in Monument Park were astounding, you're literally on top of the field and the home bullpen, and it's pretty amazing to be a witness true baseball history.  Of course, the best part of Monument Park was the member of the staff who welcome the "fans" to the park.  His job was to literally stand on a porch, and scream "Welcome to Monument Park, fam!  No lines here, fam!  Move along now, fam, no lines here!"  Of course, he was actually saying, "fans," but it sounded like "fam," and it was hilarious either way.  Unless your name is Kanad, you probably find the last few sentences completely useless.  I don't really care.  I type what I want, I'm the President.

After Monument Park, we walked up to the Yankee Museum.  The museum was really sweet because it contained all kinds of rare artifacts in the vein of the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown.  The best exhibit though, and probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen is the collection of autographed baseballs contained in the exhibit.  The first ball is signed by Don Larsen, and a statue of him throwing a pitch sits right next to the exhibit.  The last ball is signed by Yogi Berra, and a statue of him catching Larsen's pitch sits next to the end of the exhibit.  In between, you'll find approximately 600 balls autographed by former Yankee legends including Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Joe DiMaggio, and not so Yankee legends including Bobby Munoz and Sal Fasano.  I spoke to the curator of the museum, and he told me the goal is to collect an autographed baseball from every Yankee ever to play for the team.  While I doubt they'll ever accomplish this feat, the fact that they already have as many as they do now, and counting, is pretty amazing.  

After the museum, we decided to finally head to our seats to check them out.  We lasted about 0.7 seconds there since I purchased horribly obstructed view seats that left us no view of right field.  Instead, we decided to watch the game from Standing Room Only, which there is plenty of around the stadium.  I looked around, I saw about 20-30% Phillies fans, which was extremely impressive.  Phillies Nation showed up, and they showed up in force, definitely one of the benefits of winning a World Series the year prior.

Since this is way too long already, I'll post most of the rest of this post in bullet format:

• Everything in the stadium is sponsored by something, the subway race, the sound made after a strikeout, the sound made when someone stole a base, and I think the toiletpaper was sponsored by Waste Management.  I'm joking about the TP, but ask anyone who has been to New Yankee, and they'll all agree it's not that far away.  
• The food choices are second to none at New Yankee.  The variety there was amazing.
• Contrary to popular opinion, you can afford to drink at New Yankee.  A beer costs....$6!  Cheaper than Philly, cheaper than Citi Field.  Amazing deal for a ballpark.  It is $10 for the souvenir cup though, if you wish to purchase.
• I don't know how much parking costs.  I don't wanna know how much parking costs.
• Half the seats in the expensive sections were empty.  The other half were taken by Phillies fans or the sailors who got free seats for Fleet Week.  Terrible pricing strategy.
• 4 Bleacher sections were completely or partially obstructed view seats.  Please for the love of god, knock down the damn Mohegan Sun.
• There's a Hard Rock Cafe in the stadium.  In poor taste if you ask me.
• The stadium plays like a complete joke.  Every fly ball flies into the stands.  On Sunday, Teixeira hit a broken bat home run.  Whoever designed that should be ashamed, seriously.  There were 12 home runs hit in the 3 games vs. the Phillies, and 2 Cy Young candidate pitchers threw on Sunday.

Overall, the stadium is gorgeous if you're looking at it from a strictly aesthetic perspective.  It did cost $1.6B, so I would hope it looks great.  However, it doesn't seem like a ballpark to me.  It's way too focused on the luxury corporate experience, and not on watching the ball game.  There's way too much concrete, not enough brick, and nothing distinguishable except for the white facade around the stadium.  There's too much corporate sponsorship, and I pray to god this is only a New York trend, and not something we're going to be seeing at all stadiums around the country.  Sadly, I know which way it's going to head.

After the game was over, I expected to be bothered by Yankee fans on the subway and walking out of stadium.  However, every New Yorker in the god damn city must have watched the game, and I had to hear shit from every person in the city for 3 hours.  I refused to take off even one article of my Phillies clothing, as I wear it as a sign of pride, not a badge of shame no matter what happened in the 9th inning of the game.  Yankee fans, we took the series 2-1.  We are the current World Series Champions.  We invaded your stadium and made it sound like Citizens Bank Park for most of the weekend.  Take your 26 World Series Championships, your $1.6B stadium, and shove it up your ass.  We'll see you in October.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Rise Against - Swing Life Away

Saturday Night Throwback Movie: The Sandlot

Summer is beginning to heat up, baseball season is already in full gear, and maybe you're thinking about watching a movie tonight.  What should you choose?  The Sandlot.  O yeah, it's been over 15 years since this masterpiece hit theaters, but it's still a classic that maintains watchability to this day.

Let's start with your protagonist, Scottie Smalls.  New kid in town, Dad recently passed away, can't play baseball worth a lick.  When he first shows up to "The Sandlot" he is ridiculed by all the members of the team except for one kid...

Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez - Tremendous baseball player.  Obsessed with the game, almost to a fault.  All he wants to do is play baseball.  He's also the consummate leader.  He's fair to everyone on the team, and sticks up for the underdog, even when it's not the most popular decision.  He also somehow is able to pickle "The Beast"

Timmy and Tommy Timmins - The brother duo who repeat everything each other say.

Kenny "The Heater" Denunez - Team's pitcher, second best player on the team.  Doesn't really add much to the movie.

Bertram Weeks - Gives everyone chew at the amusement park.  Leads to the disgusting but oh so hilarious vomiting scene on the spinning ride.

Alan "Yeah Yeah" McClennan - I think everyone knew someone like this kid when they were younger.  Kind of obnoxious and thought he was better than everyone else.  Didn't really make sense though since he had a nervous tick and always said "yeah yeah" at the end of every sentence.

Michael "Squints" Palledorous (pictured above) - One of my favorite characters in the movie.  He rocks the thick black-framed glasses, his clothes are out of style (even for the sixties), and he has a huge crush on the lifeguard at the local pool.  Best known for faking his drowning and making out with the lifeguard, Wendy Peffercorn, when she administers CPR to him.  Absolutely classic scene.  Of course, let's not forget about his brilliant telling of the story behind "The Beast."

Hamilton "Hambino" Porter - Without question, my favorite character in the movie.  He's the fat red-headed kid who plays the catcher in the movie.  He's a complete wise-ass and always has something to say to everyone.  He single-handedly vaulted the movie from great to classic with his line, "You're killing me, Smalls," which many people still repeat on a regular-basis to this day...yours truly included.

In all seriousness, this movie has a little bit of everything; action, romance (sort of), drama, and of course, lots of laughs.  You can watch it with your family, but it's still cool to watch even in your twenties.  I've covered the movie from a character perspective, but missed so many classic moments in between.  When it's all said and done, this movie is a fantastic nostalgic piece that will bring you back to your childhood, a simpler time, when the world didn't seem so crazy or messed up.  Go watch it tonight.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  The Fray - Heartless (Kanye West cover)

Bernie "Jed" Solomon 1932-2009

It has been nearly a month since I last wrote, and I apologize for the long absence from the blog.  Things over the past 4 weeks have been pretty crazy to say the least.  To start, my grandfather, who many of you lovingly knew as "Jed," passed away 2 weeks ago.  For those of you who did not know Jed, he was absolutely crazy and hilarious.  You never knew what he was going to do or what was going to come out of his mouth, and he made for some really good times.  I'll miss him a bunch, but every time I think about him he always brings a smile to my face.  I'll share one of my favorite stories with you now.

During a break from college, I went over my grandfather's house to hang out with him for a while and shoot the shit.  We were talking for a while, and Jed was running through the usual list of questions:  Are you getting laid? (No)  Are you gay? (No)  What's wrong with your pecker? (No response)  After the questioning, Jed started flipping through the channels.  Then he looked at me, got a gleam and his eye, and said, "You'll like this, pay attention."  I knew something was going on in his crazy head, and of course, my suspicions were confirmed...when he turned on the Playboy Channel.  "I just ordered this from those schmucks at DirecTV.  It's free for three months."  We then watched the Playboy Channel for the next hour or two before I left.  Jed asked me all kinds of great questions like, "What do you think of her bazooms?" and "Do you think this shit is real?"  I have to say I feel pretty damn lucky to say I'm probably the only person on this planet to watch the Playboy Channel with his grandfather.  

Of course, my grandfather wasn't always about raunchiness and swearing.  He was deeply devoted to me and my brother, and always took the time to see how we were doing and ask about our day.  He was a great man, staunchly devoted to his convictions, and I imagine I get some of my bull-headedness and stubbornness from him.  He was quite a presence, and there's going to be quite a large void in our family due to his passing.

Jed, you were quite the character, you'll never be forgotten.  RIP.

- Kaps

Song of the Day:  Oasis - Shock of the Lightning